miracle (miracle) wrote in luke_noah, @ 2007-11-09 10:21:00 |
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Current location: | My room even though Im supposed to be at work |
Current mood: | creative |
Current music: | Running Free- Coheed and Camrbia |
Entry tags: | -[luke/noah]-, fanfic, fanfic: [atwt], fanfic: rating: mature, » by: morbid_model, » by: passionate_hope |
Weight of Love:Chapter 3. Nc-17 Fic.
Original poster: morbid_model
Title: Weight of Love Chapter 3
Authors: passionate_hope and morbid_model
Rating: Nc-17.
Disclamier: We dont know Van or Jake, we dont own the characters Luke and Noah. Were not on strike so were obviously not real writers for ATWT. Randy however is our own creation.
Notes: Omg. We are so overjoyed at the respsonses we have gotten so far! We love you guys and we hope we did you proud with this chapter! Feedback is love....so leave comments! Were working on chapter 4! And we thought you all might want to know where we came up with the title of our fic. Its a song and the lyrics are found here:
http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Le
Chapter 1 and 2 should be read before this---so here are the links:
http://community.livejournal.com/nukelo
http://community.livejournal.com/nukelo
"Hey Luke,” Randy said entering the room. What was it with that kid? He certainly has perfect timing, Noah thought bitterly.
“Hi,” Luke responded without looking up. He was trying to get the creases out of the paper Noah had so carelessly wrinkled.
“I had a good time last night. I hope we can do it again soon.” Randy said with a wink. Noah couldn’t stand the grin that crossed Luke’s face at that moment. And that was saying something because he usually loved Luke’s smile.
He was sure there was smoke coming out of his ears when he saw Randy go over to Luke, wrapping his arms around him. He pulled him close and nuzzled at his neck. Noah was seeing red. Randy whispered something in Luke’s ear which made the other boy giggle, and Noah turned away, he couldn’t watch anymore. One more minute of the new guy fawning over Luke and he surely would lose his appetite.
“What’s wrong with you?”
For the second time that day Luke’s voice made him jump. He looked around and wondered when Randy had left the room. It was once again just him and Luke.”
“What did he mean by that,” He asked hoping his voice didn’t sound accusatory to Luke.
“By what,” Luke asked, the expression on his face clearly puzzled.
“A good time?” Noah asked, unable to hide the bitterness in his tone.
“Oh,” Luke said casually, that smile crossing his lips once more. “You know,” he continued, sending a crude wink Noah’s way even as a faint blush tinted his cheeks.”
“You slept with him?” Noah said incredulously. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He couldn’t have done that, not after what they had shared just that night. “Seriously?”
“I don’t think that is any of your business, Noah.” He said picking the script up off the table and turning away from him. “Now if you don’t mind I have to make a new copy of this. You ruined it.”
“Hey, wait. I’m not done with you,” he snapped at Luke’s back. Either he didn’t hear him, or he chose to ignore him, either way Noah was very irritated. And thinking about Randy’s hands on any part of Luke only upset him more.
He tried unsuccessfully to continue his conversation with Luke, but to no avail. He would have sworn that Luke was purposely avoiding him. Finally at the end of the day he cornered him by the filing cabinet. Luke was putting something in the bottom drawer and when he stood up Noah was right in front of him.
"Excuse me," he said trying to walk past him.
"Wait," Noah said grabbing hold of his arm. "We need to talk."
"I don't think we have anything to talk about," he said wrenching his arm away from Noah.
"We have a lot to discuss, Luke," Noah said getting frustrated. He tried to grab ahold of Luke again but he scooted out of his reach.
"You have no real right to touch me," he said surprising Noah with his anger. "And what you pulled yesterday, that can't happen again."
"But you liked it?" Noah retorted, trying hard not to raise his voice.
"It doesn't matter if I liked it, Noah," Luke exclaimed. "You are in a relationship, with Maddie. Remember her, my best friend? You are supposed to be with her, and, we can't keep doing this."
"Doing what?" Noah asked his heartbeat quickening. It was fairly obvious that Luke was upset with him, and he had to find out why. How did someone manage to be angry and sexy at the same time?
