FIC - The Worst Years of My Life (1/6) Original poster: crownroyal_51
Character: Noah Mayer Rating: PG-13 Spoilers: Up through June 1, 2007 Summary: Eighteen year old Noah Mayer longs to escape Ft. Leonard Wood so he can pursue his dreams. Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. They are the property of "As the World Turns" and P&G.
A/N: I'd like to thank rebop13 (Spookything on Vanhasis.net) for her suggests regarding this fic.
The Worst Years of My Life
Chapter 1
April 2007
Eighteen year old Noah Mayer stared at the letter in his hand…his ticket to freedom. Northwestern University had accepted him into their School of Communication where he would be majoring in Radio/Television/Film. Ever since Noah was a small boy he’d loved movies…they were his salvation. Alone in the darkness Noah could be someone else, live someone else’s life…a perfect escape. After seeing Casablanca on Turner Classic Movies Noah had been hooked. He spent countless hours watching movies, his favorites countless times, learning everything he could about them…about the actors and directors. It was love. And from that moment on Noah knew that he wanted to direct his own films one day.
Noah had received his acceptance letter from Northwestern a couple of months ago but had yet to convince his father to let him go there. Colonel Winston Mayer felt that enlisting in the Army was Noah’s best option that it would “make a man out of him”. His father was always telling him that he needed to be a man.
But what Noah really needed was to escape…escape from Missouri, escape from his father’s reign, escape to a new life. Noah’s father dictated Noah’s life as if he were one of his soldiers, not his only child. Rules, regulation, and routine…the three Rs were his father’s mantra. There were plenty of rules for Noah to follow. And Noah did…at least the best he could because when he didn’t…well…Noah hated to remember those times.
Noah loved his father…really he did…even during the most difficult times. Between the stress of losing his wife and serving in the Army, Noah knew his father had a lot to deal with. And his father was also raised by a military man so he had a hard time showing his emotions. Well…that wasn’t entirely true…he was damn good at showing anger, displeasure, disappointment. A wave of guilt washed through Noah for thinking those things. Life wasn’t always bad. They had their fishing trips, which seemed like the only time his father ever relaxed and seemed to enjoy himself and Noah’s company.
Growing up had been difficult for Noah though. Noah was taught at a very young age that real men never cried…not even when your mother dies when you’re only three years old. He was always to address his elders as “sir” or “ma’am” regardless if he was told otherwise. Noah had found this out the hard way while he was living at Ft. Hood in Texas…
“Noah, please…there’s no need to be so formal with me,” Major Ken Redmond told the seven year old boy. “Please call me Uncle Ken. I see you so much that we’re practically family.”
“I…don’t…know, sir,” Noah stammered. “I was always taught to respect my elders.”
The Major chuckled, ruffling Noah’s dark hair. “I’m too young to be an elder. Please…I insisted…Uncle Ken.”
Noah tried desperately to dismiss the gnawing feeling in his stomach. His father had been quite adamant as to how he addressed adults, especially those who were in the military. But then again, he’d been brought up to respect and obey his elders so by not calling Major Redmond “Uncle Ken” he’d be disrespecting one of his father’s friends and colleagues.
He couldn’t do that, could he?
Poor Noah didn’t know what to do. Why did they have to come to this party on Christmas Eve in the first place? Why couldn’t they have stayed home and watched “Miracle on 34th Street” or “It’s a Wonderful Life”?
“Okay, sir.”
“Uncle Ken,” Major Redmond gently corrected.
Noah just nodded his head and slinked away, hoping to disappear into the woodwork. He found life was much easier if he faded into the background and said nothing.
However, Noah wasn’t allowed to blend for long. The Major had requested everyone gather around their Christmas tree so he could pass out gifts. Noah had been flabbergasted when the Major handed him a small, rectangular box. At first he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to open it or wait until Christmas Day. Noah wasn’t used to receiving many gifts. His father only gave him a gift or two for Christmas and a small present on his birthday…if he was deemed worthy.
“Go ahead, open it,” the Major urged.
