miracle (miracle) wrote in luke_noah, @ 2008-10-19 00:20:00 |
|
|||
Current location: | my kitchen |
Current mood: | optimistic |
Entry tags: | -[jake/van]-, fanfic, fanfic: [rpf], fanfic: rating: mature, ยป by: greyhound798 |
Fic: Losing Control
Original poster: greyhound798
Title: Losing Control
Chapter 3
Author: greyhound798
Rating: NC17 baby!
Pairing: Jake, Van
Word count: 3115
Summary: Flashback...Van and Jake....lose control....nuff said.
Notes: I do not own Van and Jake. Complete fabrication, never happened. All mistakes are my own. Many thanks to my new betabarbaragail ! I am so grateful that you offered to help.
Van froze. The moment was fragile as glass and he was afraid it would shatter, taking his heart along with it. Carefully, he gave Jake a tentative smile and murmured, “So...the kiss…it was good?”
Scorched….dazed….confused, Jake blinked and quickly covered.
“Fuck, Van. Good? It was better than good! And your face! That look radiating off your face is pure gold. I don’t know who you’re thinking of but damn, it was hot….”
“Well….yeah….I…” Words stalled, dying in Van’s throat. He carefully rose up on his knees and elbows; prayed Jake was oblivious to the weight of an oh-so-very erect cock against his crotch.
No such luck as Jake felt the hot pressure drag across his hip. Eyes going wide, he looked down and then up into Van’s panicked gaze.
“Oh shit oh shit oh shit!” Van breathed. “I’m sorry. I tried but I couldn’t stop it.”
Jake groaned and threw his arm over stunned eyes. “I told you. Didn’t I tell you this would happen? See? It’s involuntary. Cocks have no discretion and no brains.”
Involuntary, my ass. And Van’s cock had discretion and brains. It only acted this way around Jake. Just Jake.
Van frantically tried to salvage the situation. This frigging rehearsal idea was a mistake that could cost him a very important friendship if he wasn’t careful. Jake was straight, didn’t return his feelings and he would just have to deal with it.
Right now though, Van wanted out. He climbed off Jake, off the bed and walked to the locked door. Turning the knob, Van suddenly felt the urge to bang his thick skull against the hard surface….stupid, stupid, stupid! Instead, he touched forehead to wood, trying to draw strength from the inanimate object. His heart started to fracture, into impossibly tiny pieces, the pain nearly crippling him. Turning to slant Jake one last look, he said a simple “I’m sorry” and walked out.
Jake didn’t know what to make of Van’s behavior. Was he embarrassed because of his hard-on? Big deal. It’s not like it wasn’t a possibility. It dawned on Jake that there was something more to this. He jumped up, rushed to the hall and, not seeing Van, ran down the whole length of the corridor. Where the hell could he have gone? He had a 10 second head start and disappeared already? Looking around, he headed for the make-up room. As he neared the doorway, Van’s voice stopped him in his tracks. Van was talking to their make-up guy instead of talking to him!
“God, Eldo! I’m so fucking stupid. Whatever possessed me to suggest a rehearsal? Now he knows.”
“Knows what?”
Van jumped hearing the rumble of Jake’s words. Groaning, he looked to Eldo for help but his expression screamed “interested spectator here”. Great.
Jake walked into the room and faced his best friend, determined to find out what he was hiding from him.
“Van? What do I know?”
“Uh…nothing?”
“Damn right. I don’t know anything. But you’re going to tell me what it is right now.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t.”
Eldo listened to the conversation ping-pong back and forth between the two men and then found both staring at him.
“I guess you want me to leave?” He cleared his throat and sidled to the door. Torn between giving them their privacy and wanting to hear what was bound to happen next, he hesitated.
“No, we’ll go.” Jake grabbed Van’s hand and pulled him back out into the hall. There was only one place to continue this discussion...in their abandoned dressing room.
“Jake. Let go of me.”
“I will after I get an explanation.”