"THIS" Luke said pointing at him and Noah and the air around. "I can't do it anymore, and I’m not talking to you about me and Randy. That is my business."
He shoved Noah out of his way and left the room, the door slamming with a resounding thud. Noah stood there for only a moment before grabbing his jacket and following him out. He was going to talk to Luke tonight, even if he had to go to his home to do it.
**
He had no right doing this and he knew it. He was well aware that what he was doing would be considered stalking in most circles, but he didn’t feel bad about it. He had to do this, had to follow Luke home and get to the bottom of what was going on. He wasn’t trespassing…not really. He was Luke’s friend, and he only wanted to talk to him. It wasn’t his fault that the other boy was bullheaded and stubborn. It made sense for him to do this, he just couldn’t leave things the way they were. Something inside just wouldn’t let him drop it.
For long moments he just stood there in the shadows watching Luke walk around the kitchen. It was too easy for him to do this. To stand there, mere steps away from what he wanted. He was the reason Luke was out of reach. He was the one who created this wall between them, and only he could break it down. He knew that…he was just so afraid of a lot of things.
He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. There was nothing to be afraid of. Not here. As he continued to watch Luke he knew that. There was nothing here to stop him, no one whispering in his ear about being a “real man” whatever that was supposed to mean. With Luke he could be himself, and that was what he was going to do…what he needed to do. It was time.
Taking a deep breath he forced his feet to move and he knocked on the screen door. His heartbeat quickened as he waited to see if Luke would come to the door. After a minute he started to think the other boy was ignoring him so he knocked again, this time louder. He watched Luke set down the pan he had apparently been holding and cursed himself for being impatient. He closed his eyes for a moment trying to calm his nerves. There was nothing to be nervous about here, he was in control. When he allowed his eyes to open Luke was standing behind the closed door, with his arms crossed. He did not look happy to see him.
“What are you doing here?” he asked incredulously.
“Open the door, Luke,” he said the anger he had felt earlier rushing to the surface. Luke was too calm, how was that possible after what they had been discussing earlier? “I told you I wasn’t done talking to you.”
He was ready to argue with him, ready to force his way into the house if he had to. He was determined that he would finish his conversation and set the record straight that very night. He was prepared to wait out Luke’s stubbornness when the screen door opened and Luke stepped back to let him in.
He fought back his surprise and walked into the house. He waited until Luke had closed and secured the door before turning on him.
“Did you really do it, Luke?” he asked, catching the other boy off guard momentarily. “Did you really have sex with Randy? How could you,” he said not giving Luke a chance to answer his question. “He’s not even your type.”
The look on Luke’s face did not help his temper at all. It was a cross between amused and offended, and Noah wasn’t sure what to think about it. Whatever the case it was slowly turning him on. Angry Luke was just as sexy as happy sunshine grin Luke. It was infuriating.
“First of all, Noah,” Luke started and he knew that a fight was coming. Luke was still upset with him, and somehow he had only managed to make it worse. “You have no right to assume that you know my type. And second of all, I don’t go around asking about who you sleep with so what gives you the right to quiz me? What I do or don’t do with Randy is my business, and if you don’t mind I’d like to keep it that way."
His entire body was shaking with anger at Luke’s words. He closed his eyes in an attempt to reign in his feelings. It didn’t work, behind those lids all he could see was Luke…HIS Luke being touched by that other man and it was enough to make him sick to his stomach. He could feel h is lungs closing off as he tried to catch a breath. Why was Luke ding this to him? Surely he knew what he was doing…that he was slowly killing him.
“If you are determined to stand there, you could at least open your eyes and look at me.” Luke’s voice broke the spell and Noah opened his just in time to see him walk over to the refrigerator. “Would you like something to drink?”
Noah couldn’t help but stare at him as he rifled through the fridge. Perfection; that was the word that came to mind when he thought of Luke’s body…and things he wanted to do to his body. He couldn’t understand how what happened between them meant so much to him but didn’t seem to faze Luke at all.
He couldn’t help but wonder if Randy had the same effect on Luke that he had had at dinner. Did Randy make his breath quicken, his eyes roll back into his head? Did Luke cry out in ecstasy the same way he had at the restaurant? Just the mere thought of him reacting like that for anyone else infuriated Noah. That was HIS moan, Luke made it because of him and he had no right make it for anyone else. No one was allowed to get those type of reactions from him. Only he was allowed to make him come like that. It became clear to Noah just then that he needed to make sure Luke was aware of that fact.
