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miracle (miracle) wrote in luke_noah, @ 2008-04-30 22:21:00

Current mood:

tired

Fic: Dance With The One Who Brought You (3/?)

Original poster: gershwhen

Author: Gershwhen
Title: Dance With the One Who Brought You
Rating (PG, PG-13, R, NC-17): This Chapter PG
One-Shot or Series: Part 3 of ?
Summary: Canon Through April 6th (Noah and Ameera have moved to the cottage), but will start to veer from canon in this chapter (a bit). Luke, Noah, Casey, Ameera and ICE and what happens when they try and make life work. This is my view of what I'd like to see happening outside the five minutes a week we get.
Words: 6,600

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

The Saturday riding outing was cancelled. Luke huffed in frustration as he hung up the phone. After having spent time earlier in the week moving Noah and Ameera into his grandmother’s cottage, Luke was hoping for time with Noah this weekend. How four people riding at the farm would be considered “questionable” to ICE was beyond him. But Noah and Ameera had talked it over and decided they should spend the day “at home” doing homework.

Trying to rein his temper in, Luke looked at the phone at home. He had sort of thought he was Noah’s home and that the reverse applied. Apparently not right now and, if he was honest with himself, he was beginning to wonder about ever.

This sham was not only ruining his social life, but apparently his mood as well. He took several deep breaths to calm himself and then headed to the barn. Just because the group wasn’t going riding didn’t mean he couldn’t.

Many miles and three hours later Luke was back in the kitchen. He kissed Grandma Emma on the cheek as she left to go meet her church group for a trip to Chicago, “Faith is off at a friend’s and Natalie is upstairs. Lily and Ethan left a bit ago, so you’re in charge.” He watched as she walked through to the porch and out to the car.

His stomach demanded attention and he’d just washed up and was fishing around in the ‘fridge for something to eat when the door creaked. Looking over to the hall from upstairs, he was surprised to see Natalie standing in her nightgown. He glanced at the clock, it was almost noon. He shut the door and walked toward her and bent down. “Hey, Nat, you okay?”

She shook her head at him and quietly replied, “My head and neck hurts.”

He studied her more closely. Her eyes were glazed, her face quite pale and he could see her hands were trembling. Reaching up to brush the hair from her forehead he was shocked at how warm she felt. He plastered a smile on his face to reassure her and tried to be casual.

“Is Momma here?,” her voice sounded a bit scratchy.

She was now leaning into his shoulder and he put an arm around her. “No, she took Ethan to meet Aunt Carly for coffee a while ago. Dad’s in town. Why don’t you come sit down over here,” he picked her up and set her on one of the kitchen chairs. “I’m going to go get a thermometer and we’ll check your temperature. You sit right here and I’ll be right back.”

Luke quickly left the kitchen, running upstairs. He went into bathroom and grabbed the thermometer, a clean wash cloth and then to Natalie’s room for a blanket. He was back into the kitchen quickly; Natalie was leaning into the kitchen table her hands rubbing at her neck. “Hey, there, let’s do this.” He picked her up, wrapped her in the blanket and settled her on his lap. Putting the thermometer in her mouth, he tried to offer words of comfort. She curled up on his lap as he continued to rub her back and wait for the thermometer to beep.

The slight chime alerted him and he gently took the thermometer from her mouth. Luke stared at it for a second. 103.2. He blinked and looked again, and the number didn’t change. Feeling his heart rate speed he looked down at Natalie and then stood with her in his arms. He walked over to the kitchen counter and sat her next to the sink. He ran some cool water over the washcloth and brushed it across her face.

Sighing softly, she leaned into him, her grip tightening. “That feels good, but can you make the lights stop hurting?”

“Lights, Nat?” He cooled the washcloth and wiped down her face and neck again.

“The lights, they hurt my eyes.” She again leaned into his shoulder. “I think I want a nap, is Momma here?”

Stiffening, Luke put a finger under her chin so they could look at each other. “Mom’s out. I just told you that, remember?”