Their dressing room, with its’ wide open door, loomed up ahead, a confessional, a place where Van would have to own up to his feelings. All these months, his secret was secure but now…he had to decide whether to take a chance and tell Jake the truth. He didn’t broadcast his orientation however Jake quickly discovered girls didn’t do it for Van. His co-star accepted this fact and it didn’t stop them from becoming fast friends. If anything, they ended up closer because of it. Jake the Protector, always checking to make sure Van was out of harm’s way and not being hassled. Consequently, their relationship chugged along like a dependable freight train but slowly Van changed and one day he realized Jake was the most important person in his life. Van knew it was wrong to think about him that way but when he tried to push these feelings back into their neat little box, they were so big they no longer fit. He fell and he fell hard. He loved Jake.
“Well? I’m waiting.”
Jake was running out of patience. Sighing, Van accepted there comes a time when you reach a fork in the road and the path you take changes your life forever. And, for him, this was it. Once he expressed these feelings, there was no going back. He was deathly afraid of making a mistake but after his embarrassing performance earlier, it was senseless to deny his attraction to Jake. Van prepared for the inevitable, gathered the courage to tell him he liked him like that. Taking a deep breath, he spoke.
“Jake, I have a confession to make. And I know you can’t reciprocate and it’s OK, really it is. So…well…I…”
Jake had never seen Van this nervous, not even when Van confirmed to him he was gay. And then it all clicked into place. That’s it. Shit, holy motherfucker! Van? And him?
“Van, never mind, stop! Don’t say another word. You’re all stressed out. It’s fine. Let’s forget all this bullshit and go back to being Van and Jake.” Because I’m not ready to be Van and Jake…like that.
Sadly, Van shook his head. “It’s too late…I can’t do this anymore. It’s tearing me up inside and the only way to fix it is to come right out and say it.” Van stepped up to cradle his face, thumbs rubbing cheeks. The look he gave Jake was love.
Jake’s heart sped up….cold sweat popped out…oh my God…I’m having a fucking a heart attack here!
“The day you auditioned, somehow I knew my life would never be the same. I had been searching for you only I didn’t know it until you walked in that room. We just clicked. We…fit. It was scary because I hadn’t found that bond with anyone else. But I let myself get too involved and now I’m screwed.”
“What do you mean you’re screwed?” Jake managed to croak out a few words.
“I’ve fallen in love with my straight best friend who is also my co-star.” Van laughed, sounding more like a sob. “I broke two of my personal rules in one fell swoop. And now I’m paying the price. I can’t do my job because my feelings for you are getting in the way and since you’re straight, I have no chance that you’ll love me back.” He dropped his hands, despair replacing the love, taking over his whole spirit.
Noticing tears leaking from the corner of Van’s eyes, Jake reached for some tissues and offered them up. After wiping the wetness away, Van sighed brokenly. “The way you kissed me, I just gave in to it. And maybe a little part of me hoped it was real. But I know it’s not. I’ll get past it; I just need some time alone.”
‘I’m not leaving you when you’re like this. What kind of friend would I be?”
“Jake, I can’t be around you right now. I need to think. I fell apart just rehearsing that little bit. How am I going to hold it together long enough to do the love scene? That look on my face? It was as real as it gets. And I don’t want that on film.”
“But why not? That’s what we strive for, isn’t it? Realism? Not to mention it was fucking hot.” Shaking his head, Jake still couldn’t forget the jolt of pure lust when Van had looked at him…like that. And now that he knew the look was aimed at him for real, did he have the guts to follow this path and see where it led?
“Are you kidding me right now? You actually expect me to do that again? Jesus, Jake! Have some compassion here. I’m going to Goutman and convincing him to change the scene.”
“Good luck with that. Aren’t you the one who told me once it’s written, he won’t change it?”
“I don’t care if I piss him off. I’ll insist.”
Jake shuffled in place and, looking at the floor, said “You will piss him off and that’s not what we want here. We finally have the storyline moving in the right direction. I won’t risk it. Let’s just do the scene.”
“I can’t guarantee it won’t happen again.” Because there’s no doubt in my mind it will…again and again.
“What are you talking about? I want it to happen again. That’s the look we need to make the scene work.” I have to know what the hell is going on here.
Van rolled his eyes and cracked a smile. “That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it. The problem’s bigger than that.” Way bigger.
