Fic: The Cellmate, Chapter 5 Original poster: indigo_5
Title: The Cellmate Author: indigo_5 Chapter: 5 Rating: NC-17 Disclaimers: I own neither Luke, Noah, nor anything else related to ATWT. The show would look a lot different if I did. Spoilers: None. This is total AU. Previous chapters:Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4. Summary: Noah gets some shocking news. Notes: I'm a feedback fanatic. It's a sickness. Please help.
Luke was happy to discover that he hadn’t lost his talent for this. He learned quickly all the best ways to make Noah’s toes curl, from the long, slow strokes that drew out the pleasure like taffy, to the fast, deep, hammering thrusts that made Noah throw back his head and get so loud Luke had to find creative ways to cover his mouth. He loved watching Noah’s face as they made love, watching his eyes change, watching his face flush, watching his lips part and hang open. They tried to keep quiet, but Noah still whispered the rare word, and it drove Luke crazy when he did. Words like “oh God,” and “yes,” and “God, right there,” and “so good, so good.” Sometimes, right after they had finished, when their bodies were still tangled together and sweaty, Noah would turn to Luke with a grin on his face and whisper in his ear the best word of all: “Again.”
As the months passed, it got better and better. And not just the sex, but the rest of it too. They held each other at night and talked about everything, from their darkest secrets to their happiest memories and everything in between. Noah tolerated Luke’s brattiness and supported him through every sullen moment, while Luke forgave Noah his stubbornness and even tried to learn a little about those awful black-and-white movies he talked about so much. They talked about their pasts, their present, their future. Noah memorized Luke’s complicated family tree, and after a while, started coming along when Luke’s parents came to visit. On Noah’s birthday, they sent him five books on cinema and moviemaking. Noah was touched beyond words and wrote them a nine-page thank-you note, and he and Lily had been exchanging e-mails ever since.
Luke’s gift was a little more X-rated in nature.
Prison life, meanwhile, sucked. The days were repetitive and mind-numbing, and the violence and cruelty were sometimes hard to take. Luke witnessed a stabbing in the prison yard, a brutal beating in the cafeteria, and so many confrontations and death threats he sometimes wanted to stay in his cell with his hands over his head and never come out. But Noah was there with him through all of it, quietly supporting him, and somehow that made everything better. Every time Luke thought he just couldn’t take one more day in this place, Noah would smile at him and Luke would remember why he could.
By now, it was clear that everyone knew about their relationship, including the guards. And while sex between inmates was technically against the rules, Luke and Noah were model prisoners, so there was a silent understanding: as long as they didn’t push the issue, as long as they kept it quiet, as long as they didn’t get into trouble, the powers that be would look the other way. So they stuck to their don’t ask, don’t tell routine, acting like close friends during the day, coming together in the dark of night. And it was enough. Luke was happy.
So happy that he’d even started writing again. It had been a long, long time since he’d felt like doing that, but once he picked up the habit again, he found he couldn’t stop. He wrote little stories, some happy, some sad, all true. He’d spin short vignettes about the things that went on in prison, or longer reflections about the people he’d hurt and how much he regretted the choices he’d made. Sometimes, he’d just write silly love poems about Noah’s shyness or his deep voice or the sounds he made in bed. He’d read them to Noah at night, and Noah would blush to the roots of his hair. And then they’d make love, and Noah would give him some more material to write about.
Then, one day in July, they were standing in a row for mail call and the guard shouted out Noah’s name. Noah blinked and glanced at Luke for a moment before walking forward to take the envelope, and Luke just watched him, dumbfounded. It was the first time Noah had received a letter in the eleven months that Luke had been in this place, and by the look on his face, Luke guessed that it was the first time Noah had received a letter in the three years that he had been in this place. Noah walked back to the line slowly, staring down at it, and when he looked up at Luke, his face was white. “It’s from my father,” he said. Luke put his hand on Noah’s shoulder, unsure what to say. But Noah just walked away, still staring at the letter, and Luke let him go. He knew Noah needed to be alone right now, and as much as it killed Luke to do it, he had to give him that space.
When he’d waited as long as he could bear (about ten minutes), Luke wandered back over to their cell, peeking his head in. Noah was on his back on his bed, the pages of the letter fanned out on his chest, staring at the ceiling. “Noah?” Luke said tentatively, going to him and sitting on the floor next to the bed. “You okay?” Noah turned his head and looked at him, then wordlessly handed him the letter. Luke tried to speak again, but Noah stopped him before he could get a word out.
“Just read it.”
Luke paused, then looked down at the handwritten pages. “Okay,” he said. And he began to read.
