miracle (miracle) wrote in luke_noah, @ 2008-09-06 14:57:00 |
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Current mood: | anxious |
Entry tags: | -[jake/van]-, fanfic, fanfic: [rpf], ยป by: fizzerbass |
Kissing the Truth - Part 3
Original poster: fizzerbass
Title: Kissing the Truth
Author: Fizzerbass
Pairing: Jake/Van
Rating: PG-13? Some swearing, some kissing.
Notes: A heap of thanks to nouveau_monday , forbiddenromanc, and bluechic84 for pre-reading and providing commentary. Nouveau's suggestions make this a better piece.
Disclaimer: I don't know Van and Jake, and they don't know me well enough to know I would never hurt them. This is just the product of my imagination and their amazing hotness.
Jake stands outside the bar, hesitant to enter. He’s been to gay bars before, lots of times, but always with Van, and since tonight he is most definitely not with Van, it seems like more of a big deal than before.
This is what he wants, right? To go inside, find some anonymous guy to make out with and go back to Van with concrete proof he’s gay. God, he never imagined Van would be the one holding the closet door closed when he finally realized he wanted to come out.
“Hey. Handsome. It’s not a magic door or anything. You don’t have to click your heels three times to get in. Just, like, turn the handle and push. It swings both ways.”
Jake jumps back from the door, the blush making its way up his neck turning his face purple in the blue neon light spilling out the window.
“Holy daytime star! You’re that guy. That guy from the soap. Joe Silverman, right?”
“Uhm, no. I mean, yeah. I mean, yes, I’m the guy from the soap but I’m not him, Joe Silverman. It’s Jake. Jake Silbermann.”
“Oh, yeah, Silbertmen. Sorry, I’m not real good with names. Where’s the other guy? The short one? Nuke, is it? Is he here, too? Are you guys doing research for the show?”
“Ahh, no, not research. This is me. I’m gay. I mean, well, I’m trying to prove I’m gay…and he’s not here. Nuke. I mean Luke. Shit, I mean Van. That’s the other guy’s name. Van…and he’s not here. I’m alone tonight and…look, I should be going. I don’t think I belong here.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jeff, just hold up a minute. What’s your hurry? Why don’t we go inside, have a drink, get to know each other a little bit? Wait and see if maybe you don’t really belong here after all.”
Jake meets the other man’s eyes and sees the open invitation residing within. It’s not the first time he’s been hit on by another guy but it is the first time it’s happened without Van around to swoop in and steer the guy away.
Van, who didn’t believe him, who wouldn’t accept the fact he really was discovering he was gay after all. Van, who didn’t want to kiss him with anything resembling any kind of passion; passion he found himself hungering for more and more each day. Well, forget Van, forget his kisses. If he didn’t want to kiss Jake, Jake would find someone who did. No time like the present.
“Sure, okay. But only if you let me buy the first round.”
<><><><>
“So, Sweetie, what’s it like to be gay for pay?”
Jake tries not to choke on his beer, grabbing a napkin to wipe the foam from his lip. They’re sitting in one of the dark, round booths, away from the noise of the bar, and Jake’s glad he didn’t pick some loud, crazy club to do his hunting. He can’t imagine having to scream, “Will you kiss me?” over the thumping drumbeat of a techno tune.
“Excuse me?”
“Gay for pay? You know, on your show. I thought I read in the Blade you were straight?”
Jake takes a healthy sip of his drink. “Yeah, you probably did, but I’m not. Straight, I mean. I told you outside, I’m gay.”
“Riiight, whatever you say. A few months of kissing a guy and you’re convinced gay’s the way for you.”
Brian reaches forward and uses his thumb to wipe away some lingering wetness from Jake’s lips. Jake startles and draws back, causing Brian to smirk in a ‘told you so’ kind of way.
“No! It’s not like that. I’ve always been gay…or at least bi…I just never acted on the feelings before.” He swallows another mouthful of beer. “I’ve never had a problem with having a relationship with a guy.”
“Oh, of course not! Right up until the part where you’ve never actually had a relationship with a guy.”
Jake slumps back into the seat.
“Yeah, well, that’s not my fault. I’m not the one who doesn’t want to have a relationship with me.” Visions of Van float through his head as he sucks down more of his Michelob Ultra.
“Excuse me?”