Jake rolled his eyes. “I’m glad you can see the humor here. And I don’t want you to think I’m insensitive to your feelings. But if we’re careful, we can do this. I won’t kiss you like that again.” Unless you want me to.
Hesitantly, Van put his hand on Jake’s arm. He didn’t flinch, which was a good sign. He didn’t know what he would do if their relationship turned awkward because of this stupid crush. Crush? Way more than a crush.
“I’ll try to keep myself under control too. But it’s going to be hard. You’re kind of irresistible. “
“Van! Stop saying shit like that!”
“Why? It’s true. That’s why I’m in this mess.”
Jake groaned. “Please, I’m so not.” But you are ….
“You have no fucking idea how hot you are.” No fucking idea.
Jake whimpered. Very risky, very un-Jake-like visions raced though his head. Sucking…Van’s lips, his tongue, his hard cock………
“Van…please..”
“Please what?”
“Please. You can’t say stuff like that. It’s…it’s…just wrong.” Raking his hands through his hair, he tried to calm this rising tide of hot. He didn’t understand what was happening. Maybe all he needed was a good fuck. “It’s just wrong…” Jake whispered to himself. “Wrong.”
Van warily approached him with a questioning look and carefully asked “What’s wrong?”
“This..” gesturing between the two of them, “Us….has to be, right?” But the stormy blue gaze told a different story.
Van gasped, the implications of his words very clear. Reaching out, he cupped Jake’s cheek and smiled gently. “Why does it have to be? Why can’t we see if maybe it is right?”
Van leaned in and waited, the anticipation leaving him breathless. He needed Jake to make first contact.
Closing the distance, hesitantly at first, because after all this was Van and never in his wildest dreams had he envisioned kissing his co-star/best friend without it being part of a scene, Jake made the move.
Their lips touched…moved...the air crackled….sizzled…and sparked.
Jake slid his fingers into Van’s hair, holding him still as he pushed the tip of his tongue against Van’s lips and whispered.
“Van…let me in…please”
That’s all Van needed to hear as he opened his mouth, felt the hot silky slide of Jake against his tongue.
Jake stroked the wet heat, moaning uncontrollably. His last rational thought was that this had to be a dream, a dream featuring Van sucking his tongue, purring against his lips and…oh God…rubbing his cock, Van’s hand on his ass pulling him closer, closer to the erection waiting for him.
“Oh…God…can’t believe this…I want you.” Confusion reigned in his head but his body was in it for the win. Looking into Van’s eyes, he asked the silent question. He needed this, needed Van, needed to know this was real.
Van was panting…this cannot be fucking real, it just can’t! But his hands were on Jake’s ass, on his cock…and it was hard! ...so hard and Jake was begging for more. If Jake wanted to take this step, Van wanted to be the one to take it with him. No doubt there.
In that split second, the decision was made and there was no going back. Van crushed his mouth on Jake’s, grabbing his head, taking control. And Jake let him. Wet tongues licked and sucked, skin rubbed raw by stubble. They began sloppily grinding against each other, no technique whatsoever but it didn’t matter. The sensation was so intense, Van pulled away to take a breath.
“Don’t stop….it feels so fucking good….Van….come here!”
Jake was a whiner. Who knew? Van chuckled a little to himself. Seems he didn’t know everything about Jake after all. But right now, this minute, Jake had a stiff one…for him …and he was not going to walk away from this opportunity.
His shirt was ripped away, Jake’s next and then Van was sliding hot little hands under his color-coordinated t-shirt. Lifting it slowly, Van ran his fingers over the muscled stomach. Oh my God…perfection. The t-shirt made it as far as Jake’s wrists before Van twisted it, trapping his hands in the soft cotton. Holding Jake’s bound hands above his head, he licked and sucked and bit his way down, from neck to nipples to the top button of his jeans. Van looked up and saw Jake watching him with hooded eyes, arousal painting his face with hot pink colors.
“Your mouth is fucking unbelievable….so hot….God damn it….I’m too fucking close…..you have to stop.”
