Title: The Cellmate Author: indigo_5 Rating: NC-17 Disclaimers: I own neither Luke, Noah, nor anything else related to ATWT. The show would look a lot different if I did. Spoilers: None. This is total AU. Summary: Luke’s new cellmate is intimidatingly tall. Notes: Okay. So. I took the day off from work today to get some work done around the house. But the boys would not leave me alone. I kept thinking about that little AU line I did for the microfic meme, and finally I just had to write it out and see where it took me. So here it is. I have no idea whether there’ll be another chapter to this or not; for now, this is all there is. Hope you enjoy it. I would love, love, love feedback!
Luke lay still on his thin mattress, staring into the darkness. It was cold in the cell, and the worn old blanket he’d been given wasn’t helping much. But that wasn’t why he couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t believe his life had come to this. A stupid mistake, an out-of-control night of drinking, a monumentally bad decision to get behind the wheel. And then there was screeching brakes and breaking glass and a lot of other, much worse sounds. Sounds that hadn’t left his head in the ten months that had passed since, months of subpoenas and lawyers and hearings and judgment. And now here he was, a convict, lying in the tiny cell that would be his home for a very, very long time.
He heard his cellmate shifting on his own mattress and closed his eyes, turning towards the wall. Mayer was tall, intimidating, downright terrifying. His face had showed no emotion when they’d been introduced early that morning, and he’d barely spoken a word since. Luke had no idea what the guy was in for, but he thought maybe it was better he didn’t. He would just stay away from Mayer, and Mayer would stay away from him.
Luke had decided months ago that it was better to face things on his own. It was why he’d broken up with Reg, why he had stopped returning his friends’ calls, why he didn’t really talk to his parents anymore. Not really. Not like he used to. He had let everybody down, and he couldn’t bear to cause anyone any more pain. So he was alone. It was better that way. But now that he was really alone, sleeping in a tiny, dark cell for the first of many, many nights to come, he suddenly felt lonely. For the first time in a long time, he wanted someone to hold him, to touch him, to take care of him. He felt so small.
Suddenly, he heard a soft noise behind him and felt a body crawl onto his mattress. Eyes flying open, he tried to sit up, turn around, but a strong hand held him in place.
“Mayer… what…”
“Shh.”
One hand was on Luke’s hip while another slid under his shirt, stroking the skin of his back, surprisingly gentle. Luke’s breath caught in his throat. Is this how it went in prison? Did you just get taken, grabbed, smaller man belonging to bigger man? Only that’s not how this felt. This wasn’t the touch of someone preparing to take advantage of him, to rape him. This was the touch of a lover.
Mayer’s hand slid around to Luke’s stomach now, still touching, so softly, caressing. He felt a mouth at the spot where his neck met his shoulder, breathing, kissing, biting. Luke’s breathing grew faster. His cock was beginning to respond. But he stayed frozen, body tense, hands in fists, eyes wide open. When Mayer’s hand sank a little lower, grazing his crotch over the pants of his prison uniform, he whimpered.
“Do you want this?” Mayer whispered, his mouth against Luke’s ear. And Luke closed his eyes again. The truth was, he did want this. His relationship with Reg had never been that great, but he did miss being touched this way, feeling this closeness, holding another body against his own. He’d been alone for too long. He needed someone with him tonight.
“Yes,” he whispered back, not turning his head. And Mayer’s hands were moving faster now, lifting Luke’s shirt off, throwing it on the floor with his own. Luke tried again to turn around, but Mayer held him in place, stroking his palm over Luke’s back, sliding it down to tug Luke’s pants and underwear down to his knees. The hand disappeared for a minute and Luke heard a sucking sound, and realized that Mayer was coating his fingers in saliva, getting ready. His cock grew harder. But when Mayer’s fingers grazed his hole, he reached back suddenly, grabbing Mayer’s wrist, looking over his shoulder. “Wait.”
“What?” Mayer was looking down, his muscles tense. He refused to meet Luke’s gaze.
“Mayer…” Luke’s voice trailed off. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to ask. He’d never done it like this, so impersonal, so meaningless. They hadn’t even kissed, and somehow Luke knew better than to try. As he gazed at Mayer’s gorgeous features in the dark room, he decided he was okay with that. But he still needed… something. “I don’t… I don’t even know your first name.”
“It’s Noah.” Luke stared for another beat, trying to will Noah’s eyes to meet his own, but it wasn’t happening. Gazing at him, he realized with a start that Noah was just as young as he was: 19, maybe 20. He looked just as scared as he was, too. And God, with his shirt off… God. Maybe he was over thinking this.
“Okay,” he said, and he turned back around.
When the first finger pushed inside him, Luke gasped, tucking his head into his chest, closing his eyes tight. This was all that mattered tonight, this feeling. Noah’s finger pressed against his prostate, and Luke moaned low. “Noah…”
“Shh.” Another finger joined the first, pushing, stretching. Luke moved his hips, searching for more, trying to be quiet. Suddenly, the fingers withdrew and he heard the rustle of Noah’s clothing, then the tear of the condom wrapper. He heard Noah slide it onto his dick, then spit into his palm, coating the latex with saliva. Luke clutched the mattress, preparing for what was to come.
