Hannah J. Flynn (hannah_flynn) wrote in low_tide, @ 2009-11-14 00:12:00 |
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Entry tags: | hannah flynn |
On Clothes
Dear Diary,
Let's talk for a moment about clothes.
When people book vacations with Carnival Cruiselines, they're instructed to bring elegant clothes for dinners and cruisewear for hanging about the ship. What is cruisewear, you ask. Though it's never spelled out (I've checked the website), I'll tell you. It's khaki shorts and polo shirts for men. It's capri pants and sleeveless tanks for women. Both genders wear sun visors and sandals. Trust me on this! I've got a front-row seat for the style-challenged, upper-middle-class armada of uniformity unloading on the plaza every day.
I'd like to know why Carnival institutes a dress code for people's vacations, anyway, which they paid for. What are they gonna do if you show up in ripped jean shorts and a halter, kick you off the boat? Deny you service at the lunch buffet? I don't think so! They need people paying 7 bucks for watery rum drinks by the pools, which, from what I hear, are never those huge splashy ones from the commercials. (I do hear they have excellent Broadway revues onboard, and I wouldn't mind catching one of those.)
Anyway, it's classist! It's all an elaborate way to disenfranchise the fringe element from their whitewashed, conservative family fun. Nobody should have to hit American Eagle to buy a vacation wardrobe. Vacations are for saying, "Screw business casual! I'm wearing a mumu."
I hope someday there's a massive protest onboard a cruise ship, where they leave port and everybody changes into hot pants and tube tops. Even the men. I'd give them free leis. Maybe even lays, if I felt frisky. Balls of steel deserve a reward.
This is Hannah, signing off.