*** Dear Noah,
I’m sure it must be a great surprise to hear from me. You probably think I’d forgotten I even have a son, and to be honest, I tried. I was revolted by what I saw that night in your bedroom, and by what I was told you did. I didn't want to listen when you swore to me it wasn’t true. I had suspected that you had homosexual tendencies, and the idea of a fine young man like Ricky doing the things you said, instead of the other way around… well, it was just too much for me to believe.
But I was wrong.
Last week, I received word that Ricky has been arrested for the rape of a freshman in his college dorm. A male freshman. When the police searched Ricky’s room after the arrest, they found a diary he had kept of all his “conquests,” including (but not beginning with) you. There had been several other victims at the college, but he had intimidated them all into not reporting it out of fear that they would not be believed. Just as you were not believed. The only reason he was caught this time is that the freshman’s roommate walked in on the crime in progress.
Faced with the overwhelming evidence, Ricky has agreed to a plea bargain that includes a reduced sentence for multiple counts of rape. He will have to allocute to each count, which means he will have to testify in court as to exactly what he did to each victim. He has already made a written statement in preparation for that process in which he indicates that he forced you to have sex and that he lied when he said that you forced him.
I do not pretend to understand why you chose to plead guilty to a crime that you did not commit. I have already consulted with an attorney, who tells me that the court will need an answer for that in order to set aside your guilty plea. However, she is optimistic that with Ricky’s statement and whatever additional facts are included in the allocution, she will be able to have your conviction overturned.
I have paid the attorney’s retainer and arranged for her to visit you at the prison, but I want to come and see you myself first. I decided to write you this letter in advance so that my visit doesn’t come as a complete shock.
Son, there are so many things I would do differently if I could. I never should have believed that a son of mine would willingly commit depraved sexual acts with another man. I should have believed you when you told me that Ricky was lying. I should never have turned my back on you.
I will be at the prison on the 26th. I look forward to seeing you, son. There is much we need to discuss.
Dad
***
“Oh, my God,” Luke said when he was finished, looking up at Noah, who was staring up at the ceiling again. “This is… Noah, this is…”
“Unbelievable. I think ‘unbelievable’ is the word you’re looking for.”
“Yeah.” Tossing the pages to the floor, he leaped on to the bed, crowing with laughter as he hugged Noah tight. “Noah, this is so great! This is --”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Noah wriggled out of Luke’s grasp, standing up, walking away. “It’s not great. It’s completely fucked up. Ridiculously fucked up, that’s what it is.”
“Noah, what is the matter with you?” Luke sat up, staring. “This means you can get out of here! It means you --”
“It doesn’t mean any of that.” Noah was turned away, his arms crossed, his body tense. Luke hadn’t seen this posture from him in a long time. “He doesn’t know the details yet. He’s going to find out that it started out with Ricky forcing me, but it turned into something else. He’s going to find out that I was more than willing to commit those depraved sexual acts, and that I commit them with you every night.”
“Noah --”
“He thinks I’m a faggot, Luke!” Noah was spinning around now, angry. “He said so that night. ‘I always knew you were a faggot.’ He said it again in this letter. I mean, he didn’t use the word, but…”
“Noah.”
“…but he’s still happy to tell me how revolting I am. Look at this letter! He was just as upset with the idea that I was a willing participant as he was with the idea that I was a rapist. You think he’s going to pay for this lawyer when he finds out the truth? I mean --”
“Noah, fuck your father!” That shut him up. Noah stared at Luke, silent. “It doesn’t matter. Even if he turns his back on you again, the statement from Ricky is still there. The allocution is still there. We’ll hire you a lawyer. Or we’ll contact the Innocence Project, or the fucking ACLU, Noah, Jesus! We’re getting you out of here!”
“I don’t want to get out of here!”
For a moment, both men just stared at each other, Noah’s words hanging heavy in the air. Finally, Luke spoke. “Don’t tell me you still think you deserve to be punished for being --”
“No!” Noah shouted, shutting his eyes, bringing the heels of his hands to his temples as if he had a splitting headache. “My Dad is an idiot,” he said quietly. “He taught me all kinds of stupid crap. Crap that was just dead, dead wrong.” Lowering his hands, he opened his eyes and looked at Luke again. “You know he never came to see me? Not once. They took me to jail the night I was arrested, but they set bail for me the next day, and Dad refused to pay it. He wouldn’t pay for a lawyer. He wouldn’t talk to me on the phone. He just exited my life. One day I had a father, and the next day I didn’t. No warning, just, poof! You’re on your own. And I had to go through all of this… all of this… the charges, the lawyers, the decisions, the adjustment to prison life, all of it… all alone. Nobody to talk to. Nobody to lean on. Just me.”
“I know,” Luke said softly. He walked to Noah and took his hand, squeezing it gently. “But you’re not alone now.”