And then there it was, Noah’s cock, thick and hard and pressing inside, filling him up. Luke moaned low, whiteknuckling the mattress now. He had missed this so much.
When he was all the way in, Noah paused, breathing hard against Luke’s shoulder, his grip tight on Luke’s hip. Then slowly, gently, he began to move. Luke moved with him, pushing his ass back to meet each thrust, his mind clear of everything but this feeling, this fullness. There was no room for anything else.
Noah grunted behind him with each thrust as he picked up his pace, his breath hot against Luke’s skin. There were no kisses, no words of tenderness, no words at all. Luke leaned his head back, his mouth open on a moan, and Noah’s hand slid off his hip and grabbed his cock, beginning to stroke. He bit down on Luke’s neck again as Luke reached behind him, searching for Noah’s back, pulling him in deeper. When his hand found Noah’s ass, Noah grunted in approval and pushed a little harder.
“Yes…” Luke whispered. “Noah…” Noah’s breath was coming even faster now, and Luke knew he was close. “A little more… just a little more… don’t stop…” He felt the familiar tightening in his balls, and before he could get out a warning, it was over, he was coming, covering Noah’s hand. With three more quick thrusts and a strangled groan, Noah came too, burying himself deep in Luke’s ass, pressing him tight.
They lay that way for a few moments, breathing heavy, and then Noah pulled out, pulled his pants back up, and quietly eased out of the bed. Luke stayed where he was, staring at the wall, not speaking. After a few minutes, he closed his eyes. And eventually, he fell asleep.
***
The next day, they didn’t talk about it, as Luke had pretty much figured they wouldn’t. Noah went about his day in stoic silence, barely speaking to anyone. He didn’t sit with Luke at mealtimes. He hardly acknowledged Luke at all. Luke was okay with that. He had enough to deal with, learning the rules of his new environment and figuring out who he could trust and who he couldn’t. He was used to being alone by now. He wasn’t looking for a friend.
But that night, when the lights were out, Luke lay on his mattress listening to Noah breathing, and found himself hoping he would join him again. The sex had been good, Noah’s fingers expert, his touch exhilarating, his cock spectacular. But more than that, Luke wanted that closeness again, the intimacy of being with another person again. He rolled onto his side, facing the wall like he had the night before, and couldn’t stop himself from smiling when he felt Noah climb onto the mattress behind him. They did it just the same way as before, not facing each other, no kisses, no words. And it was so good, so good. Their bodies moved together as if they were made for this, made for each other. And when Luke came, Noah moaned, as if feeling Luke’s come shoot onto his hand was as erotic for him as any part of it. He came a few short thrusts later, and Luke clung to his ass, holding him inside, wanting to draw out this moment for as long as he possibly could.
***
As the weeks went by, Luke began to relax a little. He found a few guys he could talk to, and he and Noah were even starting to become friends. The day he first got Noah to smile, just a quick reaction to a stupid joke Luke made about comic books, Luke wanted to pump his fist in the air in victory. But he restrained himself. They still didn’t talk about what went on at night. Every night. Luke told himself he was fine with that. He could have a fuck buddy without falling in love. He was sure he could. And Noah, God, gorgeous fucking Noah – what fool would kick that man out of his bed, no matter what the circumstances? So he followed Noah’s unstated rules, never touched him outside the cell, never let on that they were anything more than cellmates. Which maybe they weren’t. Maybe everybody did this at night. Luke didn’t really want to know.
It did bother Luke that Noah wouldn’t kiss him, though. He had tried a few times, tried to turn around when Noah got into his bed, tried to touch him, but Noah would never allow it. With never anything more than a firm hand and a silent shake of his head, Noah pushed him gently away. He never forced himself on Luke, and Luke knew that a single “no” from him would be enough to stop everything, but there were certain lines that would simply not be crossed. Luke wondered about that. But for now, he let it go.
The day the letter from Reg arrived, everything began to change. Noah saw Luke’s face when he was handed the envelope, saw how he stuffed it into his pocket without opening it, but didn’t say anything. Only later, when they were standing side by side on KP duty, washing endless piles of dishes, did Noah ask about it. “Are you going to read that letter?”
Luke bit his lip, not turning his head from his work. “No,” he said quietly. They washed in silence for several more minutes, and Luke knew he could let it go at that, and Noah wouldn’t press him on it. But Luke had always been a talker, and eventually the silence got to him. “It’s just… it’s from somebody I hurt. And I don’t really want to hear what he has to say.”
“Oh.” Noah stared at the dishes in front of him, his hands going about their task mechanically. “So… who is it?”
“My ex-boyfriend. It didn’t end well, and I just --”
“Your ex-boyfriend?” Noah turned to stare at him, clinging to an armful of plates, his mouth dropping open. “You -- you’re gay?”