Tentatively Noah tore the paper, revealing a “Wizard of Oz” VHS tape. Noah’s heart caught in his throat. He never had his very own movie. “Wow…thank you, Uncle Ken,” Noah breathed.
Immediately he felt his father’s hand lock onto his shoulder like a vice grip. “Noah, I thought I taught you better manners than that,” Winston said sternly.
“Winston, it’s okay. Noah and I are pals,” Major Redmond replied. “I know how much you enjoy movies so I thought I’d help you start your very own movie collection.”
But Noah had a sinking feeling that it wasn’t going to be okay once they got home. His father didn’t say a word to him on their short walk back to their house. Instead he just guided Noah by the scruff of his neck along the sidewalk. Noah didn’t dare cry out as his father’s fingers sunk into his tender flesh. He just held on tightly to his VHS tape and willed the tears not to form in his eyes.
His father pushed him through the door that led into the garage, shoving him up against his father’s sliver Ford pickup truck. “How dare you embarrass me in front of one of my superiors?” he demanded.
“I’m…I’m…sorry, sir,” Noah stammered.
“You have been told time and again to address your elders as ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’!” Winston shouted. “Is that so hard to remember?”
“I…I…he…told me to call him that, sir.”
Noah’s words were met with a slap to his face. “Don’t you dare give me lip, boy!”
“Sorry,” Noah apologized even though in his heart he knew that he hadn’t done anything wrong.
“I don’t think you are! I think you need some time to reflect on your despicable behavior,” Winston ranted. He snatched the “Wizard of Oz” tape out of Noah’s hand. “I will not have my son in possession of this crap. It embarrasses me that one of my colleagues would think that my son would enjoy such a pansy movie. I will make a man of you if it’s the last thing I do.”
“I’m sorry,” Noah pleaded, hoping that if he kept saying it over and over his father would finally believe him.
Winston shot daggers at him. “I think you’re sorry you got caught. But once you repent you’ll really be sorry. You’ll spend tonight out here. Maybe in the morning you’ll see more clearly.”
“But, sir, it’s cold out here. And I’m not wearing a coat,” Noah protested. Even though they lived in Texas it was still quite cool at night in December.
“You’ll need to try to be a man and tough it out then,” Winston replied, turning on his heel and marching toward the door that led into the house. “Once I turn out these lights they better stay out, understand?”
“Yes, sir,” Noah squeaked.
“Maybe some day you’ll stop disappointing me,” Winston said, before shutting off the garage lights and locking the door behind him.
Noah sunk to the floor wrapping his arms around his legs, trying to stay warm and stave off the terrible night noises. He knew he wouldn’t hear the sound of Santa and his reindeer coming to his house to deliver lots of presents. Long ago his father told him that only the weak minded believed in Santa Clause. But Noah still wanted to believe that there was a Santa who would come and rescue him, take him far away to one of the many great places he’d seen in the movies.
Even the thought of movies couldn’t make Noah feel better for he knew that his “Wizard of Oz” video tape most likely met an unkind fate. He felt just like Dorothy locked up in the Wicked Witch of the West’s castle…abandoned, hoping for help. But Noah knew that he didn’t have any friends to come rescue him. He was truly alone.
Noah shuddered at the memory. The next day when his father had fetched him from the garage Noah discovered that their Christmas tree was gone as were the presents that had been underneath it. Noah never got a single gift that year and the one he did get had been cut apart and dumped on his bed as a reminder of his insubordination. And a couple of months later, his father was promoted from Captain to Major and they were transferred.
One might think it was glamorous to move from base to base, seeing the world so to speak. But there was nothing glamorous about moving from base to base, never staying in one place long enough to make any real friends.
Ft. Hood in Texas held his first childhood memories…flashes of a sad woman with long blonde hair whom Noah assumed must have been his mother. Noah didn’t have any real concrete memories of her since she had died when he was so young. Noah didn’t even have a single picture of her. His father said that there was no need to hang onto the past. Noah had to learn to deal with death like a man and move on. But over the years Noah tried as hard as he could to hold onto those flickers of the pretty, young blonde, hoping that it was really his mother and not some fantasy he had conjured up.
