miracle (miracle) wrote in luke_noah, @ 2008-11-23 20:43:00 |
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Current mood: | relaxed |
Current music: | AMA Awards show |
Fic: Losing Control
Original poster: greyhound798
*Day Five* Text messaging …Jake’s new best friend. And there it goes….right on time. Jake resembled Pavlov’s dog. Every damn time the message tone beeped, his cock was at the ready, even if it wasn’t Van. Laughing, he checked the text and groaned. It was his dad. Oh shit! He forgot he was supposed to meet him in the gym before dinner. “where r u? forgot didn’t u?” Sighing, Jake had no desire to work out but Goutman’s words stuck in his head. And his health nut dad loved this bonding time with his son so Jake didn’t have the heart to refuse him. “sorry BRT.” His dad had better not be using this as an opportunity to grill him about his lack of a girlfriend. Last thing he wanted was to spend an hour deflecting attention away from his love life. His dad went about it more subtly than his mom but the result was the same. Maybe his iPod would signal he was not in the mood to talk. Changing into shorts and t-shirt, he stuffed his cell and iPod in his pocket and headed off downstairs. Entering the gym, he noticed it was nearly full. His dad was chatting with a group of fit, tanned older men so he looked around for an empty treadmill. Wouldn’t you know the only empty treadmill was next to the nosiest person on the planet. God damn it. He strolled over, inserting his earphones as a big hint this was going to be a silent workout. Carla was buying none of it. Not breaking stride, she reached over and ripped the buds out of his ears. “Hey! What the hell are you doing?” Jake slapped her hand away. “You were all set to ignore me. Why can’t we talk?” “I don’t feel like talking.” He climbed onto the equipment and concentrated on the control panel. “Come on, Jake. I want to know if I have competition.” “What? Oh good God, I just met you. This is ridiculous. You live in Cali and I live in NYC. It’s not going to happen.” He started keying in his height and weight but his heart wasn’t in it. What he really wanted was to be anywhere but here, preferably in his room jacking off as Van’s sexy hot voice urged him on. “But I want to get to know you better!” she whined. Just then, Jake’s text alert went off. Son of a bitch! He stuck his hand in his pocket and withdrew his cell, ignoring her knowing smirk. Sure enough, Van had texted. “it’s time. where r u?” Oh great. How the hell was he going to extricate himself from this situation? His cock heard the call loud and clear. He couldn’t stay and he couldn’t go. Unfortunately he was so involved in his dilemma he didn’t anticipate the hand that reached in and swiped his phone. Stunned, he froze in place…just long enough for Carla to open his phone and scan his recent calls. Van, Dad, Van, Van, Van, Van, Dad, Mom, Van, Van……………… Suddenly it all became perfectly clear. “Ummm..ok. Why is Van calling you like all the time?” “We’re friends. Now give it back.” “Just friends? Are you kidding me right now? The only calls you’ve gotten are from your parents ….and Van. I’m not that dense. Now I understand why you’re oblivious to all the girls panting after you. It’s him, isn’t it?” “I so do not want to have this conversation with you.” He held out his hand for his phone and walked out. All the way up to his room, his stomach was in knots. Damn it, his secret was starting to unravel. He originally thought this vacation would give him space to think about where his love life was headed. But that went out the window when he and Van finally broke down and admitted their feelings for each other right before he left. He smiled, thinking now it was more a matter of where did he want them to go from here. The ball was in his court and like a selfish little kid, he did not want to give it up. On one hand, he wanted to keep Van close, safe from public scrutiny. But on the other, it wasn’t fair to Van or himself to keep their love and relationship a secret. As he unlocked the door, his cell rang. It was Van, probably worrying because he was not answering the phone. “Hey.” “Hey. You sound awful. Are you OK?” Van’s nervousness made his voice rise. “Well no…not OK. This girl I just met grabbed my phone and saw that you were the one calling me all those times when she assumed it was my girlfriend.” “Oh my God. She didn’t see the texts, did she? That would be beyond embarrassing.” “No! But I left her standing there. I didn’t know what else to