miracle (miracle) wrote in luke_noah, @ 2009-01-29 12:24:00 |
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Entry tags: | -[luke/noah]-, fanfic, fanfic: [alternate universe], fanfic: [atwt], fanfic: rating: mature, » by: indigo_5 |
Fic: The Cellmate, Chapter 2
Original poster: indigo_5
Title: The Cellmate
Author: indigo_5
Chapter: 2
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimers: I own neither Luke, Noah, nor anything else related to ATWT. The show would look a lot different if I did.
Spoilers: None. This is total AU.
Summary: The truth about Noah.
Notes: I am being sooooo delinquent at my job (I actually worked on this at the office yesterday). But this story won’t seem to go away. Hope you enjoy the new chapter! Feedback would, as always, be fabulous.
The next morning, Luke woke up with a smile on his face for the first time in over a year. Since before the accident, before the drinking binges, before the election debacle and expulsion, before everything. He had been so low for so long that he almost didn’t recognize this feeling, but he lay in bed, eyes still closed, replaying the previous night’s lovemaking, and the smile turned into a grin.
***
The kiss was like a breath of fresh air, something they’d both been desperate for without even realizing it was missing. Luke’s hands were everywhere, in Noah’s hair, on his back, squeezing his ass. And Noah was kissing him passionately, lying on top of him, each new touch bringing out another low moan.
When they finally began to undress, it was mutual this time, Luke sliding off Noah’s clothes as Noah peeled off his. Noah pushed against him more strongly when they were shirtless, and Luke clutched him tight, relishing the feeling of Noah’s naked chest finally pressed against his own. He slid his hand down into the front of Noah’s pants and Noah broke the kiss, freezing over him, panting, looking like he wanted to run for the hills and dive deeper into Luke all at the same time. But Luke stared deeply into his eyes, moving his hand slowly lower, not breaking the gaze as his fingers curled around Noah’s cock and squeezed it. And Noah closed his eyes, his mouth hanging open, and Luke grabbed the back of his head and kissed him again.
And then there was no more hesitation. Pants and underwear fell quickly to the floor, and Luke moaned as Noah’s wet fingers found their spot inside him. But it was Luke who opened the condom, Luke who slid it onto his lover’s cock, Luke who raised his legs high on Noah’s waist and clutched his hips as he pressed inside. They kissed again as they moved together, Luke’s hands on Noah’s ass, Noah’s hands everywhere at once. And it was tender, and heated, and strong, and amazing. “Come for me,” Noah whispered when Luke was close, the first time he’d said anything at all during sex, and Luke did. And when Noah threw back his head and came, he moaned Luke’s name.
Afterward, they lay together, Noah curled around Luke’s body, and they didn’t talk. But they didn’t need to. And Luke fell asleep in Noah’s arms.
***
Luke opened his eyes, stretching, discovering that Noah had left his bed sometime during the night. He was on the other side of the room, doing his morning pushups, his gaze fixed on the floor.
“Morning,” Luke said, smiling.
“Hey,” Noah said shortly, not looking up.
“That was… last night was…”
But Noah was getting up, turning his back to Luke, making his bed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
In fact, Noah apparently didn’t want to talk at all, and he didn’t say another word all morning. When the cell doors opened so they could head to breakfast, he bolted out of there, keeping his distance from Luke. He stayed away all day. And Luke’s heart sank. His morning smile was gone.
The third time Luke saw Noah walk out of a room the moment he entered it, he decided he had had enough. To hell with this, he thought. I’m not going to chase after him. From then on, Luke purposely kept his distance too, staying as far away as he could, avoiding eye contact when they had to be in the same room, not speaking to him. He kept it up that night when they returned to their cell, getting quietly into bed and turning away without a word. Noah stood in the center of the room for a moment, looking at him, and for a second Luke thought he would speak. But he didn’t. He just went to his own bed, crawled in, and turned toward the wall. Luke shut his eyes tight, telling himself it didn’t matter, he didn’t care. Wishing they had never kissed. Because maybe then this wouldn’t be so hard.
That night, for the first time in the six weeks Luke had been living in his cell, Noah didn’t come to his bed. Luke told himself he was glad.
It felt a little easier to believe the second night, and even easier the night after that. By the time a week had passed, Luke had nothing but anger left in his gut, and he was sure that he would kick Noah out of his bed if ever tried to come back to it.
That night, he got his chance. He woke up to Noah’s hand on his shoulder, his touch gentle, the first physical contact they’d had in seven days. “Go away,” Luke said, keeping his eyes shut tight.
“Luke --”
“Go away,” he repeated, shaking Noah’s hand off his shoulder angrily.
But Noah stayed, sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at him. Several minutes passed before he spoke again. “It wasn’t my first time,” he said suddenly, his voice small, slightly shaking.
Luke stayed where he was. Half of him wanted to bodily push Noah off the mattress, but the other half… “What?” he finally said, his eyes still closed.
“I told you that I’d never… that I hadn’t done anything, with guys, you know. Until I came here. That wasn’t… that wasn’t exactly true.”