Jake looks up to see the confusion evident on Brian’s face. He seems like a nice enough guy, maybe a little more screaming than he’s used to with his chunky turtleneck and sateen trousers, but he smells good. Not spicy like Van, but more sophisticated, like Corinthian leather and brandy by the fire.
He’s the total opposite from Van: dark hair, dark eyes, dark five o’clock shadow and Jake finds himself wondering if he’ll taste dark too, like strong coffee. Van always tasted like one of those puffy sweet mints that melt as soon as you put them in your mouth and Jake finds himself wanting one now. Draining his bottle, he shakes his head.
“Sorry. Not your fight, forgive me. Can I get you another drink?”
“No, I’m good, but feel free to get yourself another. Looks like you need it.”
“Just really thirsty tonight, I guess.” He holds his bottle up, catching the eye of their waitress.
“So, what’s it like, kissing Dodge?”
Jake’s eyebrows draw together in confusion. “Who?”
“The other guy on the show. Dodge, right?”
“Van. His name is Van.”
Brian waves Jake off as he slides a little closer, their legs touching. “Oh right, whatever. I knew it had something to do with a car. So what’s it like locking lips with him? It must be glorious, he’s such a little hottie.”
Jake puts his empty bottle on the waitress’s tray as she places his replacement on the table.
“It’s not like that. We’re not really kissing, we’re working. It’s no different than kissing any of my other costars.” Liar.
“Oh, come on now. You can’t tell me you don’t get off on kissing him, especially since you ‘don’t have a problem with having a relationship with a guy’. I saw him slip you the tongue in that kiss everyone’s playing on Youtube.”
“Okay, yeah, I’ll admit that was…ahem, fun, but we’ve never done it again. We can’t. The censors watch the show pretty closely.”
Jake feels himself getting hot, and hard, at the memory of Van’s tongue sneaking into his mouth during that kiss. He remembers Van smiling as the kiss deepened and his responding to it by opening his mouth for more…up until the point he realized he was really responding to Van’s kiss and froze completely.
Jake had never felt so many disturbing emotions at one time before. Disturbing not in a ‘oh my god, this is so gross’ kind of way, but more like, ‘oh my god, where has this feeling been hiding all my life and where can I get more of it?’ kind of way. He had freaked for sure, not because he didn’t want to be gay like Van thought, but rather because he had never gone from zero to hard in about four seconds flat before.
It was as if someone had turned on a floodgate of feeling within his body…and he’d be damned if he was going to let Van or anybody else turn it off now. Drinking half his new beer, he shifts in the seat to subtly readjust himself.
“Look, could we not talk about him? He’s not my most favorite person right now.”
Brian brings his arm to rest along the back of the booth, his hand casually resting on Jake’s shoulder.
“Ooh, trouble in paradise? Do tell, darling.”
Jake takes a pull from his bottle, surprised to find it almost empty already. He motions to the waitress to bring him another.
“There’s nothing to tell. He won’t kiss me.”
“Won’t kiss you? Honey, you’re confusing poor Brian here. I thought you just said it wasn’t like that?”
Closing his eyes, Jake rests his head back on Brian’s arm, cradling his beer to his chest.
“Yeah, but I want it to be that way. I want him to kiss me when we’re not working.”
“So what’s stopping you?”
“He won’t let me.”
“Won’t let you?” Brian takes the empty bottle from Jake’s hand and replaces it with the new one the waitress has just brought. “What is he, the kissing police? Do you get a ticket for doing the two-lip tango if you’re not in front of a camera?”
Jack giggles like only a man who’s consumed two beers in fifteen minutes can.
“No, no, it’s not like that. He’ll kiss me when we’re rehearsing and stuff, he just won’t open his mouth because he thinks I don’t really want to be gay. He thinks I’m just ‘experimenting’.”
Jake brings his beer to his lips, spilling a little on the way as he drinks blindly. Opening his eyes, he rolls his head to look at Brian.
“That’s why I’m here, you know, to find someone who wants to kiss me, since he won’t.”
Brian once again uses his thumb to wipe the beer from Jake’s lips and this time, Jake doesn’t flinch. This time, he shifts he chin down, licking his lips so his tongue just swipes Brian’s finger before moving back to take another drink from his bottle.
“Do you want to kiss me?”
“Oh, honey, it would be my pleasure.” Brian smiles, threading his fingers through Jake’s hair to cup the back of his neck.
“I’ll even open my mouth.”