do.” “You could have told her the truth.” Van sighed sadly. “I know! Don’t you think I wanted to? ” Ashamed, Jake started to tear up. “I should have said ‘Yes, it’s Van’. What the fuck is wrong with me? I love you. And I miss you so damn much, it’s killing me.” Van’s quiet broken sobs drifted to his ears. Jake’s heart ached even more, knowing Van was alone and crying. “Baby, don’t cry. I’ll fix it. I promise. I’ll tell my parents tonight.” Frantic, but full of resolve, Jake struggled to re-assure his lover. He could hear the sobbing taper off to sniffles. When Van could speak, he whispered “I love you so so much, Jake. But it’s a huge step and once you tell them, you can’t take it back.” “Van, the step was taken that day, in our dressing room. I want to move forward with you and it’s time my family knows.” “Call me after?” “Are you kidding? I won’t be able to fall asleep anymore unless I hear your voice. Although I could always play back your video message a couple of hundred times and jerk off.” Jake could hear Van snorting and giggling, the sound making his heart happy. “Yeah. I’ve never done anything remotely like that. Maybe you should delete it before your stalker gets hold of it. You’ll have lots of ‘splainin’ to do.” His Ricky Ricardo imitation was spot on and Jake snickered. “I’ll call you later?” “Ok. Bye. And Jake? If it gets tough, just remember how much I love you.” “Same here, baby.” He hung up, the knot in his stomach slowly disappearing. The unraveling of his secret forced Jake to admit he in fact wanted his parents to know… that he was gay…that he loved Van. He felt proud of that love and of his relationship with Van as he pocketed his room key and headed to the dining room. Downstairs, his parents waited patiently for him, talking quietly about their day. By the time Jake appeared, questions were flying. “What took you so long?” His dad looked puzzled. “Jake, honey, you’re a half-hour late. That’s not like you.” His mom patted his arm and kissed him on the cheek. “Sorry guys. I couldn’t decide what to wear.” His dad chuckled at his excuse. “You’re joking. Since when does planning your wardrobe take up any of your time at all?” The waiter hovered in the background, prepared to take their order. They had had plenty of time to decide so his mom and dad ordered as he glanced at the menu. Jake picked the first thing listed, not caring because he had more important things on his mind. Taking a calm and deep breath he began to ask for his parent’s attention when his mom cut in. “Jake, are you having any fun on this vacation? I haven’t seen you really mingling with any of the young people on the island. I’ve seen a few girls hovering, including that pretty blonde that has been following you around.” Jake made a face. “You don’t even seem to give them a second glance.” He gave his mom an unenthusiastic apology. “I’m pretty pre-occupied with work. Van and I have some key scenes next week.” Disappointed, she sighed. “A vacation is supposed to be relaxing. You can worry about work in a couple of days. Go dancing! Laugh! At least look happy!” Jake gritted his teeth. There was no getting around it. The pretending had to stop, here and now. It was time to tell them he was happy, deliriously happy, with Van. “I need to talk to you. I’ve been putting it off until we get home but today I decided it’s not fair for you to be in the dark.” His mother instantly panicked. “What’s wrong? Are you sick? You’ve been getting too thin. You’re not anorexic, are you? Oh my God! They told you to lose weight, didn’t they? And now you have an eating disorder!” “Mom! Stop. I don’t have an eating disorder. I’m fine. In fact, I’ve never been more happy and contented since…well….since I can remember.” Wow, this was going to be harder than he thought. “I have lost some weight, not a big deal. I’ve been struggling with a personal issue. Now that I’ve come to terms with it, it’s time you should know.” Focusing on his parents, he tried to explain quickly, figuring he would never make it through a long, drawn-out monologue. “For a while now, I’ve been trying to sort out who I am and what I want out of life. My storyline on the show has opened my eyes to some very important facts. I need to be true to myself and live my life as honestly as I can. I thought about the future, where I want to be a few years down the road. And now that I have worked it all out in my head and in my heart I can’t wait to share the details with you both.” He smiled proudly and with out a hint of reservation he