Slowly, Luke sat up, pulling his knees to his chest, crossing his arms over them. He gazed at Noah for a long moment before responding. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I-- I don’t know. I’m trying to explain, I guess. Trying to apologize.” They stared at each other, the silence heavy in the room.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you know,” Luke said finally, quietly. He watched the emotions wash over Noah’s face as he looked down at his hands, and there might as well have been a cartoon thought bubble hanging over the boy’s head, with yes, it is written in it. “Hey.” He reached out, covering Noah’s hand with his own. Noah jumped slightly at the touch, looking up. “I mean it. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
Now, Noah laughed, standing, walking to the center of the small cell and running both hands through his hair. “You don’t get it.”
“What don’t I get?”
Noah stood with his back to him, arms crossed in front of his chest. “It wasn’t… it wasn’t my choice.”
Luke’s heart broke a little as the meaning of those words sunk in. “Oh, Noah…”
“Look, it -- it doesn’t matter now.”
“Yes, it does.” Noah stood still, still facing away, not moving. Shut up, Luke. Let him talk. He bit his tongue, struggling to keep the words back, to give Noah room to speak. Eventually, he did.
“It was my senior year in high school,” he said, slowly turning around. “My Dad’s an army colonel, so I grew up on military bases. There was an officer, someone my dad had worked with years ago, someone he really looked up to, who was transferred to our base, only there was a housing shortage, so he and his son Ricky stayed with us for a few weeks while it was being straightened out.” He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was smaller. “One night, I woke up and Ricky was in my room. And he was…” Noah’s voice trailed off, and he looked away, his jaw clenching. “He was stronger than me,” he said quietly.
Luke wanted to wrap his arms around Noah, to hold him close, to tell him it would all be okay. But he knew this moment was fragile, knew he had to proceed with caution. Finally, he stood up, walked slowly to Noah, and took his hand. “It wasn’t your fault,” he whispered.
Noah shook his head. “You don’t understand.” His gaze was focused on his feet, his body tense. But he hadn’t pulled his hand away. “He kept coming to my room, every night. I could have stopped it, but I didn’t. I didn’t… I didn’t want to stop it.” He swallowed hard. “The first time, it hurt. A lot. But after that…” He paused, breathing. “I liked it,” he said, the words barely audible in the quiet room.
“Noah. Listen to me.” Luke raised his hands to both sides of Noah’s head, lifting his face until his gaze met his own. “You were a teenaged guy, and your body was responding to what he was doing. That doesn’t mean--”
But Noah was pulling away, walking away again, standing at the edge of the cell, looking out into the hallway. Luke balled his hands into fists, trying to control the urge to fill the silence with words.
“Three weeks into it, his Dad caught us.” Noah’s voice was flat now, emotionless. He was still staring out into the hall. “Ricky told him I’d forced him. His Dad believed it. So did mine.”
“Didn’t you tell them --”
“I tried. But Ricky was on the football team, and he had a girlfriend, and everybody liked him. And I was this shy geek who likes old movies a lot and can’t catch a ball to save my life. And it didn’t matter, anyway. Ricky’s Dad started yelling his head off when he caught us, and my Dad came running in. And as soon as he saw us in bed together, he lost it. He screamed at me, called me names, said I wasn’t his son. And that was before he even found out what Ricky was accusing me of. Once he did, he called the police himself.”
Luke’s jaw dropped open. “That’s what you were convicted of?”
Noah chuckled softly, but there was no humor in it. “That’s what I pled guilty to.”
If possible, Luke’s jaw fell even further. “Noah, why?”
“What would have been the point? A trial, testifying, the scandal. Telling the world, and my Dad, how much I loved it when Ricky stuck his dick up my ass. Telling them how Ricky forced me at first, but made me come afterwards, and I wanted him to do it again. Telling them that I’d had these sick fantasies about guys ever since I was a kid, and --”
“Noah --”
“A man doesn’t do that, Luke! A man doesn’t… I can’t…” He was shaking, and Luke crossed the room in two broad steps, wrapping his arms tightly around him, holding him close. “I can’t be gay,” he said. And Luke got it. He thinks he deserves to be punished, Luke thought. Jesus.
Luke held him tight, and Noah clutched him back. And then all of a sudden, Noah was kissing him, even more intensely than the first time, one hand at the back of Luke’s neck while the other squeezed tight against his back, crushing their lips together, pushing his tongue forward desperately. Luke kissed him back, strongly, meeting his tongue with his own, pulling him even closer. He had no idea what was happening, but he wanted this kiss to go on forever.
Finally, the kiss broke, and Noah leaned his forehead against Luke’s, his eyes dark, his mouth open, panting. “That part is new,” he whispered hoarsely.
“Wh-- what?”
“The kissing. The… everything. The way we did it the last time. I’ve never done that. I’ve never…” He swallowed. “I’ve never felt like this. I don’t even know what ‘this’ is.”
Luke had a sudden feeling that he knew exactly what it was, but he squelched the thought immediately. That was a bad idea. Couldn’t be that. Couldn’t be love.