She looked at him in confusion and shook her head. “Hurts. I don’t like this, Luke, it’s hot.”

Pulling her from the counter, he picked her up again. “I know. Let’s see what we can do about that okay?”

She tucked her head under his chin as he reached for the cell phone in his pocket. Thumbing it open, he speed dialed his mom. It went straight to voice mail. Okay, he thought to himself, don’t panic, call Dad. He hit the speed dial for Holden’s number and waited. It went to voice mail. Either his parents were talking to each other, or the world was against him. Hoping for a third time to be the charm he hit another speed dial.

“Hello,” Meg answered on the second ring.

Sighing in relief, Luke calmed a bit. “Aunt Meg, it’s Luke I can’t find Mom or Dad, and I have a problem. I’m home with Natalie and she’s not feeling well. I took her temperature, and was expecting someplace around one hundred. It came out to 103.2. I’ve never seen it that high. I’ve tried cooling her down with a washcloth, but I don’t think it’s helping.”

He could hear the tension in her voice as she offered instructions. “Luke, I need you to check two things. One, is she sweating?”

He brushed his hand over her head again. “No, she’s really warm, her forehead is a bit damp, but it doesn’t feel like the fever is breaking at all.”

Meg’s tense yet calm voice kept him from panicking, “Is she stuffy or having any trouble breathing?”

This time his answer was immediate. “No, she seems… really tired and a bit disoriented. She asked twice in five minutes where Mom was. And she just seems really lethargic.” He continued to rub Natalie’s back in comfort as he waited for Meg to tell him what to do.

“Okay, I think you need to bring her into the hospital. She…” Luke didn’t hear the rest of Meg’s comment as Natalie arched in him arms. The cell phone fell to the floor as he grabbed for his sister. Remembering his CPR and emergency classes, he quickly laid her on the floor on her side. Her body trembled as her arms and legs twitched. Assuring that she stayed on the blanket and didn’t hit the cabinets, he waited for the seizure to end. After what seemed like years to him, she stilled. He watched to assure that she was breathing. Once he could see that she was, he looked around for the phone.

“.. Luke! Tell…” Meg’s voice echoed from under the counter. “Luke!”

He reached under to retrieve the phone and brought it to his ear. “I’m here. Natalie had a seizure, she seems quiet now. But Meg, she’s burning up.” He could feel his heart beating through his chest. He needed to be calm, but Natalie looked so small and slight.

Meg’s voice made him pay attention. “Luke, listen to me, she needs a hospital now. I’d send an ambulance, but it would be at least twenty minutes for it to get there and you could be almost to the hospital in that time. There isn’t any one else around?”

Luke, who was already starting to scoop Natalie into his arms, said, “No. Mom and Dad are out and Gramma Emma left a while ago. I’m heading toward the car.”

Meg’s voice remained calm as she kept talking to him. “Leave the line open, and when you’re in the car put me on speaker. Listen, strap her into the back seat and you’ll need to keep an eye on her – which I know will be hard while you’re driving. But if she starts to seize again, you’ll need to pull over to make sure she won’t choke or hurt herself. I won’t leave you on the phone alone. Crank the AC up high. It may not be much help, but it will circulate cooler air around her.”

He pushed through the screen door and let it slam behind him, walking as quickly as he could toward the car, while limiting the jostling to his sister. He opened the locks and gently placed her in the backseat with the blanket snugly wrapped around her as he fastened the seatbelt. She pushed at his hands.

“Luke? It’s not… I don’t… blanket. Luke? Mom says…” her voice trailed off again.

He leaned in and offered a quick kiss to her brow. “It’s okay, Nat. You’re going to be fine. We’ll be at the hospital soon.”

Slamming the door shut he jumped into the front seat and started the engine. Pulling the phone from the crook of his neck, he thumbed the speaker phone button and shot down the driveway.