simply stated the truth. “I’m gay.” Complete and utter silence reigned at the table. “And I’m in love. With a fantastic guy. And I’m thrilled to say he loves me back.” “It’s Van.” His parents sat, disbelieving, shaken down to their core. Jake really and truly felt bad for them. Before he gave either one of them a chance to say a word, he continued. “I know what you’re thinking. It’ll be bad for my career. People will judge me. You know what? Let them. It’ll be their problem. I’m not going to lie about who I am. But more importantly, my lying would be unfair to Van. He deserves a partner who is his equal and I want nothing more in my life than to be that guy. I’m lucky because I get to be that guy! He spied his parents taking each others’ hand and holding on for dear life. He realized he’d most likely blown all their hopes and dreams for him right out of the water. But once the shock wore off, they would understand the big wedding, the real family and the grandbabies they wished for could still be a part of his future, just in a different way. His dad cleared his throat. “Jake, son, are you sure?” Without hesitation, he firmly and clearly stated his answer. “Positive.” “When did you come to this realization? We had no idea you were struggling with such a huge issue. Lately, you’ve been withdrawn and I have to tell you, your mother and I have been worried. We thought this vacation would be good for you, a chance to meet new people, to relax and do nothing. And did you know Van called us and asked if we knew what was bothering you? Obviously, you kept him in the dark too. We had hoped you would be comfortable enough to confide in us but when that never happened, we just tried to be patient. Maybe you should go talk to someone, just to be on the safe side. An objective person can make you see things more clearly.” “More clearly? Dad, it doesn’t get any clearer than “I’m gay” and if you think some shrink is going to fix this, it doesn’t work that way.” Jake shook his head. “I’ve been wondering for years why I feel more comfortable having girls as best friends instead of girlfriends. And then I met Van; and as I got to know him I began to know myself as well. I realized what was missing from my life, from my heart all those years. We have a connection that goes beyond friendship. We…fit. Like two pieces of a puzzle. I feel complete when I’m with him. Nothing else compares. I can’t, I mean I won’t go back to way I felt before he came into my life.” Both parents stared, comprehension dawning. This was not a quick, irrational decision on Jake’s part. They should have known he would weigh the pros and cons, gather facts, methodically and rationally work through the problem until he came to a logical conclusion. “If you need time to process this, I totally understand.” An ironic smile appeared for a brief second. “After all, look how long it took me to figure it out.” “Jake, it will take a lot of getting used to. I won’t lie. But we love you and nothing can change that.” His dad paused. “But get used to it, we will. Your mother and I are behind you one hundred percent. Nothing will ever change that.” Silently crying, his mom reached out and pulled Jake close. “I only want you to be happy and if Van makes you happy, that’s all that matters. He’s a beautiful person and we already love him dearly. Make sure you tell him that.” Jake was so overwhelmed with relief, he felt as though his heart would burst. His family rocked! Now that his parents were on board, he could not wait to share this good news with Van. He felt ready to shout it to the world. “If you don’t mind, I need to call Van. He was so worried how this would affect us so I can’t wait to tell him how much the both of you love me, him…the two of us together. You cannot possibly know how happy you’ve made me.” “Of course! Give him our love and tell him we’ll have him over for dinner when we get back.” His mom hugged him once more, moving aside as his dad reached in and shook his hand. “That took a lot of guts. I can’t tell you how proud I am that you are my son.” “Thanks. You are the best parents in the world.” >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Back in his room, he hurriedly hit speed dial, having to wait all of two seconds before Van picked up. “God, Jake! I’ve been fucking going crazy here waiting! What happened?” “It’s all good. Better than good. They were completely great about it. And as soon as we get home, you’re invited to dinner. Oh and my mom sends her love. You had it anyway.” Jake felt