“I know what you’re doing, Luke,” he said not taking his eyes off the other boy.
“I’m trying to offer you a drink,” came the response swift and quick. Luke continued to search for something in the fridge as if he couldn’t locate something that Noah would want.
“NO,” Noah countered, his voice suddenly husky. “You’re only doing this to make me crazy…Aren’t you?”
For the longest time there was silence as Luke paused in his movements. Ever so slowly he stood up, and Noah’s breath caught as those eyes, deep sapphire blue, turned to face him. The look on that face was defiant, though there was a gleam in those eyes that was unmistakable. There was no telling what Luke would do, though Noah was expecting him to tell him to fuck off.
“Is it working?” Luke asked, his eyes boring holes into Noah’s soul.
That simple statement was enough to make Noah react. Before he even knew what hit him he was pressing Luke up against the counter, their mouths locked in a heated embrace that would have knocked both of them off their feet if not for the counter.` Time seemed to stand still as they kissed, both of them getting lost in the moment. Noah felt Luke’s hands reach to clasp his shirt, pulling them closer together…as if that was even possible.
When they pulled apart Luke gasped and Noah leaned close to his ear, to make sure what he was going to say was heard loud and clear.
“Let’s get one thing straight, Luke Snyder,” he said, his words sounding steely even to his own ears, “You are mine. Is that clear?”
Luke’s only answer was a hitching of breath as Noah bit into his earlobe. Those hands that were holding Noah’s shirt went up and around to clench at his back.
Noah was relentless in his ministrations, allowing his lips to travel from Luke’s earlobe to the sensitive spot behind his ear. He sucked on it lightly and Luke’s right leg traveled up and latched itself to Noah’s waist. When those hips arched and pressed into his own, Noah knew he was in control. He had Luke right where he wanted him. He could feel that heat; that incredible feeling of their jean-covered bulges pressed against each other. It was too late to back out now; he wanted this to be something Luke remembered for the rest of his life. When it was over there would be no doubt in Luke’s mind who was allowed to touch him.
There was more kissing and biting as he traveled down Luke’s jaw line. He stopped at his neck and began to lick and suck on the skin. He was going to leave a mark, and he didn’t care. He wanted everyone to know that Luke was taken. Noah wanted him to wear the hickey like a name tag; DON’T TOUCH: Property of Noah Mayer.
Luke’s hands slipping beneath his shirt sent a shiver up his spine. He could feel those nails biting into his back as he shifted, his hardness rubbing against Luke’s. The moan that escaped Luke’s mouth was enough reason to continue what he was doing. Their foreheads touched as Noah continued to grind, his mouth open wide, his breathing labored. The fact that Luke’s breathing was just as rapid urged him on. He loved being this close to him, he felt like they were sharing the same breath.
When he felt Luke’s fingers in his hair he wanted to moan. The other boy pulled him closer, tugging on the strands, sending another shiver through him.
"Fucking kiss me Noah" Luke demanded breathlessly. Noah captured Luke’s bottom lip between his teeth and tugged slightly making the younger boy moan and whine at the same time. He couldn’t take it anymore, he wanted a kiss just as badly as Luke did, and finally he gave in to what they both wanted. His tongue darted inside that delectable mouth, briefly brushing Luke’s before fleeing back into his mouth. Luke’s tongue followed only to be captured by Noah’s teeth.
For a moment he kept it there, making circles around the tip, listening to the appreciative sighs emitting from the younger boy’s throat. It wasn’t long before the tongue tug of war became a full blown kiss and Luke’ was practically crushed against the counter.
"Ungh" Luke gasped when the kiss was broken. Noah just smiled, he loved being in control like this, loved that Luke was putty in his hands. Effortlessly he grabbed Luke’s bottom and lifted Luke off the grown, leaving him with only two choices for his dangling feet. Fall or latch onto Noah. It wasn’t long before those legs were wrapped around Noah’s middle and the two of them were caught up in another deep kiss accompanied by Noah thrusting upward.
