miracle (miracle) wrote in luke_noah, @ 2008-08-17 20:43:00 |
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Original poster: crownroyal_51
Characters | Pairing: Luke Snyder/Noah Mayer
Author: crownroyal_51
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst
Spoilers: Up through Mid-April 2008
Summary: Some missing moments from after Noah marries Ameera.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. They are the property of "As the World Turns" and P&G.
Luke had never known true heartbreak until tonight. Watching Noah…his Noah… marry Ameera had been devastating. Luke honestly didn’t know how he managed to hold it together…to stand there next to Noah as his best man no less…and watch him marry a woman. Slowly and sadistically his heart was shredded as he listened to Noah say his vows…vows that Luke had written…words about love being a gift, sharing a life together. Luke never imagined how his own words would cause him such agony.
But Luke held it together. He didn’t cry. He stood by Noah’s side, putting on his bravest front. No one could see that inside he was slowly dying. Right before his eyes Noah was legally becoming someone else’s. What had started out seeming like a crazy sort of adventure …a way to pull a fast one over on the government and protect Ameera from returning to the horrors of Iraq had quickly become a sobering reality for Luke, especially after he had to sign Noah’s marriage certificate. Not as his spouse but as his witness.
Luke wished he was able to sleep. He desperately wanted this awful night behind him. But he had laid in bed for hours just staring up at the ceiling, trying so hard not to dwell on the fact that Noah was married. Finally, he went downstairs into the kitchen hoping that a glass of milk or a snack might help the situation.
But when he opened the refrigerator the first thing he saw were a couple of slices of the wedding cake sitting on the top shelf. Luke’s blood boiled.
No!
He snatched the plate from the refrigerator and promptly dumped its contents into the trash. Tears trickled down his cheeks as he remembered Noah’s hand on top of Ameera’s, cutting their wedding cake.
How did he manage to laugh during dinner, acting as if everything was just dandy? Because it sure as hell wasn’t! And had he actually made a toast before dinner welcoming them into the family?
Well, Luke wanted her out of Noah’s life.
Now.
He was mine. He was mine.
Was.
Before they had turned in for the night they’d spoken of having their own marriage certificate. Noah promised. But how could that happen when he was married to someone else?
Luke squeezed his eyes shut. It will happen. I just have to have faith.
He and Noah had decided this was the right thing…that they’d be “saving a life”. Noah had assured him that this wasn’t some twisted way for him to go back into the closet. The marriage would be in name only. And Luke would never forget Noah’s reassuring words, “I love you more than you’ll ever know. And nothing will change that…not this marriage, not anything else.”
But how could he have faith when Noah didn’t even kiss him goodnight? His marriage was only a few hours old and everything was completely different.
Maybe he won’t kiss me as long he was…married, Luke thought in horror.
Luke slumped against the island in the kitchen, burying his face in his hands and wept. His body was ravaged by the intensity of his sobs. He’d never felt so lost and utterly alone.
“Luke?” Noah’s voice cut through the darkness.
Immediately Luke froze. Noah couldn’t see him like this. Luke straightened up, quickly turning his back to Noah, desperately praying that Noah couldn’t see the state he was in. “Yeah,” Luke replied, struggling to keep the sorrow out of his voice.
Luke could hear footsteps approaching him. “Are you okay?” Noah asked.
“Yeah, sure.”
“Look at me then.”
Luke turned, his face wet with tears. Noah’s blue eyes softened. “Oh, Luke,” he murmured.
Luke quickly wiped his eyes. “I’m sorry you have to see me like this,” he quietly said, then forced a laugh. “I’m bawling like a little girl. How pathetic is that?” Unable to face Noah, Luke turned his back to him and tried his best to get his emotions in check.
A few moments later Noah’s hands were resting on Luke’s shoulders. “There’s nothing wrong with crying. It takes a real man to be able to show his emotions.”
“Yeah, I’m quite the stud,” he laughed bitterly.
Noah gently turned Luke around, gathering him in his arms. “You are an incredible man…putting your needs aside so that Ameera can…”
“Can we please just not talk about her?” Luke snapped. Damn…his words weren’t supposed to come out quite like that. He should have just stayed in bed and Noah would never have been the wiser.
“I’m sorry,” Noah said, releasing Luke from his embrace.
“Tonight was hard enough. I just can’t…” Luke’s voice trailed off.
“We did a good thing.”
“Did we?” Luke asked, titling his head to the side and staring intently at Noah. He tried to see if Noah actually believed it, because at the moment Luke certainly didn’t.