From Texas the Mayers moved to Ft. Shafter in Hawaii. Noah had been eight years old when they arrived in Honolulu. He’d been in awe of their beautiful surroundings, loving to be able to flee to the beach when he could. It was in Hawaii where Noah discovered X Men comics but when the Colonel found his comic book he burned it right in front of him, informing Noah he wasn’t to waste his time reading fantasy garbage. He quickly learned that even though his surroundings had changed, his life still had remained very much the same.
Noah was eleven when they arrived at Ft Bragg in North Carolina. By then Noah had spent his life trying so very hard to please his father to no avail. Keeping his room clean, his bed made up to the military standards, getting As and Bs on his report card, doing the dishes by hand every night regardless of whether or not they had a dishwasher…none of this seemed to be enough for his father. Winston wanted a strong son, but Noah was rail thin and still on the small side. The beatings with his father’s belt started here…whether it was because Noah forgot to take the garbage out or didn’t make the junior high football team.
Finally they ended up at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri when Noah was fourteen. His father had made the rank of Colonel, which Noah had hoped would lead to a better life for him. Noah had prayed that this would be the last move he’d have to make with his father. More than anything he had wanted to be able to attend high school in one place so he might have a chance to actually make some friends.
Noah got part of that wish when they first moved in and he met his next door neighbor, Kyle Babcock, who was three years older than him. Kyle was quite handsome…tall, athletic with light brown hair and deep emerald green eyes. He was basically everything that Noah wasn’t…captain of the football team, a straight A student, president of the class, outgoing, funny, good looking, and charismatic. Noah couldn’t believe that an incredible guy like Kyle would want to be friends with a scrawny, ugly duckling like him.
But he had been. And Noah wanted to be just like Kyle, who had planned on attending Northwestern in the fall. Kyle had given him focus…a purpose. Noah was determined to get to Northwestern. It didn’t matter that Kyle had planned on studying in London the upcoming semester. Noah still wanted to go there. And maybe when Kyle returned they’d be able to renew their friendship…
“So you’re really going to be leaving?” Noah asked, struggling to keep the anxiety out of his voice. He didn’t want to think of what his life would be like without Kyle in it. Kyle was his friend, protector…everything to Noah.
“Not until the end of August,” Kyle assured him. “But even when I do go away, we’ll still be friends.”
Noah’s eyes lit up. “Really?”
“Of course! And you can come visit me anytime.”
“That would be great,” Noah said, but even as the words left his mouth he knew that his father would never allow it. For some reason, his father didn’t like Kyle, which was strange because everyone else did. Kyle was perfect.
“Maybe you could even go to school there after you graduate,” Kyle suggested. “They have a pretty good film program.”
Northwestern with Kyle…and studying film? Wow. Noah couldn’t think of anything better in life.
“I’d love to go to Northwestern with you!” Noah gushed. Damn…why did he have to be such a geek? Real men don’t carry on like this.
Kyle draped his arm around Noah’s shoulders. “Then it’s a plan.”
Noah could feel the color rise in his cheeks. He prayed that Kyle didn’t notice, because he would be mortified. Noah didn’t want to lose Kyle as a friend. He’d had so few in his life. And how would he explain to Kyle that he wasn’t used to people touching him? That hugs and kisses had been so rare in his life. His father certainly never showed him any affection…only a backhand or belt.
But Noah really loved it when Kyle touched him. Often his friend would put a casual arm around him, give him a playful punch or pat on the back, and every so often he’d bestow him with a quick, friendly hug. And Noah just wanted to cling to him when he did, loving how amazing Kyle’s strong arms felt wrapped around him.
Noah kept telling himself that there wasn’t anything wrong with liking this. They were friends and it was okay to enjoy being touched by his friend.
Right?
Taking a deep breath and clutching the letter in his hand, Noah marched into the kitchen determined to reason with his father. However, he stopped short when he discovered his father sitting at the kitchen table with Major Gerard McLane, who lived a couple of door down from them.
“I’m sorry,” Noah stammered. “I didn’t realize you had company, sir.” Noah turned to leave the room but his father’s voice stopped him dead in his tracks.
