miracle (miracle) wrote in luke_noah, @ 2008-02-11 20:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | fanfic, fanfic: [atwt], fanfic: rating: teen&under, » by: emmileexo |
Fic: Simplicity PG-13
Original poster: emmileexo
Title: Simplicity
Rating: PG-13, pretty clean
Summary: Noah spends his days with a girl with a sweet smile and his nights dreaming about a boy with blond hair.
Disclaimer: If they belonged to me, there'd be nothing pg-13 about it.
Story takes place from the beginning of the storyline, so spoilers all around.
A/N: My summaries suck, and this is my first fic, so feedback is loved. It's kind of disjointed, but this story has been in my head for weeks.
Noah spends his first few days in Oakdale getting to know a girl with wild brown hair and a sweet smile who watches all the same movies as he does. They spend their days together, where he showers her with compliments and basks in that gorgeous smile and returns a few of his own, and he watches the girl fall for him slowly.
He spends his nights dreaming of blond hair and lips that drive him crazy, lips that he shouldn’t want at all.
Luke tells him he’s gay, and the dreams get worse.
***
He spends the days afterwards trying to deny a tension they both know is there. Luke has been staring, avoiding, and when he finally asks Luke why, he hears the words that they both aren’t surprised by.
“…yeah, like that.”
By this point, the dreams are unbearable.
***
He spends his time denying everything up till the day his father comes to town and wants to take him and Maddie to lunch. He’s late, trying to delay everything as much as possible and then Luke comes in the room, offers him a tie of all things, and then he just stops lying.
Those lips are too close to him now, and neither of them is strong enough to resist.
The contact is electrifying, and he doesn’t want it to end. There’s a part of him that yelling that it’s wrong wrong wrong but there’s a bigger part of him that really doesn’t care at that point.
Then the phone rings and his dad’s voice forces him to squash down the part of him that would rather lose itself in Luke’s sweetness and sincerity and he lies to Luke, sees the confusion and hurt and still lingering desire in his eyes.
And he knows Luke can see the same emotions in his.
The dreams start to become nightmares.
***
He spends his days afterwards convincing Maddie to move in with him, to stay with him in Oakdale, to be with him, as if her constant presence can convince him that she’s what he wants. Meanwhile he still insists on lying to Luke, to himself. He can’t blame Luke for wanting to help him, but he needs Luke to realize that he can’t be helped. His father is too different, and Noah needs to become a man.
He tells Luke there isn’t a chance of them kissing again, and they both know it’s the biggest lie either of them has ever heard. He sees him with Roth and he feels sick to his stomach. His head spins and his heart aches. The thought of Luke getting over him scares him more than his father’s disapproval. And the idea of not seeing Luke anymore scares him more than anything.
Maddie is smiles and sweetness and softness and approval. Luke is balance and acceptance and desire and want.
He isn’t sure which one is worse.
He’s scared of sleeping now.
And he really, really hates the name Roth.
***
He wants to be angry at Luke, to be with Maddie and to see his father look at him with pride.
He needs to be with Luke though, to be around that confidence and determination that sustains him.
The nightmares start to shift.
***
He spends his time once his father leaves without fear, worry, or lies. He goes to Luke, finally free of everything and he just acts.
He stands there, holding and touching and kissing him and just is.
His father storms in, and the fear almost outweighs the euphoria.
***
He spends his time with his father hoping that he really can accept that he’s gay, that he can change, but can’t stop that voice in his head that tells him that there’s something wrong.
They go camping, he sees Luke on the ground, and that fear and guilt starts worming its way back into him.
***
He spends his time away from the hospital drowning his guilt and shame with a bottle and self pity. Luke is in the hospital, in a bed, unable to walk because he was so desperate for Daddy’s approval that he let himself be fooled, and now Luke hates him.
Maddie finds him, offers him a choice between movies and Luke.
He ashamed of his choice, but guilt tends to win out.
***
He spends time at her house, wallowing, and kisses Maddie. His mind still yells wrong wrong wrong but for different reasons this time. The alcohol and guilt have muddled his mind, and he’s thankful Maddie is sober or else he might have gone so much farther.
He’s sure now, more than ever, that Luke is the one he wants to be with.
***
He spends his time in Luke’s hospital room just staring, ready to run when those eyes that have haunted him for weeks open. But when they do, he looses his nerve, and he knows he made the right choice by coming.
The guilt still overwhelms him, chokes him, but the need to just be with Luke asserts itself at the last minute, and nothing could move him away for the world.
The word boyfriend sends shivers up his spine, and the idea that Luke belongs to him fills him with emotions that both scare and excite him.
He’s never wanted anyone like this before.
***
He spends his time at the farm with Luke, helping him accept the wheelchair, to begin to walk again.
He tells Luke he’s not going anywhere, and he’s never been more sure of anything in his life.
***
Noah spends his days in Oakdale with a blond boy with gold eyes and a smile that could fix anything. He goes to bookshops and parties with him and can finally hold his hand and press himself close without shame and fear creeping into his mind. The boy both accepts and enthrals him, and his family offers a home of warmth and love. He stays with Luke, surrounded by a real family and he knows this is how things should be.
He stays with Luke, and simply is.