Clearing the farm’s lane onto the main road, Luke peered into the rearview mirror. Natalie was dozing, leaning against the seat and very pale. He was just getting to an intersection when a movement caught his eye. Natalie was starting to seize again. He pulled quickly to the side of the road, he put on the emergency flashers and climbed over the backseat. Unbelting her, he helped her get settled and waited as the seizure worked itself out. His heart was racing and he couldn’t figure out what he should be doing to help. He heard the instructor from his health classes talking about how hard it was to wait, but he didn’t realize until now how helpless he could feel.

She finally calmed and he secured her back into seat. “Luke?”

He’d just opened to door to move when she started to look a bit more lucid. “I’m right here, Nat, you’re going to be okay. We’re on the way to the doctor.” He leaned over and quickly kissed her brow and started to get out.

“You promise you won’t leave me?” her voice sounded faint.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise, we’ll be there soon.” He tried to smile at her.

She grabbed for his hand, “You really promise? You’ve been sick before and you always are brave, you won’t leave me alone at the hospital?”

He gave her hand a small squeeze, “I promise. I’ll be right there until you feel better, okay?” He could feel her grip slacken as she drifted off again. Taking a deep breath to steady his own hands, he climbed out of the back seat and back into the driver’s. He reported his progress to Meg as he pulled back out on the road and then raced up to a stop sign. Traffic was heavy in the area and he had to time his turn, all the while cursing the other drivers who were in his way.

Meg’s voice emanated from the speaker. “Luke?”

He checked Natalie again. “No change, I’m up to the city limits.”

“I’m still here, but I had someone else call Holden and Lily. Lily’s phone must be off, but they finally go a hold of Holden and he’ll meet you at the hospital. I’m on my way as well. You’re doing great and it’s going to be okay.”

Letting out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, Luke felt a bit of the tension leave his shoulders. He hadn’t been sure what would happen at the hospital if one of their parents hadn’t been there to approve immediate care for Natalie. He swerved to avoid a car that tried to cut him off and ignored the blare of its horn. Focused on the street names, he could see the big blue “EMERGENCY” sign of the hospital ahead. “Meg, I’m just turning off Crescent onto Medical Boulevard. I should be at the Emergency Room any minute.”

He had to slow at the curve to the Emergency entrance. Pulling up, he didn’t even have the car in park when Holden was opening the back door. Luke undid his seatbelt and was helping to unstrap Natalie when two orderlies moved Holden aside. They picked her up and put her on a gurney and started a fast pace to the doors.

Holden came around the car, “Let me park this. Go on in and tell them as much as you know, I’ll be right there.”

Nodding Luke ran for the automatic doors. Skidding into the waiting room, he saw the foot of Natalie’s gurney as it rolled into one of the exam rooms down the hall. Slowing to a brisk walk he moved toward the door and met a nurse just as she came out.

“Mr. Snyder?”

Luke looked at her, then at the window, where he could see several nurses standing over Natalie. “No. Yes, well, I’m her brother, our dad will be right in.” Before he knew it, she’d firmly taken his arm and he was directed back to the waiting area. She sat him down and had him review everything that had happened since Natalie had come into the kitchen. He looked up at the clock, and was surprised, he couldn’t believe that this had all happened in little more than an hour.

The nurse turned to Holden, who had arrived during Luke’s explanation. She said she’d return with a status as soon as possible and left the two sitting on a bench.

Luke watched as she walked away, and then took a deep, shuddering breath. Feeling his whole body start to shake, he leaned in as Holden reached around his shoulder. His father’s voice was soft in his ear. “Thank you.”

Startled, Luke looked up. “For what?”

Holden tightened his embrace, then started to run his hand from Luke’s shoulder to elbow, trying to calm the trembling. “Luke, you didn’t panic. You knew when to call for medical help and you managed two seizures, one on the way here. Natalie is safe and alive because of what you did. I couldn’t be more proud of you.”

He didn’t know he’d needed the reassurance until he heard it. Sagging into his father Luke gasped and then closed his eyes. “I felt so helpless. And she’s so small.” They weren’t through this yet and he was not going to fall apart. Taking a few deep breaths, he focused on his father’s hold and felt himself start to calm.