Luke stared back, puzzled. “Well, yeah. I mean, obviously. Didn’t you kind of figure that out from the --”
With a loud clatter, Noah threw the entire pile of plates into the sink, his face filling with anger. “I’m not a fucking fag,” he said, and he stormed out. Luke stared after him. What the hell just happened?
Noah avoided him for the rest of that day. Every time Luke approached him, Noah turned away. When he tried to sit with him at dinner, Noah picked up his tray and moved to a different table. Eventually, Luke stopped trying.
But at night, it was just the two of them in the cell. Luke lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. I will not talk first. I will not talk first.
But, of course, he did. “What the fuck happened today?” he said, his voice echoing in the dark room. Noah didn’t respond. The silent treatment, Luke thought, chuckling inwardly. I don’t think so.
Sitting up in a rush, he climbed out of bed and went to Noah, who was lying flat on his back, his arms crossed over his chest. Without hesitating, Luke climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. “Hey!” Noah protested, trying to push Luke away. “What the fuck?”
But Luke seized both of Noah’s hands and pinned them down to the mattress, fixing Noah with an intense gaze. “You’re going to talk to me,” he said. Internally, he knew Noah was stronger and could toss him off like a sack of potatoes if he wanted to. But he also knew enough about Noah by now to know that the brooding, tough guy exterior was nothing but an act, that Noah wasn’t capable of actually hurting anyone. At least, he hoped he was right about that.
Noah glared at him, but he didn’t pull his arms free. “Get off of me,” he muttered.
“No.”
“Luke--”
“What was that? Why did you get so mad?”
Noah bit his lip, and Luke saw it again. That fear that he saw the first night. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to draw Noah into his arms, comfort him, tell him everything would be all right. But he didn’t. “I just -- I didn’t know you were gay,” Noah said finally. “I mean, you know… outside of here.”
“And you’re not.”
“No!” The anger was back, and Noah struggled with his wrists. But Luke pressed down a little harder, and the struggling stopped. “I -- this is -- I never did anything like this before I came here.”
Luke paused, wondering how to respond. He knew there were plenty of guys at the prison who fucked guys only because there were no women around. But he was sure, absolutely sure, that Noah was not one of those guys. The way he touched Luke’s body, caressing it, worshipping it… the way he kissed his neck, so tenderly… the way Luke’s every moan seemed to turn him on even further… no, Noah was not one of those guys. But maybe that was a conversation for another time. There was something else going on here. “Okay,” he said slowly. “But that doesn’t really answer my question.”
Noah stared up at him, silently, defiantly, waiting. Shit. He had a stubborn streak a mile wide. Almost as wide as Luke’s.
“Why did you get so mad when you found out I have an ex-boyfriend?” Noah looked away, wincing almost imperceptibly at the word, and Luke suddenly got it. “Oh, my God,” he said softly. “You’re jealous.”
Noah whipped his head back around, his brow furrowing in anger, and this time he did pull his hands away, pushing Luke off him, scooting back to the other side of the mattress. “What the hell are you talking about? I am not.”
“You are,” Luke said, marveling at it.
“Snyder, why would I give a fuck how many guys have fucked my faggot-ass cellmate up the ass? Why would I give a flying ass fuck?”
That hurt, and Luke failed to hide it. “Fuck you,” he said, his voice straining, and he stood up, climbing back into his own uncomfortable bed. But as the minutes passed and they lay listening to each other breathing, he found he couldn’t leave it at that. “Because maybe I’m not just your cellmate anymore,” he said.
There was no reply.
***
Hours later, Luke awoke to a familiar hand on his hip, a familiar weight on the mattress behind him. “You have got to be kidding me,” he said, pulling away. But the hand returned, gently rolling him on to his back, and Noah’s face was hovering over his.
“I’m sorry,” Noah said quietly. He was stretched on his side, propped on an elbow, and his eyes searched Luke’s face, hopeful, sad. Tentatively, he reached out and placed a hand on Luke’s cheek, stroking it gently. Just as Luke’s brain caught up to the fact that Noah was touching him while looking at him for the first time in the month and a half since he’d come to this godforsaken place, he noticed that Noah’s gaze was shifting to his mouth, then to his eyes again. Oh, my God, he thought. But before he could formulate much more, it was happening, Noah’s lips were on his, pressing gently, then pulling back, a soft, perfect kiss.
“You’re an asshole,” Luke whispered, but his hand was moving of its own accord, sliding up Noah’s strong arm, finding its way to the back of Noah’s neck. Noah nodded, opening his mouth to speak again, but Luke covered it with his own, pulling Noah’s body down on top of him. And Noah kissed him back, sliding his tongue into Luke’s mouth, moaning into the kiss, and Luke’s hands covered Noah’s back, pulling him in close, feeling Noah’s cock harden against him as the kiss deepened. Nope, definitely not one of those guys, he thought, and he smiled. Noah broke the kiss slightly, smiling back at him, and Luke’s breath caught in his throat. God, you’re beautiful. But he knew better than to say it out loud.
Noah kissed him again. And that night, they made love for the very first time.