“What’s that in your hand, Noah?”
Noah swallowed before he replied, “It’s my acceptance letter to Northwestern.”
“Northwestern?” Major McLane spoke up. “Isn’t that where Lieutenant Colonel Babcock’s son goes? What a prestigious school! Congratulations, Noah.”
“Thank you, sir,” Noah said as his father’s icy eyes bore down on him.
“You must be proud of him, Winston.”
“Noah’s a hard worker,” Winston said evenly.
Noah’s heart sank. For a split second he thought maybe…just maybe his father would actually say he was proud of him.
“When do you leave for school?” Major McLane asked.
“I…ah…actually haven’t accepted yet.”
“What are you waiting for? You don’t want to wait too long or else all of their openings will be filled.”
Noah stood there silently. He couldn’t admit that his father had yet to agree to send him to Northwestern. Major McLane couldn’t know how when the Colonel found out that Noah had applied to Northwestern he backhanded him so hard that Noah had blacked out when he hit the floor. Noah hadn’t expected the violence since his father hadn’t hit him since he was a sophomore in high school which was when Noah had shot up to over six feet tall, although he was still skinny and lacking the muscle tone of a real man.
A flash of anger flickered across his father’s face. It was over in an instant so he was sure that Major McLane didn’t notice. “Gerard’s right. You better get your acceptance letter in the mail quickly.”
Noah studied his father for a moment, unable to tell if this was all for show or if he was really serious. “Are you sure, sir?” Noah clarified.
“Yes, Noah, if you have your heart set on Northwestern then that’s where you should go,” Winston replied.
“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir,” Noah said, fighting to keep the excitement out of his voice. He turned to Major McLane. “It was very nice seeing you, sir.”
“You too, Noah. I’d wish you luck at Northwestern, but I doubt you’ll need it. You’re such a fine young man,” the Major told him.
“Thank you, sir.”
Noah dashed off to his room and quickly filled out the paperwork for Northwestern. Once everything was sealed into the envelope he sprinted to the post office so his paperwork would go out in today’s mail. Noah was beyond excited. He was really going to be going to Northwestern. He never thought his father would change his mind, but he had Major McLane to thank for it.
Actually, he had Major McLane to thank for a lot of things. The bald, burly Major, who looked a lot like Mr. Clean (minus the earring), was Noah’s guardian angel always looking out for him.
When Noah was a sophomore he’d taken a drama class which had infuriated Winston. Real men didn’t act or work in the theater. The Colonel had insisted that Noah drop the class and take something else but it was too late in the semester to change by the time Winston had made his discovery. Major McLean happened to be over for dinner when his father was complaining about it. Much to Noah’s surprise the Major said positive things about Noah’s drama class like how it took courage to go up on stage. Thankfully after that conversation his father kept his displeasure about the drama class to himself and Noah flourished in the class.
And shortly after Noah’s seventeenth birthday the Major’s son, Stan, was killed in Afghanistan. The Major insisted that Noah have Stan’s black, Dodge Ram pickup truck. Noah’s father had originally been against it, saying Noah couldn’t accept such an elaborate gift but the Major McLane had insisted. Noah took excellent care of the truck, making sure it was always washed and vacuumed. He never wanted to give his father a reason to take it away from him.
Having the truck had helped enormously in putting his plans for his future in motion. He got a job at Jack’s Diner flipping burgers, saving every penny so he could buy a digital camcorder. In the summer he worked backstage at Summer Theatre in the Park in Branson, which lead to him getting an internship at the Moon River Theatre in Branson. He learned a lot working at the theater. They were so impressed with him they hired him on as one of the Assistant Stage Managers.
And he owed it all to Major McLean, who was the closest thing he had to a friend besides Kyle. But now Kyle was so far away. Noah really missed Kyle…
Noah quickly pushed the thought from his mind. He needed to focus on the second phase of his plan, getting an internship at a TV station for the summer. He’d sent out his resume which consisted of being a cook at Jack’s Diner, ushering at Cinema VIII, acting, directing, set design for high school plays/productions, assisting with the sound and sets for a couple of the Theatre in the Park plays, and finally his weekend work at the Moon River Theatre. Noah knew if all else failed he still had a job there but he really wanted to get out of Missouri and closer to Northwestern as soon as possible.