Straightening, he pulled back, but not out of Holden’s one-armed hug. “I don’t know how you do it. How did you look all calm and in control when I was sick? I could barely drive the car.”

Holden grimaced. “You pretend it’s going to be all right, you hope it is and it usually works out. I was watching as you drove up, you know. You looked totally in control. You weren’t panicking and you were hurried but not erratic. You did what you needed to do. That’s all any of us can.”

They sat silently for a few moments and gathering himself, Luke turned to his dad. “Did anyone find Mom yet? Maybe I should go look…”

Holden cut him off, “No. You’re not going anywhere and I’ve called Jack, he’ll go looking for your mom, she’s around somewhere, he’ll find her and bring her here.”

About to respond, Luke looked up to see Meg slide around the corner. She stopped at seeing both men sitting there.

Holden gestured down the hallway, “They’re examining her now.”

Luke pushed off the bench and stood, “Aunt Meg, thanks, I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t answered the phone. I really wasn’t sure what to do and…”

She grabbed him in a firm embrace and held on. “You don’t need to thank me. I heard you on the phone with Natalie. You kept talking to her the whole time she was having the first seizure,” she pulled back a bit. “Did you know that?” She was smiling at him.

Surprised, Luke tried to remember, it was all such a blur. “No, I didn’t think I was doing that. Wow, I was just trying to keep her calm, I guess talking kept me from being more terrified that I already was.”

She looked gently at him. “You explained what was happening, in case she could hear you, you kept reassuring and talking to keep her calm. I couldn’t have done better.” She stepped back, “Let me go see who’s on duty and what I can find out what I can without getting in the way. I’ll be back.” With one more quick hug, she was gone.

Luke settled back next to his dad.

….:..

Jack brought Lily into the waiting room well before Meg returned. She gave Luke a quick hug and then turned to Holden for comfort. Luke stepped back a moment to allow his parents a bit of privacy and looked over at Jack. “Hey, thanks for tracking down Mom.”

Jack shrugged, “No problem, I’m just sorry she was needed. Holden didn’t say much, what happened?”

Luke ran through the morning’s events and just as he finished, Meg appeared with a doctor he’d never seen before.

“Mr. and Mrs. Snyder?” The doctor stepped forward and offered his hand to Holden. They shook and greetings were exchanged amongst the group. “I’m Doctor Endicott, the pediatrician on call.” Shuffling a chart under his arm, he got right to the point. “We don’t know what’s causing the fever, although we’ve started an IV to keep Natalie hydrated. Her temperature is still quite high and if it goes much further, we’ll consider some cooling procedures. Right now, we need to figure out what’s causing the spike in temperature. I’ve ordered a couple of tests that should allow us to narrow down our options quite a bit. But, I was wondering if she’d been sick this week, or complained of anything?”

Lily shook her head, “No, she was out yesterday playing with her sister and watching Luke ride. She went to school and didn’t complain of anything last night. You must have some idea of what could be causing this?”

Doctor Endicott looked thoughtful, but only said, “There are a number of options, I don’t want to jump to any conclusions until we have more detail.” Turning toward Holden, he inquired, “Now you were with her when she collapsed?”

Holden shook his head, “No, I was in town. Luke was with her.”

The doctor turned toward Luke and blinked. “I’m sorry. I thought she had seizure at home and then one in the car on the way here? Who was handling that?” He looked expectantly over a Jack, who continued to look at Luke.

“That was me.” Luke said looking worried. “Why? Did I do something wrong? I thought …”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I just expected someone more senior to have dealt with all of this. You just surprised me, is all.” He seemed to regroup for a moment and then asked, “Can you tell me exactly what happened when she came to you?”

Luke reviewed the story one more time.

After he finished his recitation, the doctor started asking questions. “She said the light hurt her eyes?”

Luke stuck his hands in his pockets to stop fidgeting. “Yes, when I sat her on the counter to wash down her face, the light was coming in the window and she said it hurt. She also asked questions that she’d asked before, like she didn’t remember talking to me.”