All he wanted, all he could think about was being naked with Luke. His world was spinning out of control and this was the only thing that made sense this was how things were supposed to be, him and Luke here in this moment, with him poised to claim. He was supposed to be inside Luke, and he wanted that so bad that his bulge was about ready to burst through his jeans..
He yanked at Luke’s shirt with his fists, ripping the fabric as he fought to remove it from the body he craved. His pulled away from the kiss long enough to get the shirt over Luke’s head. With help from Luke he removed his own shirt before taking possession once more of Luke’s mouth.
He didn’t know which was better, the feel of Luke’s bare chest or the intoxicating kiss that was about to drive him up the wall. When Luke’s hand tugged on his waistband pulling them even closer, he figured it was a combination of all three. The sensations running through him were almost his undoing. He had thought having his foot pressed against Luke was amazing. It was nothing however compared to having that straining bulge pressed against his own taut erection.
It was a feeling like no other…it was perfection.
He was going to snap. It was only matter of time, and he knew it as he felt his belt give in to Luke’s tugging. Yet there was something he needed to do, before this went too far.
“Luke,” he said his breath catching as one solitary finger touched his bare skin. “Luke, look at me.”
The eyes that looked up at him were a delicate mixture of certainty and lust.
“Do you want to stop?” he asked trying to keep a handle on that last thread of control. He had to, at least for the moment. “If you want me to stop, you better tell me Luke,” he said his voice becoming huskier with every word. “I’m warning you now; I won’t be able to stop myself later.”
For a long moment the only sound was that of their breathing. Luke was trying to catch his breath before he could answer the question he had put forth. He hoped there would be an answer soon. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold back.
"Keep going, Noah,” he gasped. “You said I belong to you…make me yours.”
"Is that what you want Luciano? To be made mine?"
He didn’t allow Luke a chance to answer that question. He saw the look of desire in those eyes and another strand of control broke. He attached Luke’s mouth with a hunger unmatched by anything. Kissing Luke was becoming like breathing for him. He never wanted to stop.
They needed to move. The rational part of his brain screamed at him, telling him that their first time shouldn’t be with Luke pressed up against the kitchen counter.
Logic was not going to win out on this night however. Not when another part of his body, the part Luke’s hand was slowly inching towards was in charge. There was no way he was moving, not when Luke’s hand was slipping inside his jeans. Had he unbuttoned them, or had Luke? Noah’s brain was becoming more addled as Luke inched his hand closer and closer until he felt warm fingers around his erect penis He had to bite his lip to keep from coming on the spot.
He raked his fingers down Luke's bare back, his hands slipping into Luke’s jeans to grab his ass through his boxers. Slowly he allowed the younger man’s feet to touch the floor and locked eyes with that intense gaze. His eyes were focused on the prize as he unbuttoned and unzipped those jeans. Clothes were cumbersome things and they were in the way. Soon Luke’s jeans were a puddle at his feet, and Noah kneeled down to help him out of them. Eye contact was never broken Noah slipped the boxers down slowly, until his hardness came into view. Luke kicked the boxers out of the way, proving he was just as much in a hurry as Noah.
He realized as he stared at the wonder that was Luke; that he was at a loss. Part of him wanted to stand up and plunge himself deep inside of Luke, possessing him once and for all. But at the same time, he was this close, just inches away from a feast he had to try. And Luke was looking at him, those eyes still full of so much desire and lust. Slowly he lowered his eyes, breaking the hold Luke had over him just for a moment. His gaze traveled down that lean body until he was focused on Luke’s, hard, twitching member.
He had never done this before, so he was a little nervous. It was a moment before instinct took over and he inched his face closer to lick at the tip. Luke’s gasp was very encouraging and Noah repeated the action several times. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Luke grab the counter behind him and surmised he was doing something right.
His tongue was in control, tracing the head a few more times before he took Luke completely into his mouth. He heard the other boy moan his approval, and felt fingers pulling at his hair. Noah was entranced by his taste. Slowly he moved his tongue from base to tip and begin a light suction. He bobbed his head a few times, liking the way it felt.
"Christ, Noah," Luke said above him. "Fucking good. But...unless you want me to come like this you...better...stop."