Noah stared at their joined hands, swallowing hard. “But if I do this,” he said, “I will be.” Luke just looked at him, confused, and finally Noah met his gaze. “You have six years left before you’re even eligible for parole,” he said. “If I leave here…”
“Oh my God,” Luke said, finally getting it. “You can’t stay in prison because of me.”
“I can’t lose you,” Noah said, his voice straining. Luke saw, with shock, that Noah’s eyes were wet. He’d never seen him cry, not once, no matter what they’d been through. “Luke, I can’t… I can’t…”
Luke just grabbed Noah, holding him tight, his eyes wide open, feeling Noah clutch him back. But the moment was over quickly, when a large guard walked down the hallway and shouted for them to break it up. Noah jumped back, then ran out the door, and Luke just stood where he was, dumbfounded.
Noah kept his distance for the rest of that day, and Luke stayed away too, unsure what to do. He ate dinner with Alonso and his friends, then went and pretended to watch TV, his mind still reeling. How was this possible? What was he going to do? What was he going to do?
When he went back to his cell that night, Noah was already in his bed, his eyes closed, his body a comma facing the wall. Somehow, Luke knew that Noah was only pretending to sleep, but he was still going to respect the fact that he didn’t want to talk. So he didn’t try. He changed out of his uniform in silence, then crawled into his own bed.
Forty-five minutes after lights out, sleep was nowhere on the horizon. Luke threw off the covers and got up, then went to Noah’s bed and climbed in. Noah didn’t jump, didn’t protest, didn’t pretend to be sleeping. Luke spooned behind him, pulling him in close, and Noah covered Luke’s hand with his own and drew in closer. “I love you,” Luke whispered.
“I love you too.”
And Luke fell asleep.
***
Some time later, Luke awoke to a very naked Noah crouched on top of him, kissing his neck, pushing up his t-shirt to reveal the skin underneath. “Noah --”
“Need you to fuck me,” Noah whispered, tugging the shirt off, sliding his hand into Luke’s boxers to squeeze his cock. “Need you to. Please.”
“Noah, wait.” And he meant it. Luke’s brain was on board with the waiting plan. It knew that Noah shouldn’t be doing this right now, that they needed to talk first, that this was a bad idea. No one had yet gotten that message to Luke’s cock.
“Need it,” Noah said. Luke’s boxers were on the floor now, and Noah was swallowing down Luke’s dick, sucking it deep, taking it down his throat. Luke’s eyelids fluttered as he groaned, and Noah pulled off, grabbing Luke by his sides, rolling them both over so Noah was on his back and Luke was on top.
“Wait,” Luke said again, but his voice was breathless, his cock so hard. “We should t-- ”
“Luke, please,” Noah whined, his voice more urgent now. “Need you in me now. Can we, please, can we just, can we talk tomorrow? Please, I just…” He humped his hips up towards Luke, wrapping his legs around him. “I need this. Need you to fuck me blind, make the rest of the world go away. Please.”
God. Luke was harder than hell now, his usual response when Noah talked dirty to him, but he opened his mouth, ready to protest, ready to explain why they shouldn’t do this tonight. But Noah grabbed him, kissing him deep, and Luke forgot everything except whatever was going to get his dick inside his insanely hot boyfriend as soon as humanly possible. He fumbled for a condom, sliding it over his cock while Noah prepared himself, and before he knew how it had happened, he was deep inside. Noah let loose one of his deep, satisfied moans, and Luke began to thrust, running a hand up Noah’s raised thigh, clutching at his beautiful ass.
“Harder,” Noah whispered, and Luke thrust harder, moving faster, kissing him again. “Harder,” Noah said again when the kiss broke, and Luke obliged, losing control of his own breathing as his hips moved with a life of their own. “Harder, baby, fuck me harder,” Noah moaned, and Luke slammed in, making the bed creak with each thump of their hips, and now Noah’s lips were curled into an open-mouthed smile, and he was moaning happily, and the non-fried portion of Luke’s brain understood that this was what Noah wanted, a fucking so intense there was no room in his brain for anything else.
Luke was sweating now, driving in deep, unable to do anything except keep up his rhythm and focus on not coming too soon. If there was nothing else he could do for Noah tonight, at least he could give him the orgasm of his fucking life.
Noah grabbed his own dick and pumped it, and not long after, he was coming with a muffled shout, burying his mouth in Luke’s shoulder, clutching at Luke’s ass with his free hand to pull him in as deep as he could go. Luke thrust four more times and came, collapsing on top of his lover, and they lay there limply, trying to catch their breath. Eventually, he pulled out and rolled off of Noah’s body, settling on his back next to him, his breathing gradually returning to normal. “Thank you,” Noah whispered, and that was so fucked up, and now they had to talk, and Luke lifted up to say so. But Noah was already asleep.
Luke stared at him. What are we going to do? he thought again, no closer to an answer than he had been the last five hundred times he had asked that question that day.