Noah stroked Luke’s cheek with his thumb. “You’re being awfully quiet.”
Luke smiled sheepishly. “Doing my best.”
Noah smiled back. Wow. “It’s okay for you to talk,” he said, kissing his lips gently. “I like it when you talk.”
“I like it when you talk. I’m… I’m glad you did.”
“I’m sorry I -- I’m just sorry. When I woke up in your bed that morning, I just -- I freaked out. I couldn’t handle it. Ever since Ricky, I’ve been -- I’ve tried really hard to -- to be in control. You know? I made these rules.”
“No kissing.” Noah nodded, looking down again. “And you touch the guy, but the guy doesn’t touch you.” He nodded again.
“But with you, I… I wanted you to touch me. I wanted to kiss you. And I’d never done that before.”
Luke furrowed his brow slightly, confused. “Wait. You’d never kissed a guy before?”
Noah’s feet were apparently extremely interesting. He kept staring at them, swallowing again. “I’d never kissed anyone,” he said.
For once, Luke was at a loss for words. Was it possible that a human being this gorgeous had never been kissed?
Luckily, Noah’s gaze was still cemented downwards, and he missed Luke’s open-mouthed stare. “What we did that last time,” he said, and then paused. “I really, really liked it. Like, a lot. Too much.”
“Too much? What does that mean?”
“I was out of control.”
Tenderly, Luke placed a hand under Noah’s chin, lifting his face, waiting until Noah’s gaze met his own. “Do you feel out of control now?” he asked, his voice low, husky. Noah nodded, slowly. So afraid. And Luke kissed him, gently, softly. “Do you think…” he said, stroking Noah’s face, breathing the words against his mouth, “do you think maybe that’s okay?” Noah swallowed hard, then nodded again. And Noah cupped Luke’s face in both hands and kissed him back.
The kiss deepened gradually, and they made their way to Luke’s bed, still kissing as they lay down on it together. Luke rolled on top of Noah and gazed into his eyes. “I don’t want you to freak out,” he said softly, kissing his face. Noah exhaled, not speaking. “I don’t want to push you into anything. So I need you to talk to me. I need you to tell me when something is new, when something is too much, when you want me to stop.” Noah’s jaw clenched, but he nodded. “Is this okay?” Luke asked, tracing his tongue along the clenched muscle. Noah swallowed, his cock throbbing under Luke’s hips as Luke moved above him.
“Yeah,” he croaked.
Luke continued his kisses, pulling Noah’s shirt off, kissing his way lower. “What about this?” he whispered when his lips reached Noah’s waistband. “Have you done this before?” he asked, sliding the pants down and planting a feather-light kiss on Noah’s shaft.
Noah gasped, his hips bucking. Eyes wide, he shook his head. Luke rose up slightly. “No you’ve never done this, or no you don’t want it?”
“Never -- never done it. Want it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. God, yes.”
With a smile, Luke lowered his head and seized Noah’s cock firmly with his hand, sliding his lips over it. Noah threw his head back as he began to suck. “Oh, God,” he moaned. “Luke… God…” Luke bobbed his head, sucking harder, moving his tongue. He relished every sound that came out of Noah’s mouth, delighting in giving him such pleasure. When the sounds became more urgent, he slid his hand down, cradling Noah’s balls, and hummed. And then, all of a sudden, Noah’s hips lifted off the mattress and he was shooting hard into Luke’s mouth, coating his tongue with warm liquid, writhing and convulsing as Luke sucked down every drop.
When the last of the aftershocks subsided, he pulled Luke to him, kissing him wetly, still breathing heavy. Luke watched as he stared down at Luke’s raging erection, licking his lips tentatively. “You don’t have to,” Luke said, even though he was dying, dying, for Noah to suck him off. “I didn’t do that to make you -- I mean, I don’t want you to do anything that you’re not --”
“I want to,” Noah said. Luke stared at him, trying to identify every emotion passing through Noah’s face. He saw fear there, and shame, but also desire. Quite a lot of desire. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Noah covered it with his own. “I want to,” he said again when the kiss broke. “I want this.” Luke nodded, slowly, and without preamble, Noah leaned down and slid Luke’s cock into his mouth.
Luke moaned, louder than he meant to, and covered his mouth with the back of his hand. Noah was sucking him eagerly, greedily, like a man dying of thirst. He pushed too far, gagged, backed off, dove onto it again. One hand squeezed the base of the shaft while the other stroked Luke’s stomach, his hips, his ass. In no time at all, he had brought Luke to the brink, and Luke barely had time to squeak out a warning. “Noah, God, I’m coming,” he gasped, and Noah pulled off just in time, and Luke shot everywhere, his eyes rolling back in his head. If it was possible to die of pleasure, he thought he just might.
When he opened his eyes again, Noah was lying on his side, tenderly cleaning Luke’s body with the shirt Luke had torn off of him earlier. Luke caught his gaze and they smiled, both at the same moment, and moved together for a kiss.
That night, they slept in Luke’s bed together. And when Luke woke up in the morning, Noah was still there.