“So you think this was a mistake now?” Noah asked. There was a slight edge in his voice, which made Luke cringe. He didn’t want to fight with Noah now. Not when he felt like he was already losing him.
“Noah, I don’t know how think anymore. All I can do is feel. And I feel like I’ve lost you,” Luke said, blinking back the next wave of tears that were threatening.
Noah took Luke’s hands in his, gazing deeply into his eyes. “We’ve been over this,” he gently reminded his boyfriend. “This marriage is in name only…a mere formality. I don’t love her. I love you, Luke Snyder. That isn’t going to change…married or not.”
“I want to believe it,” Luke’s voice cracked.
“Come on,” Noah said, leading Luke into the parlor. He sat down on the sofa and patted the spot next to him. Luke dutifully sat down, allowing Noah to drape his arm around him and wipe some of the tears away with his thumb. “Talk to me, Luke,” he said softly. “Why are you so worried about us? We discussed this. I thought we were on the same page.”
“Everything seemed good in theory.”
“What changed?”
“I stood by your side and watched you marry someone else.”
“It’s not real,” Noah insisted.
“Oh you have a very real and official marriage certificate to prove that it is,” Luke countered sarcastically. He was starting to get a little bit frustrated that Noah didn’t seem to understand why this was hurting him so badly.
“Yes,” Noah sighed, “legally I am married but my heart belongs to you.”
“I’m sorry, Noah, but it doesn’t feel that way right now,” Luke said, glancing away from Noah’s intense gaze. “Everything is different now. You can’t deny it!”
Noah grasped Luke’s chin, gently nudging it toward him so that he could see Luke’s eyes. “It hasn’t even been a full day yet. I don’t know what you think has changed between us. You’re still my boyfriend and I still love you.”
“You didn’t even kiss me goodnight,” Luke whispered, allowing his eyes to drop to his lap. “Grandma’s rules or not…we’ve ended every night since you’ve lived here with a kiss. I know it sounds stupid…”
“No, it doesn’t,” he admitted, brushing his fingers through Luke’s hair. “And the reason why I didn’t kiss you tonight was because I was afraid that once I started kissing you I wouldn’t be able to stop. When I was saying those vows…god, I wished I’d been saying them to you…that tonight was about us.”
“Show me,” Luke whispered, desperation seeping into this voice. “Show me that you’re still mine.”
Noah’s mouth crushed down against Luke’s, their teeth clanking together. The force of the kiss pushed Luke against the armrest of the sofa. Luke parted his lips, eagerly allowing himself to become consumed by Noah…possessed by Noah. Luke moaned into Noah’s mouth, sliding his tongue deeply inside. His hands trailed down Noah’s back, dipping inside his pajama pants and boxer briefs.
“Oh, Luke,” Noah groaned, raising his mouth slightly from Luke’s.
“You’re mine, Noah,” Luke breathed, cupping Noah’s bare ass. “Mine.”
“Always…always,” Noah murmured, caressing Luke’s cheek with his left hand.
Luke closed his eyes and sighed. This was more like it. He was with Noah and…
The sensation of a small strip of metal brushing briefly against Luke’s lips tore him from his reverie. He opened his eyes and grasped Noah’s hand. His thumb swept over the gold wedding band.
He promptly removed his other hand from Noah’s ass. “This isn’t right,” Luke whispered, unable to take his eyes off the ring on Noah’s finger.
He had lost Noah. “What?” he asked, but before Luke could answer Noah followed his gaze which was focused on the wedding band. He tugged the ring off and put it on the coffee table. “It doesn’t mean anything. As far as I’m concerned it’s just a piece of costume jewelry.”
Luke nodded absently, still staring at the ring. It was just a gold band...part of the charade…a mere prop in their lavish play. But Luke’s rationale was doing little to keep the tears that filled his eyes from spilling over.
“Don’t, Luke…please don’t…”
“I’m…I’m…”
Noah pressed his lips against Luke’s cheek, kissing and licking away the tears. He murmured words of love and reassurance as he bathed Luke’s face with kisses and caresses. Every fear and insecurity Luke had vanished with each kiss Noah bestowed on him. Noah loved him. He kept repeating it over and over.
“I love you so much, Noah,” he gasped, clinging tightly to his boyfriend. “I need you so badly…”
Noah pulled back slightly gazing from Luke’s eyes to the tent that had formed in his blue and green flannel pajamas. “I need you too,” he murmured, snaking his fingers underneath the elastic of the pants.