With great reluctance he pulled away, standing to lock lips with Luke once more, all the while pushing his own boxers down. “You’re never going to forget that you’re mine, Luke…never.” He declared pressing their bodies together. “I don’t ever want to see another man touch you again.” Once again he lifted Luke up, this time sitting him on the counter. There was nervousness in Luke’s gaze, but he didn’t make a move to stop him.
Noah raised a hand to Luke’s mouth and traced his lips with his index finger. He thought he would crumble when Luke’s mouth opened and closed around his finger, sucking lightly. He couldn’t remember ever experiencing something so erotic. It was a feeling he felt from his finger, to his pulsing organ and down to his curling toes.
He tried steadying his breath as Luke continued his suction, those eyes boring into him, seeing right into his soul. Luke was surely going to be the death of him, he knew that, he accepted it, and he wanted that to be the case. It was a clear thought…right here in this moment was all he wanted…all he really needed.
“I’m giving you one last chance to back out,” he said when Luke let his fingers go. He was looking straight into Luke’s eyes, though his hands had disappeared from sight. “I’ll stop...”
Luke touched his lips with a finger, silencing him. “If I was going to back out- I would have done so before now,” he said his voice sounding incredibly sexy to Noah. “Now stop talking.”
That was all the response he needed. Ever so slowly he inched his slippery finger into Luke’s entrance causing him to cry out and latch onto Noah’s sounders. He took his free hand and placed it on the other man’s back rubbing small soothing circles. His finger slid completely inside, and it felt marvelous. Of all the crazy things Noah thought he would be jealous of, his finger hadn’t been one of them. But he was. Luke was so tight and he wanted to feel that hotness surrounding him.
Luke gasped and Noah looked up to see if he was okay. The look on Luke’s face confused him. Hadn’t he done this before? With Randy? Unless the tables had been turned, Luke had been the aggressor? Suddenly the thought of Luke inside him made him shudder. One day, that would be the case, but today he was doing the claiming.
He bent his neck to kiss Luke as he pushed a second finger inside him. God he was tight. Noah didn't want to hurt him, though at this point it seemed inevitable that he would. He tried his best to get Luke as ready as possible with his fingers. He pushed the fingers in and out of Luke, the same way his lower half wished it was doing…what it would be doing soon.
Luke was making appreciative noises and it was becoming increasingly harder for Noah to keep himself in check. Every moan, every gasp only served to push him closer to the edge. He started scissoring his fingers and suddenly his fingertip touched something in Luke that made the smaller man throw his head back and whimper.
"Now Noah....I want you"
He didn’t need to be asked twice. He removed his fingers, making Luke groan, and started looking about the kitchen for something to use as lubricant. He heard Luke spit into his hand and then felt that hand on his cock. Again he had to bite his lip not to come on the spot. Luke's hand moved up and down him fast. Their foreheads touched as they both stared at down at Luke’s hand on him. It was so intensely erotic watching Lukes hand move on him.
Satisfied he was slick enough, and not wanting things to be over before anything really happened- Noah grabbed Luke’s hand and removed it from his cock. He looked up at Luke’s face and saw the man swallow hard. If Noah didn’t know any better, he would have thought Luke was trying to calm his nerves. Those beautiful blue eyes seemed to be saying a thousand things at once.
He couldn’t resist the urge to kiss him again. His lips pressed down onto Luke’s and he didn’t wait for him to open his mouth. This time he just forced his tongue in. Their tongues massaged against each other and Noah’s hands found their way to Luke's hips.
He scooted Luke to where he was almost off the counter and broke the kiss. Luke nodded his head and swung his legs around Noah’s waist. Noah could hardly breathe as he positioned himself at Lukes entrance. He bit at his lower lip as he slowly pushed the head of his cock inside of Luke.
It was only part of himself in Luke, and Noah already felt more pleasure then he had ever felt in his whole life. Luke gasped and muttered a barely audible grunt as his fingers found their way to Noah’s shoulders. Slowly he pushed more of himself inside Luke stopping only when he was in to the hilt.
He didn’t move at first, he couldn’t. He needed to give his body time to adjust to the feelings, the sensations shooting through him. The last thing he wanted to do was embarrass himself by coming too soon. Besides that he wanted to give Luke time to adjust as well.