Van was afraid if he stopped, this moment would vanish. But he slowly let Jake’s arms down, untangling his hands. As soon as he was free, Jake grabbed Van by the back of the neck, fingers digging in as he made that sound, the one that started this whole sequence of events. Van almost fainted. Never mind fainted…he almost came from the sound alone. As Jake looked down past the soft dusting of pale blond hair, Van popped the top button of his jeans and the sound of metal teeth unzipping filled the room. His habit of going commando was never more useful than at this very second. Jeans open and swollen cock in full view, he held his breath and waited.
Jake reached out and slid one hand inside, touching, rubbing, leisurely stroking….and fucking moaning…that sound. Van thrust into that hand, now wet and slippery because, face it, he was so turned on he was dripping. He wiggled out of his jeans, frantically thinking what he really needed was a naked Jake. Van reached over to Jake’s waist, unbuttoned and unzipped and oh. my. God. his knuckles were brushing a long throbbing heat that went on forever. Two steps brought them to the only horizontal surface in the room, Jake on his back, Van standing over him, his dick missing the strength of Jake’s hand.
Slipping his hands under the waistband of Jake’s boxers, Van drawled, “I forgot these.” Down and off they came. Van sucked in a breath, as Jake lay in front of him, bare-ass naked, hot and willing. Crawling up, he trailed his fingers along the rock hard shaft, seeing the wetness dripping down, his tongue wanting to taste.
“Ahh fuck….” Jake looked down at Van’s open mouth, an inch away from the shiny tip of his cock, knowing he didn’t stand a chance.
Van wasn’t holding back any longer. He licked the head, swirling his tongue up and over before taking him in his mouth. Jake slid his fingers into the blond hair, feeling it graze over his stomach. The feel of Van’s tongue massaging his dick made him see stars, frigging blinding bursts of light behind his closed lids. So this is what I was missing. So different, being with a guy, being with Van. It was mysterious and exciting and answered so many questions..
He reached down, blindly searching, longing to give one tenth of the pleasure he was experiencing right now. Van was one step ahead and maneuvered them both on their sides, head to feet, so Jake could touch him, suck him, fist him, whatever. Van didn’t care as long as he could have Jake’s cock. What he didn’t take into account was Jake’s clumsy first attempt at oral sex. Shit, that hurt.
“Jake.” Van winced at the scrape of teeth, realizing a little instruction was necessary here. With a quick and very arousing visual aid, he demonstrated his favorite techniques and Jake’s tongue was a quick study. Van, moaning and swearing, vacillated between stop… harder… fuck…more. Jake’s mouth wrapped around his cock had to be the hottest sight ever but Van didn’t want to come yet. He eased out and pulled Jake up until they were kneeling, their cocks rubbing, all velvety and slippery.
“I want us to come together. OK?” His request was met with an agonizing groan.
“Oh God…fuck…please….yes.” Jake shook with the effort of holding back.
“Put your hands over mine… yesss….like that.” As Van fisted their cocks together, Jake growled deep in his throat, knowing in a few seconds, he was going to have the most earth-shattering orgasm of his life. Two moved as one, their hands in sync as the hot, slick strokes and heavy breathing mixed with the sound of wet skin.
“Oh God…fucking …damn it! Harder!” Jake ground his mouth onto Van’s as everything happened at once, his release washing over him like a tidal wave, Van whispering “I’m coming”, shooting all over, hands, stomach, chest and even chin.
Exhausted, they slumped to the bed and long minutes passed before they became aware of their surroundings and the enormity of what just transpired.
Van was petrified to look at Jake, afraid that this was a one-time deal, afraid Jake would want to go back to being just friends…and that could never happen. Not now. That ship has sailed. Van had crossed his own personal Rubicon.
A warm palm cupped his cheek and turned his face to Jake’s stunned, satisfied expression.
“That was fucking unbelievable.” The kiss floated across eyes, nose, chin, light as a feather before settling on the puffy, so-damn-erotic lips. Drawing Van’s top lip into his mouth, he sucked and rubbed it with his tongue, exactly like he did in their little dress rehearsal and was rewarded with the same look of lust and love.
“Mine.”
“Same here.”
“Umm, Jake?”
“Yeah, Van?”
“We didn’t lock the fucking door, did we?”