Van’s smile, heard his soft laugh. “Oh my God, that’s amazing! So when are you coming home?” “Not soon enough, babe.” *Day Six* Jake crammed all the last minute tourist attractions he could fit into this final day of vacation. The absence of that stifling, heavy cloak of secrecy made him feel a hundred pounds lighter. Another absence he felt was Van’s text messages. It was late afternoon and not one beep. Jake flipped open his phone and punched in a text message. “I miss u. why didn’t u call?” No answer. Wow, unusual. He waited a few more minutes then gave up. It was time for his massage, one last treat before going back home. At dinner, his parents asked about Van and what he thought about Jake coming out. “He’s ecstatic. I know it was tearing him up waiting at home while I was going through such a major moment here.” Suddenly, his text message alert rang out. “That’s Van. Excuse me for a minute. I haven’t talked to him all day.” The message was straight to the point. “miss u. luv u. need u.” Jake smiled, a huge grin transforming his face to a man in love. His parents marveled at the sight. Shaking their heads, they wondered why they never had a clue when it was so noticeable Jake and Van had a special bond. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to head up to my room.” “Sure, go ahead. Don’t mind us old people.” Before his dad could get the words out of his mouth, Jake was gone. >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Slipping his key into the lock, he pushed into the room and hit the send button on his cell. “Hey. “Hey yourself.” “I’ve been lying here waiting, to whisper sweet nothings in your ear, to hear you scream my name when you come…..” “What are you talking about? I don’t scream when I come.” Do I? “Oh but you will…just you wait and see….” “Right now I’ll settle for a quickie. I’m horny as hell so what are you going to do about it?” “Well first you’re going to rub your cock through your shorts until it’s nice and hard…..” “Don’t need to….already hard.” “Do it anyway and imagine it’s my hand rubbing you…..squeezing…my mouth circling…your dick.” Low moans rent the air as Jake followed Van’s directions. “You’re going to be the death of me…if I don’t get arrested first.” He panted faster, keeping time with his slippery fist. “I can hear you….your fist…makes that sucking sound…go slower…don’t want it to be over yet.” In spite of the fast pace, Van kept up stroke for stroke and all too soon, his orgasm was bearing down on him. “Jake….I’m…..” “…I know….I can hear you….and I am ….too…fuck.” He choked out the words as he pumped sticky come onto flat, washboard abs. And all over his good shorts. Shit. Looking around for a towel, he had to settle for using the t-shirt he had worn to the gym. Completely worn out, he lay flat on the bed. “God I’m exhausted…I need a vacation.” Van giggled uncontrollably. “Forget it buddy. I want you to come home.” “I am. Tomorrow.” “I’ll meet you at the airport.” “Will you stay with me?” “Uhh..I will…but Jake?” “I don’t like the sound of this.” “The love scene shoots on Tuesday.” “Oh what the fuck!” *Day Seven* His cell buzzed first then rang…good thing because he never would have heard the tone if his thigh wasn’t vibrating along with it. Cupping his hand over the phone, he whispered “Oh my God…Van…I can’t…I’m at the fucking airport…..stop it!” “What? I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and to wish you a safe flight.” Van snickered. “Why do you always assume the worst, or lucky for you, the best for that matter?” “You are the biggest instigator I know. Don’t act all sweet and innocent.” “Hell no. I am not sweet and innocent. As a matter of fact, I’m bad, so so bad that I may very well need a spanking. And you’re just the man I want to give it to me.” “I’m there.” “Promise?”
Title: Losing Control
Chapter 5b
Author: greyhound798
Rating: NC17 again and again
Pairing: Jake, Van
Word count: 3230
Summary: Flashback...Jake is on his vacation and Van is a long distance participant....
Notes: I do not own Van and Jake. They belong to themselves. Complete and absolute fabrication, never happened, never will happen. All mistakes are my own. Much love to barbaragail who takes this beta thing very seriously. I love all her suggestions, her schmoop to go along with my ...vivid imagination. This is the longest chapter I've ever written...blame Van...he just wouldn't leave Jake alone! OK now I had to split this into two parts. It wouldn't post because it was too big...???
Comments are much appreciated.