“Look at me, Noah,” he heard Luke say even as a hand moved to lift up his chin. He met his eyes for just a moment before dipping his head for another kiss.
He moved slowly at first, pulling in and out of Luke as if he needed to familiarize himself-tried to memorize every single sensation he was experiencing. He withdrew almost completely before going back in to the hilt. Luke babbled inherently, and it sounded like music to Noah’s ears.
It was symphony of moans and sighs. “Noah…please…don’t stop…gasp…Noah…don’t stop…” Noah didn’t think he’d ever tire of the sounds. It gave him such a sense of awe to know that he was giving Luke so much pleasure.
He wanted to stay like this forever, just buried inside the one he knew he was meant to be with. He knew that wasn’t possible though. It was ending fast, Luke was so impossibly tight and he was moving and he arched his hips trying to take in as much as he could of Noah. Every moan every pant pushed him closer to the edger. He was about ready to burst.
He reached down to grab a hold of Luke and started moving his hand in time with his thrusts. Both started slowly but he soon picked up speed going faster and faster. Each time he pulled slightly out just to slam back in a second later. He was about ready to burst, but he couldn’t…not until he had sent Luke…his lover over the edge first.
He tilted his head down and licked at Luke’s bottom lip before swiping his thumb over the head of Luke's cock. Luke cried out "O My God Noah I am gonna...."
He exploded quick, and fast, coating Noah’s hand with a sticky white substance. The orgasm had barely finished before his body began tightening up all over again, therefore encasing Noah in the warmth. Noah pushed himself into Luke one more time and came inside his lover as he groaned and took Luke’s mouth once more, holding him as thier bodies shaked with aftershocks.
*
If Noah had to name the single most incredible experience in his life, it would be this moment. Here he was, lying beside the one person who meant the most to him, his lover…Luke. The younger man was wrapped in his embrace, and they were lying together on the kitchen floor of the Snyder farm. Luke’s eyes were closed, and Noah took this moment to marvel in how beautiful he was. It amazed him really just how drawn to this man he really was. There was nothing he didn’t like about Luke. Hell he even loved when Luke yelled at him!
Just thinking about that made him smile. He knew on one level he shouldn’t be happy about this. He was doing something wrong, and his father would kill him if he had any idea. But this was what he had wanted. This, Luke was all he ever wanted, and that was important. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and sighed. He didn’t want to think about anything but the here and now. He was still deep inside that exquisite body and he wanted to wake Luke with a kiss.
He stroked the soft blond hair that covered Luke’s face. He kisses those full lips and smiled when the perfect eyelashes drifted open.
“Hi,” Luke said his voice still husky from a mixture of lovemaking and sleep. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” He apologized.
“I like watching you sleep,” Noah replied kissing Luke once again. This kiss was deeper, and full of a passion that surpassed any embrace they had experienced to date. “Did you fall asleep after you and Randy were together?” he asked, his hand lazily tracing circles on Luke’s chest.
When he felt Luke’s body tense he wondered if it had been smart to bring up Randy. In his mind he began to panic, trying to figure out how to turn things around. Things had been so perfect, so wonderful. And just as always he had screwed it up carelessly. His heart sank when Luke’s hand took a hold of his and moved it off his chest. It was only a matter of time now before he was kicked out of the house and then he’d never see Luke again.
“Noah,” he heard Luke’s voice but it sounded so far away. Why was that when they were right beside each other? “Noah, please,” Luke said again, this time squeezing his hand as he did so. “Look at me, I have something to tell you.”
He heard the words somewhere through the fog and forced himself to turn. He was somewhat surprised to see that Luke was not angry, not even close. There was nothing in those eyes but honesty and…love. He allowed himself to relax and waited patiently to hear what his lover had to say.
“About Randy,” Luke said, his voice so soft that Noah almost didn’t hear him.
“We don’t have to talk about him,” Noah interrupted. He didn’t want to hear anything about that man ever again. Actually if he thought he could get away with it he would make sure that Randy didn’t have a job at WOAK. But he knew that wasn’t possible.
He could tell by the look in Luke’s eyes that he wasn’t going to let this go. “No,” he said, his voice still soft.