The doctor considered that. “Was she combative or did she fight you in anyway?”

Surprised, Luke’s eyes widened. “No, she seemed a bit clingy and she kept asking me to not leave her alone, but she didn’t fight me at all.”

The doctor paused, turning a bit toward Holden and Lily. “We’ve had to lightly sedate her, she seems to be fighting the nurse. With small children, they like to have a familiar face close by, so we’ll arrange for you to sit with her, it may calm her down. She seems a bit confused still – probably due to the high fever. She keeps saying ‘He will keep his promise, he knows all about being in the hospital’. Does that make any sense to either of you?”

Holden and Lily looked at each other for a moment. “No,” Holden said as he looked over at Luke. “But she must mean you, since you’re the only one she’d think would know all about being in the hospital.”

Luke looked from his parents to the doctor, his mind racing over previous conversations. “Maybe. She made me promise I wouldn’t leave her alone, but that was before you guys were here. She probably just needs to see you.”

The doctor nodded and then motioned toward the examination room. “Let me take you in and see if you can calm her, we’d like to be able to take her off the light sedative, so that it doesn’t affect the outcome of any tests that we need to run.” Luke watched as his parents walked away with the doctor.

He looked over a Meg, who gave him an encouraging look. “I think we’ll all need some coffee, I’ll go get us some.” She patted his arm and walked down the hall.

Turning to Jack, he again offered thanks for tracking down his mom. Jack replied sardonically, “No problem, I figured she was with Carly. I think they were either plotting my murder or where to hide my body when it was complete.”

Surprised at the wry answer, Luke said, “Uh oh, trouble in paradise? I thought things would be better now that Parker’s trial was over…”

Jack shrugged. “They are better for the kids. But I went and did something really stupid and now I seem to have half of the women in Oakdale mad at me.” He paused to look down the hall. “Be glad that you don’t have a girlfriend, sometimes I think they’re more trouble than their worth.”

Luke sighed for a moment, “Yeah, well, I can tell you having a boyfriend isn’t any picnic either.”

Startled Jack looked at him and then they both smiled knowingly. “Love sucks,” they said in unison and then high-fived.

Dropping his arm, Jack sobered. “You’re young, this is supposed to be the fun part of love – everything before the marriage and kids and mortgage. Holden said you and Noah were having some issues, but I didn’t think it was that serious.”

Luke ran a hand through his hair. “I think I underestimated what we were getting into. I offered to help him while he worked out a family problem and it seems to have driven more distance between us. I guess I just miss him having him around.”

Jack looked thoughtfully down the corridor. “Well, I certainly can’t say I’m an expert, but I do know that there are a lot of other fish in the sea. Maybe Noah isn’t the one for you?”

Luke knew his eyes flashed, as Jack put up placating hands. He chuckled wryly, “No, don’t worry you’re not the first person to say that. I do love him, but I don’t want to spend my life hiding who I am or who I’m with. And at the moment, I don’t see that I’m doing anything but hiding.” Luke looked down the hallway at the exam room. “But right now, that seems sort of small, you know?”

Jack gripped his shoulder in support and followed his gaze. “I understand what you’re saying, but at the same time, having someone you can depend upon to love and support you, makes times like this a lot easier to bear.”

Luke answered with a “Hmmmm,” and then watched as the door to the examination room opened and the doctor stepped out. He waved to Luke who immediately moved forward. “Excuse me, Uncle Jack.”

Looking expectantly at the doctor, he was escorted into the room. Natalie was lying in a large bed that seemed to make her look even smaller. Her eyes were half lidded and she seemed to be murmuring something, but he couldn’t hear what. His mom was standing at the head of the bed, brushing the hair back from Nat’s forehead, as his dad stood by with an arm around mom.

“Luke,” the doctor said, startling him. “I want to try something, Would you go over and talk to your sister, and see what she does?”

