Title: You Can't See What's Right in Front of You Part: 2/3-4 Author: Forbiddenromanc (Me, aka, Rae.) Rating: PG at the most. Summary: Jake looked around, at the people, the lights, and the cameras in the distance. "What? Isn't this what you wanted me to do?" Move away, be at a respectable distance.
Van's eyes were on his lips and for once Jake couldn't question it. Van blinked, looking up to meet his eyes, looking scared to answer the question. "No," he whispered.
Notes: Thank you Ali and Jammi, for reading this. <3 Oh, and there are parts in italics which are Luke/Noah scenes which are being filmed and the words not in italics are...well, you should figure it out. Disclaimer: This goes on completely in my head.
"It's--It's fine," he said, looking at the comic book in his hands. "Thanks."
Van smiled shyly, "No problem. I--I'll see you around. I have a f--few more scenes to shoot…"
Jake smiled back. "Yeah, sure. See you around." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Noah," Luke whispered, stepping around the board that always creaked, shaking his boyfriend's sleeping form on the couch. "Noah, wake up." Van wondered if forgetting his lines would stall this as long as he'd like.
Noah's leg were tangled in the blanket, pajama pants low on his hips, shirt riding up from twisting in his sleep. He blinked rapidly, trying to understand what was going on. "Luke--whaa?"
Luke smiled, thinking Noah was adorable when he was waking up. He tugged on his hand, trying to get him to sit up, his pants slipped lower, Luke's eyes tracing his hipbones. "C'mon sleepy-head. We have to go to class."
Noah shook his head, laying back down, trying to pull Luke with him. "Five more minutes." He pulled insistently at Luke's hand. He nuzzled his head against the pillow, closing his eyes, his body softening as he started to fall back asleep.
Van hesitated, wanting to know the way to do this without Jake's body pressing against his. Luke gave in, squeezing himself next to Noah on the couch, resting his head on his shoulder. "I'm assuming you'll have no protests to skipping class then…"
"I'm ashamed I didn't think of it first," Noah mumbled sleepily.
"Lazy," Luke teased.
"No," Noah said after a yawn, "Just tired. I certain blonde kept me up watching movies all night."
"Well, that certain blonde is fine, so it must be your old age," Luke said, eyes sparkling.
Noah laughed. "We're two months apart, Luke."
"Might as well be two years, Mayer."
"Whatever. I want to go back to sleep," Noah stated, snaking an arm around Luke, tugging him firmly against him.
Luke yawned against his free hand. "So sleep, I'll be here when you get up." And this was the part he hated, when he always slipped out of character. It didn't feel like Luke and Noah and Van wanted to go back to when he could pretend it did.
Noah swiveled his head around, seeking Luke's lips, lazily delving deeper into his mouth, thinking maybe this was better than sleep. Van relaxed into the kiss, not wanting to have to re-shoot it. Once was more than enough.
Luke groaned, pulling back, talking against his lips, "I thought you wanted to sleep."
Noah gave him a lingering kiss. "I can't think of a better send off into sleep."
"Neither can I, " he said, pushing his lips back to Noah's, tangling his hands in his hair, shifting to lay half on top of him. It felt natural, too natural. And Van wanted to get out of there.
Noah's tongue prodded at Luke's lips, waiting for them, to part, slipping through when Luke let out a sigh of contentment, tangling with his… The lines of acting and real life started to blend and Van could feel himself starting to fall…
"Cut!" The director yelled.
Van jumped up , like he'd been touched by fire, off the couch, standing as far away from Jake as possible.
"That's it for today, guys."
Jake nodded at him, getting off the couch, starting in Van's direction. "You okay?"
Van nodded, stepping back. "Y--Yeah. I, uh, I have to go." He turned and started towards the exit.
"Van, wait," Jake called out.
Van took a few more steps then stopped, turning to face Jake, but looked at the ground, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Yeah?"
"I--We-- Can we talk," he looked around, as the lingering crew in the distance, "somewhere?"
Van kicked some imaginary dirt, still avoiding Jake's gaze. It made it worse that they'd just filmed that scene. Jake's lips fresh in his mind. Making me want what I shouldn't--didn't, he reminded himself, want.
"I--I--don't--," he saw Jake's face fall, "I guess."
Jake missed the self assured Van he'd come to know. "It's not the Spanish Inquisition, you don't have to be so nervous," he tried to joke.