“No what?” Noah asked confused. Luke’s gaze was so intense that he found himself getting lost in it.
“I didn’t fall asleep,” he confessed, his free hand caressing Noah’s cheek, “after Randy and I were together, because we were never together, Noah. I never slept with Randy.”
“But you said you guys were getting close,” Noah stammered, realizing too late how silly that sounded. He wished at that moment that there was a rewind button. He would be able to come up with something clever to say. He shook his head and sighed. He reached up, took Luke’s hand into his own and kissed the knuckle. “I’m sorry.”
Luke smiled, and Noah thought he would melt right there. Luke’s smile always did have that power over him. “I thought you’d be happy? I mean after all, you got what you wanted, didn’t you?”
Noah opened his mouth to speak, but words seemed to escape him at the moment. The levity of the conversation was just now hitting him. If he never slept with the intern then….
“I am happy, Luke,” he said finding his voice. “I just, if I would have known then tonight…”
“No regrets, Noah.” Once again his voice was soft and Noah marveled at how easy it was for him to do that. Was there anything he didn’t love about Luke? “You were my first, and I wouldn’t change anything about tonight, it was perfect.”
He wrapped his arms tighter around Luke and locked gazes with him. “You are perfect Luke, and I meant what I said earlier.”
“Did you?” Luke asked. Two simple words, spoken with such conviction, he didn’t know what to expect next. Were things about to go from hot to cold? Even as he asked himself that question Luke pulled away and turned to look at him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, hearing the panic in his own voice. He was beginning to think that no matter what he said he would upset Luke someway. Maybe it would be better if he never spoke. Perhaps they shouldn’t have started this discussion? Why had he mentioned Randy in the first place?
“We can’t keep doing this Noah.”
“I don’t think I get what you mean", Noah said as the dread crept it’s way into his heart. This wasn’t happening. He couldn’t lose this, not the only thing that truly made any sense. Not when he had finally accepted that his attraction to this man for what is was. “Luke…” he said trying to figure out what exactly he wanted to say, but the other boy shook his head, a clear sign that he wasn’t finished.
“No, Noah, you need to listen to me. I’m so conflicted right now, that you couldn’t even begin to understand. What we just shared…it was incredible, and I don’t want to take it back. I want this…I want us but I don’t know what you want.”
Luke turned away then and Noah sighed. It was inevitable, and he should have known it was coming. Reality was crashing down on them with rapid speed, and he didn’t know what to do. Or did he? This…what was going on right this second was right. He belonged here with Luke and that was where he wanted to be…but he was scared. That was what it all boiled down to. He was afraid to take that leap.
“My heart is yours, Noah,” Luke’s voice pulled him back from the abyss once more. “It always has belonged to you, but I can’t keep playing these games. That hurts too much because I know how I feel about you.”
It was the sincerity in those eyes that did Noah in. Luke had turned to face him again and there was so much emotion there. He just wanted to reach out and pull Luke close again, to tell him that he felt the same way. He knew how he felt about Luke, he knew what he was doing was wrong. He even knew that his love was right. He did have to make a choice…it was in his hands.
“Luke, I don’t know what to say…” It was lame, he knew but it was all he could think of. “Tell me what I can do, what do you need me to do.”
“My heart is yours, Noah,” he repeated, his voice husky. “I belong to you, I love you. What you have to decide is if you really want this…if you want me…us. I gave myself to you tonight; I need to know if you can give yourself to me and just me.
Silence; as thick as a blanket, hung over the room after those words. The ball was in his court and he didn’t have a lot of time to think about it. The fact that Luke laid all the cards on the table like that only made him more desirable. How could he possibly lose what he had found here. Not that he wanted to hurt anyone. He realized though that it was too late for that.
The shrill ringing of the telephone sounded especially loud in the quiet. He heard Luke let out an audible sigh as he sat up to search out his phone. As luck would have it, the phone was lying a few feet away. Noah hid a smile as he realized the phone must have fallen while they were otherwise engaged.
“Hello.” To Noah’s ears, Luke sounded slightly annoyed. He could admit that he was too. Why did someone have to interrupt them at that precise moment? “Oh,” Luke said into the phone even as he turned to face him. “Hi Randy.