Confused, Luke looked from the doctor to his parents and then approached the bed. Taking up her free hand, he gave it a quick squeeze. “Hey, sleepyhead, how are you feeling?”

The change was instantaneous, Natalie’s eyes opened fully and she seemed to focus on Luke. “You didn’t leave?” Her voice was dry and rough, but she seemed relieved to see him.

Luke bent down and pulled a chair to her side, so that it was easier for her to look at him. “Of course not, Silly Ole Bear. I promised that I wouldn’t leave you and I didn’t. I was just outside waiting for the doctors to finish up.”

His pet name for her, “Silly Ole Bear”, taken from the Pooh novels he’d read to her before bedtime, seemed to reassure her even more. She looked around. “Where are Mom and Dad?”

Blinking at Natalie, Luke looked up at his folks. Lily shook her head sadly at him and then when back to stroking her daughter’s head. Trying to sound calm and reassuring, Luke said, “They’re right here, Nat. They’re close by in the room can’t you see them?”

Natalie looked from him to her parents. She stared at them for a moment and then moved back to Luke. “They’re not here. I pretended they were in the car with me when we were coming to the hospital. But then when I felt really awful, you were there and they weren’t anymore. So I know that you’re real and they’re just pretend. You won’t leave me alone until Mom and Dad really get here, right?”

Luke looked over at the doctor, feeling both frightened and surprised. Dr. Endicott gestured that he finish up and that they adjourn to the hallway. Luke gave Natalie’s hand another squeeze. “Of course, I’m right here and I’ll be around as long as you need me, okay?” He watched as she seemed to relax into the pillows. “Listen, I need to talk to the doctor in the hallway for a moment, you stay right here and do what the nurse says, okay?” He paused a moment, “You can see the nurse right here, her name is..” he turned and read her tag. “Nurse Wendy McCall.”

Natalie looked at him strangely, as if he were joking and then said, “Of course I can see the nurse. I’ll do what she says and I’ll wait for you to get back.” She closed her eyes and seemed to drift off.

They sat for a few moments to assure that she wouldn’t awake and then walked into the hallway.

Confused, Luke looked at his parents and then the doctor. “I don’t understand, how can she not know?”

Dr. Endicott gestured that they go sit in the waiting area, where they were joined by a waiting Jack and Meg. “Basically, what Natalie has is called febrile dementia. Her high fever has muddled her thinking. And the only thing she can fixate on is the last ‘real’ thing she remembers, which is you helping her when she had the seizure in the car. Part of her mind wants her parents to be there, so she sees them. The other part knows that she tried that before and that the illusion didn’t work. Her mind and body are too tired at this point to fight it out, so she just goes with what she knows is real: You.”

The doctor looked around the group. “I know this is difficult, but the confusion will pass as soon as we lower her fever. What we need to do now if diagnose the real problem and treat it – then the symptoms will take care of themselves. Luke,” he turned to speak directly, “You didn’t see Natalie before you came in the room. She was quite agitated and giving us a lot of trouble. Her heart rate was high and she was struggling with both her IV and her situation. As soon as she heard and saw you, her heart rate dropped to a much more normal level and her brain activity stabilized. She was calmer, and right now, with her body in such a state, calm is what we need most.”

Luke rubbed his eyes in frustration, “But can’t I just explain to her that Mom and Dad are right there? If I brought them in…”

Dr. Endicott shook his head. “The problem with that is that you’re asking her to break out of what she KNOWS – that you’re there and real – and accept that what she thinks – her parents are there – is real too. One, she may just become more agitated which could worsen her condition, or two,” he paused, “Two she could remember this one time and then when she reawakens forget what you told her. You’d have to keep reminding her over and over again. And until we figure out what’s causing the fever, she needs to stay as still, rested and calm as possible.”

“So what do we do?” Holden, who still had his arm around Lily, looked to the doctor.