Van laughed quietly. "Might as well be," he murmured. "Coffee?"
"When have I ever turned down coffee?"
Van laughed again, a real laugh. He pretended to count on his fingers. "Let me see, never?"
"What can I say? I'm a coffee man," he said with a shrug.
"You're a dork." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Van twisted the cup in his hands, picking at the cardboard cuff. He blew on the steaming cup to cool it off, the cover laying forgotten on his napkin.
Jake sat down across from him a few minutes later, sipping an iced lattee. Van looked up, meeting Jake's eyes, connecting for a moment before looking into his coffee.
Van knew if he didn't say something Jake would and he wasn't ready to hear what he had to say, the last scene still lingered in his mind and that night a few weeks ago. "You are the only person I've ever met who drinks iced lattes in the middle of winter," he stated softly, looking up again, he smiled at Jake, the smile not quite reaching his eyes.
"Plenty of people do it," Jake said, shrugging and taking another sip. "Anyway, you still drink soda and that's cold," he pointed out, knowing this was Van's diversion tactic. He wished Van wasn't so scared of him and what he wanted. The irony of being the reverse Luke and Noah wasn't lost on him.
Van tried to think of another topic --anything except them. "Yeah, I guess I never thought of that."
He drank the last of his coffee, thankful to get up, to throw it away. He sat back at the table silently, noticing Jake draw pictures on the table with his fingers, wet from the cup.
"Van--look. I--"
"Do we have to talk about this?" Van interrupted.
"Don't you think this is something we should talk about?"
Van didn't want to be an adult right now. He wanted to be 5 again when his parents fought his 'battles' for him. " There isn't anything to talk about."
"There isn't any--Van, what about--"
Van blurted out the first thing that came into his head. "Whatever happened was a m--mistake."
"What?"
"At the award show, it was nothing. I was confused and not myself. Can we let this go now?"
Jake blinked, the hurt showing on his face. "Van, I--you don't mean that."
"No, I do. Jake--" He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself for what he was about to say, "get over it."
He couldn't even look at him. He got up, pulling his jacket off the back of the chair and leaving as fast as he could, thinking what he wanted would hurt more than this and it would hurt Jake. Still he couldn't forget Jake's face when he said it was nothing. And to make it worse, Monday they had to finish taping that part. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- His head rested on Noah's chest, rising and falling with each breath, Noah's arm curled around his body, the blanket half on them. Jake willed himself not to move into Van when he laid on the couch and he made himself not pull him closer, when Luke, and there was a clear difference, snuggled against Noah.
Luke woke up first, peppering Noah's face with kisses, trying to get him awake. Noah swatted at him, mumbling, "Knock it off, Faith."
Luke laughed against the back of hand wondering what his sister did to poor Noah. "I'm not Faith, Noah," he whispered in his ear, nipping at the lobe. Noah moved into the touch stuttering Luke's name under his breath. He made a mistake almost say Van not Luke. Because this shouldn't be Luke and Noah. It should be Van and Jake.
"That's better."
He put his head back on Noah's chest, giving up on waking him. Noah's hand ran up and down his back. When his fingers started to play with the hair at the nape of his neck, Luke knew Noah was awake. Jake wondered If Van ever knew that the hand in hair thing Noah seemed to love was never in the script and never something the director told him to do.
"Hey," Luke said, softly, kissing all over Noah's face again.
Noah yawned, stretching his free arm. "Hi."
"Bought time you woke up," Luke teased, trying to sit up. Noah's insistent hands pulled him back down, laying on top of him. He felt Van tense up because they both knew what was coming but Jake also knew that the second their lips met, whether Van knew it or not, he relaxed.
Noah kissed him sleepily, winding a hand in his hair, sighing against his lips as they parted.
"I guess we have to get up," Noah mumbled, not really wanting to get up. He wanted the world to fade away and stay on this couch with Luke forever. And so did Jake. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Van was walking off set when Jake stopped him.
"Van, wait!" Jake called, grabbing his arm when he caught up with him. His eyes were watery and darting everywhere.
"Yeah?" he whispered.
"I--I don't want to forget. I can't--you. I don't understand."
Van didn't get angry like Jake thought he would, instead the tears welled up and over, running down his cheeks.
"You have to, Jake. Please. Just forget about it and forget about me."
"Van, why are you so afraid?"
He wiped at his tears with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry."