“Noah,” Luke groaned. He was torn between telling Noah that they needed to stop and urging him to continue.
Without a word, Noah tugged Luke’s pajama pants and boxers past his hips, exposing Luke’s hard cock. Luke expected to feel Noah’s hand wrap tightly around his shaft, but instead Noah grasped the base and leaned forward, swiping his tongue across the tip of Luke’s penis.
“Oh my…” Luke shuddered. Noah was going to give him a blow job right there in his grandmother’s parlor.
Noah tentatively licked the head, his tongue sweeping over the slit almost teasing it. The sensation was maddeningly delicious…like nothing he’d ever experienced in his life. Luke bit his lip to stifle his moan. He couldn’t believe he was actually letting Noah go down on him with a house full of people…his parents, his siblings, his grandmother, Noah’s…
Noah’s mouth engulfing the tip of his cock quickly pushed the last thought aside. His lips were wrapped so tightly around him, slowly working their way down his shaft. A whimper managed to escape from Luke’s lips. He snaked his fingers through Noah’s silky hair…not to urge him or guide him, just to remind Luke that Noah was really here with him giving him his very first blow job.
Noah wasn’t taking him too deep, but damn it still felt incredible. And just when Luke would think he was getting close to coming, Noah would ease up and place feathery kisses on the tip or along the shaft. Noah seemed to want to savor the experience just like Luke did. He never wanted this moment to end. Everything was perfect. He and Noah were so incredibly close.
“So good,” Luke panted, his fingers still entwined in Noah’s hair. The sight of his dick sliding in and out of his boyfriend’s mouth was hot. He just stared at Noah through have closed lids, drinking in the erotic sight. “So good…”
Noah picked up his pace, his rhythm more steady and sure. Luke’s groin was on fire. He could feel the pressure building…
“Noah,” Luke gasped, one hand slipping from Noah’s hair to his shoulder. “I’m gonna…I’m…so…close…” He didn’t want to just shoot in his mouth. And Noah most likely didn’t want to swallow. “Please, Nooaaaah…”
But Noah didn’t move, instead he continued to lick and suck Luke until he finally came. Luke did his best to keep as quiet as he could but it was an almost impossible task since he was overcome with the longest most intense orgasm of his life. As it subsided he lay there spent and trembling.
Noah pulled off of him, choking and wiping his mouth.
Luke reached for him. It wasn’t right that he felt so satisfied while his boyfriend was a coughing mess. “Noah, I’m so sorry. I tried to warn you.”
He swallowed and took a breath. “I know…but I wanted to…”
His gesture made Luke’s heart melt. “Noah,” was all he could manage to whisper.
“I love you so much, Luke,” Noah whispered, kissing Luke.
Luke’s first instinct was to pull away when he tasted himself on Noah’s lips. But he was quickly overcome with the intimacy of the gesture. Luke had told Noah that he needed to be close to him and they couldn’t get too much closer than this. He deepened the kiss, plunging his tongue deeply inside Noah’s mouth. Luke wanted to remember every nuisance of this stolen moment with Noah. Sadly he knew it would probably have to get him through some rough times ahead.
Noah pressed his body against Luke’s, feverishly kissing and grinding against him. Luke could feel Noah’s hard cock still trapped inside his pajama pants, rubbing rhythmically against his hip. “You…feel…so…good,” Noah’s hot breath panted against Luke’s ear. He nibbled the earlobe, then shuddered, wetness seeping through the cotton material of his pajama pants.
Luke hugged Noah tightly, never wanting to let him go. He didn’t want him to return to his own bedroom. Luke wanted to spend the night with him…wrapped in his arms. But he knew that was impossible. Already they had pushed the limits. There was no telling how much longer their luck would hold out. After all, this was the Snyder household so you never knew when someone would pop up unexpectedly. And Luke certainly didn’t want to get caught with his pants down so to speak.
“We have….we should,” Luke couldn’t even bring himself to finish the sentence. It hurt just thinking about telling Noah they needed to return to their respective rooms.
Noah reluctantly untangled himself from Luke. “I know,” he sighed, running his fingers through his dark hair.
“This is going to be so hard,” Luke sighed, staring up at the ceiling.
“Hey,” Noah gently said, slipping his fingers through Luke’s. “This is only temporary. One day it will be us. And I’ll write my own vows to say to you.”
“Promise?”
He gently caressed Luke’s cheek. “I promise to love and honor you.”
Luke closed his eyes, savoring Noah’s words, knowing that he’d need them to get through this new arrangement.