“Well, first we’ll move Natalie to a room of her own. And we’ll wait for the first round of tests to come back. We’ve drawn blood and will run some other cultures to see if we can see what’s making her so sick. In the meantime, she’ll be monitored, kept hydrated and we’ll wait.” Dr. Endicott stood, let me have the nurse finalize the arrangements for a room and then you can sit with her.” As he started to walk away, he turned back. “No more than two adults in the room at a time and for now, if it’s possible, I’d suggest that Luke be one of them. She’s comfortable with him and it will allow her to feel calm and safe.”

Holden and Lily both nodded and then turned back to the group. Holden, still supporting his wife, looked over at Luke in concern. “I don’t know what you had planned for today, but…”

Luke cut him off before he could even ask, “Of course, I’ll stay. If it helps Nat, there isn’t a question. The only problem is you usually have me stay at home with Ethan and Faith when there’s a problem. Are you sure you don’t want me at the farm?”

Meg broke in, “No, look, I’ll go out to the farm and wait for Faith to come home. I’ll explain what happened and stay until we have more news.” She looked at Lily, “Where is Ethan?”

Lily, her voice quivering from stress, gestured to Jack. “I was at Carly’s when Jack arrived, she and Sage agreed to keep an eye on Ethan until we knew what was going on. I’m sure she’d be happy to keep him overnight, but I didn’t leave any supplies there…”

Meg reached over and grabbed her hand. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll swing by, pick up Ethan and take him back to the farm. I’ll be fine with Faith and him.”

Meg and Jack took their leave with promises to check back in and Luke was left sitting with his parents. “Hey, I’m going to run out to the parking lot and make a quick phone call, okay? I know they don’t like us using cell phones in the hospital. But I’ll be back in a few?”

Smiling softly, Lily nodded, and then reached over and hugged her son. “Tell Noah we said hello and that we already miss him at the farm.”

With a slight blush, Luke walked toward the doors.

He stepped into the fresh air and took deep breath. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon in Oakdale, and he hated that his little sister wasn’t out playing in it. Hitting his speed dial, Luke waited for Noah to answer. After the third ring, the phone went to voice mail. Luke debated leaving a message, but couldn’t see breaking this kind of news in any other way than directly. He settled for, “Hey, it’s Luke. I wanted to talk to you, I miss you and will try again later.”

Sighing, he shut the phone and returned to the hospital.

The next twenty-four hours were a blur to Luke. He went from taking turns sitting with his parents at Natalie’s bedside, to reading to her to keep her calm. She became much more agitated when he left the room, especially if she was taken in for tests, so he started accompanying her to parts of the hospital he’d hoped he wouldn’t see again for a long time. She had x-rays, a CAT scan and several other tests that he could remember from his previous injury. It was odd being on this side of it, but through it all he talked to keep her fevered mind focused, read to keep her calm and did the best he could to represent his parents, even if they were standing right there.

Sunday morning found him slumped in the waiting room. His dad had dragged his mom downstairs for a quick breakfast and Natalie was being given a bath and fresh sheets. He was leaning back in the chair, just about to doze off when he heard, “Darling, you go to sleep like that and your neck will feel like it’s broken.”

He allowed his eyes to slowly open to find his Grandmother Lucinda, in all her perfectly coiffed glory, standing in front of him. “Grandmother!” He stood and gave her a strong hug. “I thought you were in New York for the weekend?”

She pulled back and gestured from him to sit on a nearby bench and then pulled him snugly to her side. “That’s why God created private jets, dear. They can leave at a moment’s notice.” She leaned over and kissed him on the brow. “I’d have been here last night, but your mother didn’t call my cell, or leave a message with the staff. I found out what happened when I called the house earlier and Meg answered. Now tell me what’s going on.”

By the time Holden and Lily had returned, Luke had filled Lucinda in on all the details for the past day. He felt like it had been much longer than just a day, but she assured him it was still Sunday morning.

After greeting her daughter and son-in-law, Lucinda turned back to Luke. “So, where is your young Prince Charming? I’d have assumed he’d be sitting here with you.”

Luke huffed in embarrassment, “Prince Charming? Grandmother, please. And Noah is at home, I tried calling yesterday but we didn’t connect. I’m hoping to get a chance to talk to him later.”