"Van--for what? I--"
Van pressed his lips to Jake's unexpectedly, tasting the coffee from this morning and the spice of cinnamon gum, making him crave this and tugging Jake closer. It didn't matter that they were on set and that Van was terrified, all the mattered was Jake and his mouth.
"You were right," Van whispered against his lips, pressing them solidly against his again and running off. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jake wanted to go after him. But what could he say to him? Van had one more scene left in the day with Tala, and in the end of it, Jake. He couldn't remember what exactly something about Ameera being Noah's half-sister, as Luke and Noah recently found out. Jake knew his part was questioning Luke about Casey, automatically protective of his younger sister.
He rubbed at his eyes, feeling unexplainably tired. Over the intercom system his named was called, requesting him on the set. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Luke leaned against the counter, lifting his cup of orange juice to his mouth. Noah had gone to shower, claiming he'd go back to sleep if he didn't get up. He wasn't used to the couch anymore, now sleeping in Luke's room. Van was relived he didn't immediately have to work with Jake. He at least a few minutes to regroup and focus on the scene. Easier said than done.
After almost marrying Ameera, Emma said she wouldn't feel right keeping them apart after what they went through, from being prepared to not act like a couple to at one point coming very close to not being a couple.
Ameera walked into the kitchen. "Hello Luke."
Luke smiled warmly at the girl he'd finally come to see as a friend. "Hey, sleep well? I know you're stilling getting used to the guest room."
"Yes, thank you again for letting me stay."
"You're Noah's sister and my friend, we couldn't kick you out." Van would never admit it out loud but he was jealous of Tala when she first joined the show. Before he knew the wedding would never happen he dreaded having to watch her and Jake together.
"I know but still, I am very grateful. Some nights I wake up waiting for a bomb to go off, being in a house full of people helps me remember where I am."
Luke frowned. "Is there anything--"
"No, it will just take time for me to adjust."
"Well, if you ever need anything…" he trailed off.
"I know. Thank you," she said. "Where is Noah? Lately I haven't seen one of you without the other."
Luke blushed. "He's upstairs. I kept him up most of the night."
Ameera blushed and looked away. "Oh."
"We were watching movies!" he added quickly more loudly than he meant to in his fluster.
The blush lingered on her cheeks but her eyes were misted with laughter. In the last few weeks she'd really come out of her shell.
Van tensed. He knew Jake would come in now. He thought about the time when he was a little kid and he wished he had the power of invisibly. Foot steps could be heard coming down the staircase and Noah walked into the kitchen, drying his hair with a towel.
"Speak of the devil…" Luke said to Ameera.
Noah walked directly to Luke, wrapping an arm around his waist, an action so natural Luke was still amazed by it. "Mmm, hi."
Van thought Jake might kiss him, the way he leaned into him, their faces so close. The thought made butterflies dance in his stomach. Luke looked up, smiling. "Hi."
"Hello Noah," Ameera chimed in, happy to see her brother so happy.
Noah grinned. "Hey, sorry. I guess I have tunnel vision for Luke."
Ameera smiled kindly. "After all that happened I can see why," she said, excusing herself back to her room.
"You know Casey pretty well right?" Noah asked, when Ameera had gone back to her room. Luke looked at him curiously, "Yeah, why?"
"Is he--I know he was with Maddie--and then jail but--"
"He's not going to hurt Ameera. He's a good guy."
Noah looked sheepish, "You don't think it's weird that I'm so protective of her?"
"You were before you ever knew she was your sister, it doesn't surprise me. You want to protect the ones you love, nothing wrong with that."
Noah's face darkened with the guilt that sometimes he thought would never leave him. "I still wish I could have protected you from my father," Noah said.
"Hey, none of that. You didn't know what he was going to do and if you did, you would have protected me."
"Still, I don't know what I would have done if I lost you."
"You really are a closet romantic," Luke teased, lightening the mood.
"I love you." He spoke softly, as if he was worried if he said it too loud Luke would fade away. Van wanted to run, didn't want to speak the lines that were becoming real faster than he could deal with.
The teasing light in Luke's eyes faded replaced with love. "I love you too." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Van," Jake called after him, as he walked down the street, when he finally got off set.
He turned around, but kept his distance. "Yeah?"
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you. I--but after what happened you can't ju--"
Van looked weary as his interrupted. "Jake, no--I--look, I promise, I'll talk to you but not now--okay?"
"Van…"
"I'll see you on set, Jake." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------