So far he had struck out in Chicago so he expanded his search to surrounding cities. He sent out a second round of resumes to WCIA and WILL in Champaign, WMBD in Peoria, and WOAK in Oakdale.
Something had to come through for him.
******** Two Weeks Later
Noah was driving to Branson on his way to work at the Moon River Theatre when his cell phone rang. He glanced down at the number on the display and didn’t recognize it. The area code wasn’t even familiar to him either.
“Hello?” he answered his phone.
“Is this Noah Mayer?” a kind, soft spoken female voice asked.
“Yes, this is,” he replied, his mind racing to try to put a face with the voice.
“Hi, I’m Kim Hughes from WOAK TV in Oakdale, Illinois,” she explained. “I took a look at the resume you submitted for the intern position and I must say I’m pretty impressed.”
Noah’s heart rate quickened. She was impressed. Maybe…just maybe…
But he couldn’t get ahead of himself. He couldn’t blow his big chance by sounding like a blabbering idiot. “Thank you, ma’am,” he forced himself to calmly reply.
“Do you have time to do a quick interview?” she asked. “Normally I would bring you in for this but since you live in Missouri I figured we could do a phone interview and take it from there.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Great! First, why do you want to be an intern at WOAK?”
“I think it would be a great opportunity to learn the inner workings for a TV station,” he told her. “I think the experience will be quite valuable when I attend Northwestern University in the fall.”
“Northwestern? That’s very impressive,” Kim marveled. “What are you going to study there?”
“I plan on studying at their School of Communication in the Radio/Television/Film department.”
“What would your dream job be?”
“A film director.”
“From the looks of it you have some experience directing. Now, the internship spot we have available isn’t too glamorous,” she explained. “There is going to be a lot of collating, filing, errands.”
“That’s perfectly fine with me, ma’am,” Noah assured her. “I’d be willing to sweep the floors there.”
She laughed softly. “Well, Noah, I can assure you that the position doesn’t entail any janitorial duties. But depending how the summer goes, there may be an opportunity to work on some special projects.”
“That would be great!”
She went on to ask him some more questions about his theater experience in high school and at the Moon River Theatre in Branson. She also found out his favorite and least favorite aspects of each. Noah filled her in on what he felt were some of the highlights of each position.
“We’re looking for someone to start on June 1st,” Kim told him. “Would you be able to start then?”
Noah’s high school graduation ceremony was on May 30th but he was willing to do anything to make sure that he would be in Oakdale, Illinois in time to start the internship.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Then June first it is then,” she decided. “I’ll expect to see you at eight o’clock.”
“I’ll be there,” he assured her.
“I’m looking forward to having you on board. I have a good feeling about you, Noah Mayer.”
“Thank you so much for this opportunity, ma’am,” Noah said excitedly. “I won’t let you down. I promise.”
“I’ll send you an e-mail with directions to the stations along with any other pertinent information you may need,” Kim said. “I’ll see you on June 1st.”
“I’ll be there. Thanks again, ma’am.”
Noah was beyond thrilled when he hung up his cell phone. In a little over a month he’d be free of Missouri, Ft. Leonard Wood, and his father.
Shit…his father, who wasn’t going to be pleased that Noah had accepted an unpaid internship. The Colonel believed that a man should be paid for a hard day’s work. He hadn’t been pleased when Noah had taken the internship at the Moon River Theatre last summer but changed his stance somewhat when they hired him on for weekends after his internship had ended.
No…Noah couldn’t go through that again. He’d learned over the years that fighting with his father never ended pretty. In fact, all of their arguments ended with Noah being hurt one way or another…whether it was physical or mental. Noah had all of the scars to prove it too.
Noah would have to keep it a secret up until it was time to leave for Oakdale. It was the only way. And Noah needed to somehow get to Oakdale so he could find a place to live over the summer. He had to find a way to get there before his internship started or else he’d end up living in his truck.