Raising an eyebrow at Lily and Holden, she asked Luke, “And you’ve eaten breakfast?”

Sheepishly he shook his head, “No, I’m really not hungry.”

Sighing, she strengthened her embrace. “Darling, that just won’t do. Especially if you’re going to be here for hours yet. I’ll tell you what. We’re going downstairs. You will go outside, find a nice quiet spot and call your young man. I’ll go and get some real coffee for all of us and some muffins or something for you.” Luke started to object, but she just kept talking right over him, “No, you forced your parents downstairs a bit ago, didn’t you?”

Holden answered for him, “Yes, he did. He said we both needed food and a break and that he’d take his turn when we got back.”

“Good!” Lucinda stood and tugged Luke’s arm. “They’re back and you’re coming with me. No arguments, I won’t listen to them anyway.”

Before Luke could really say much he was being pulled toward the elevator, struggling to keep up with the quick click of her high heels on the hospital tile.

Lucinda practically dragged from the hospital and she made a quick survey of the grounds to find him a bench. She was in her CEO-I’m-In-Charge-And-You’ll-Do-As-I-Say mode and he knew better than to argue. And as tired as he was, he was trying not to laugh at her. She was taking care of him -- just as she did everything else -- with strong focus and a take-no-prisoners attitude.

Settling him on a park bench, she stood waiting. He looked up at her questioningly.

“Dial!,” she said sternly smiling, “I’ll just wait until he answers and then walk over to Java.”

Luke shook his head in bemusement and pulled out his phone. He hit the speed dial key and waited. Noah answered on the second ring. Sighing slightly in relief, Luke said, “Hey! I’m glad I caught you. I really needed to talk to you and hear your voice.” Distractedly he waived as he grandmother walked down the street toward town.

Luke could hear dishes in the background, as Noah answered, “Hi, I’m glad you called! I got your message yesterday, but your phone must have been off last night.”

Luke closed his eyes to picture Noah as he talked. He could see him slumped in a chair, in his Sunday sweats with coffee and the newspaper. “Yeah, Saturday was a bit of a trial. I wanted to..”

“Hey, hold on, will ya?” Noah’s voice sounded distracted. Luke could hear Ameera in the background, but couldn’t make out her words. He waited in frustration for Noah to deal with whatever it was and was surprised at how quickly he returned to the call. “Looks like someone’s at the door, probably the ICE guy again, to check up. I’ll call you later, okay?”

Luke’s heart dropped, he needed to talk now. “Noah, I really need…”

Noah didn’t seem to hear him, “Thanks for understanding, I’ll talk to you in a bit.”

And then there was dial tone.

Luke sat and stared at the phone for a moment. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He knew he was exhausted. He knew that this wasn’t the end of the world, that Noah didn’t know why he had called. But at this point, he didn’t really seem to care. He was tired, afraid for his family and, he finally admitted to himself, he was lonely. The one person he wanted most in the world was pretending to play house with somebody else -- a woman. And now, no matter how generous he tried to be, how much he tried to understand, after years of thinking he’d never have anyone of his own, he was violently reminded what it felt like to have had something and lose it. To have that taste of what could have been and then nothing.

Okay, so maybe he hadn’t actually lost Noah, but it was certainly beginning to feel that way. He woke every morning alone, he went home alone, they couldn’t relax in public and when he really needed the comfort of having someone listen to him and care about him – he was left hanging.

After three tries of “I will not fall apart”, he gave in and allowed a few tears to escape. His head ached, his heart hurt and he really wanted to just run off somewhere and lick his wounds. And yet he couldn’t. Pulling himself together, and afraid of being caught by his grandmother on her return, Luke got up, went into the hospital and washed up in the men’s room. After splashing his face with cool water, he decided a brisk walk around the grounds was in order.

Once he knew he had calmed down and was ready to face his family, he entered the hospital and headed back towards the waiting room in pediatric ICU.

TBC in Part 4

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