miracle (miracle) wrote in luke_noah, @ 2008-01-26 00:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | -[luke/noah]-, fanfic, fanfic: [atwt], fanfic: rating: teen&under, » by: dedebee |
'Eulogy' (One-shot)
Original poster: dedebee
Author: dedebee
Characters: Luke & Noah
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1220
Spoilers: Takes place before the 1/25 episode
Summary: Luke and Noah pay their respects to Dusty Donovan.
Notes: I was inspired to write this, feeling that Noah should have been at Dusty's funeral. It takes place between Dusty's murder and the January 25th episode. It's just a short little piece in which both boys pay their respects and some previously unknown facts come to light for Luke. As always, I welcome any comments and feedback. Enjoy!
Noah sat outside the Thompson Building on the Oakdale University campus as he waited for Luke’s Creative Writing class to finish. Normally he would have waited inside, especially on a cold winter day like this, but the masses of people rushing from one class to the next was too much for him. He wanted to be outside where he could be left alone today, deep in his thoughts.
“There you are!” said a voice from behind him. Noah turned around to see Luke standing there.
“I was waiting for you inside,” Luke said. He sat down next to his boyfriend. “What are you doing out here, besides freezing?”
“Just thinking,” Noah replied nonchalantly. “How was your class?”
“It was alright. The professor’s kind of flaky, but she seems nice enough. She’s already given us this really cool assignment. She wants us to--“ Luke stopped talking as soon as he noticed Noah wasn’t paying any attention to his words. Noah just stared down at the ground, motionless.
Luke waved his hand in front of Noah’s face. “Uh, hello!” he said. “Anyone home?”
Noah blinked and shook his head. “Sorry,” he replied. “You were saying?”
“What’s with you today?” Luke asked. “Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine.” Noah responded without any noticeable inflections in his voice. He purposefully looked away from Luke, not wanting to make eye contact.
“You're such a terrible liar,” Luke said, smiling. He put his arm around Noah and became serious. “If something’s bothering you, you can tell me. You know that, right?”
Noah remained silent for a few seconds. “I know,” he finally replied.
“Then what is it? What’s gotten you so upset?”
“It’s...it’s Dusty.”
“Oh.” Luke pulled his arm away slowly, an unexpected reaction to an unexpected response. It had only been a few days since Dusty Donovan, his mother’s friend and former lover, had been murdered at Oakdale Memorial Hospital and it was only a short time before Luke had learned his mother had overdosed on pills at the hospital as well. Luke wondered if he was too preoccupied with worrying about his mother to notice how upset Noah might have been.
“I’m sorry to bring it up, Luke,” Noah said, breaking the silence. “I know how you felt about Dusty, and what happened with your mom and everything.”
“No, no, don’t be sorry,” Luke replied. “I mean, it doesn’t matter how I felt about him. I didn’t want him to die or anything like that. And he was one of my mom’s oldest friends....” Noah nodded in response, but ceased talking. Luke could tell his boyfriend was both upset and determined not to open up.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Luke asked. Noah shook his head and said nothing.
Luke tried again. “Do I need to get a pen and some paper so you can write it out?” he joked.
Noah wanted to laugh, but held it in. Still, he couldn’t help but smile. His eyes met Luke and once again fell under their spell.
“I don’t want to burden you with my problems, Luke,” Noah said, turning away once again. “You’ve already got enough to think about, with your mom being sick and everything--“
“You’re not burdening me, Noah,” Luke answered. He took Noah’s hand. He was afraid the gesture might be too public for his boyfriend, but Noah didn’t protest.
“I might be new to all of this,” Luke went on, “but I think that’s all part of being in a relationship. You’re my boyfriend, Noah. Your problems are my problems.”
After an extended silence, Noah broke down.
“It’s just--I guess I’m sad,” he said, his eyes welling up a bit. “Dusty was nice to me. He didn’t blame me for what my father did to him. He was a good guy. He was...he was....”
“Your friend?” Luke chimed in.
“Yeah.” Noah kept his head turned away.
Luke wasn’t sure how to respond. He flashed back to the previous week when Noah confessed to him how alone he felt. Losing a friend, even one like Dusty Donovan, couldn’t heal that feeling. Luke didn’t know how to help his boyfriend, and it was heartbreaking for him.
“Well,” Luke finally said, “I think Will and Gwen said the funeral was today. Do you wanna go? I mean, I’m sure our professors will understand....”
“I don’t think I’d be welcome.”
“It’s a funeral, Noah, not a party. You don't need an invitation.”
“I know, but--but I barely knew the guy.”
“So what? It doesn’t matter. He was still your friend. You have just as much of a right to grieve as anyone else.”
“Even still...I don’t think I’d be comfortable. All those people....”
“Well how about this? Why don’t we go after our classes? The funeral should be over by then and we can go pay our respects....”
“I’d like that.” Noah once again returned Luke’s stare. He kept his hand firmly intertwined with Luke’s.
“Good,” Luke said. “Now can we go inside or something? Because it’s really, really cold!”
“Let’s go,” Noah replied.
--------------------------
Luke and Noah headed for the church immediately after their classes. It was empty inside, and the funeral had been over for a while, but Dusty’s pictures were still on display. They both walked towards the altar.
“It’s so surreal,” Noah said.
“What do you mean?” Luke asked.
“I know I didn’t know Dusty all that well, but....” He paused for a moment. “I just can’t believe someone can be gone, just like that. We won’t run into each other in Old Town anymore, or at Al’s, or the Lakeview....” His voice trailed off.
Luke put his hand on Noah’s shoulder. They stood still for a while, as Noah stared at the various images gathered of Dusty. Luke kept his eyes focused on his boyfriend, trying to gauge his thoughts.
“I was gonna leave town,” Noah suddenly said.
“Huh?” Luke asked, puzzled.
“After my dad...hurt you...I wanted to leave Oakdale,” he replied. “I thought you blamed me for what happened. And maybe I blamed myself a little bit.”
Luke remained silent while processing Noah’s confession. He had no idea Noah wanted to leave Oakdale after what happened with his father.
“Anyway,” Noah went on, “Dusty convinced me to stay. He was the one who told me to go see you, even though I was afraid you didn’t want to see me.”
“And when you fell out of your chair, on Halloween,” he continued, “I was so scared that I pushed you too hard. Dusty told me I shouldn’t take it out on myself. He was the one that said I should stay by you, no matter how afraid I might be.”
Luke’s eyes widened. “I--I had no idea.” He took another look at Dusty’s pictures and began to see him in a new light.
Noah bowed his head. “I didn’t know you for too long, Dusty,” he said solemnly, “but I’m glad I met you. And I’ll be forever grateful that I did.” He lifted his head and looked in Luke’s direction.
Luke turned to face Noah. “Me too,” he said, coming close to tears.
They shared a brief moment of silence.
“I'm ready to go,” Noah said. Luke nodded.
The two boys began to walk towards the exit until Noah stopped halfway.
“Goodbye, Dusty,” he said, bowing his head one last time. He took Luke’s hand and they walked out of the church together.
THE END