Hannah J. Flynn (hannah_flynn) wrote in low_tide, @ 2009-11-25 10:35:00 |
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Entry tags: | hannah flynn |
Confessions of a Bad Girl
Dear Diary,
My grandmother always said it's bad for your soul to be jealous of people. For all I know, it might even be bad for your skin. Idioms like 'green with envy' had to come from somewhere. I think she was being sort-of hypocritical, because I noticed a certain glint in her eyes whenever our old neighbors, the Cowlings, took the burgundy Cadillac their son bought them out for Sunday drives. But there was probably some truth to her advice and that's why I've decided to be bitterly resentful instead. The biggest danger there are all the crow's feet that may result from giving the evil eye, but I moisturize daily so I think I'm covered.
You may wonder whose existence twists the business end of a thorn in my side. I'll tell you. It's Tiffany Lancaster, romance novelist, whose latest bodice-ripper bumped my novel off the 'Spotlight on Locals' table at The Next Chapter.
(I'd thwack you, Mallory, except you're with child.)
Where is this mysterious woman? No one knows! Or at least, directory assistance doesn't. She's unlisted. The 'about the author' page in her novel states that Ms. Lancaster lives in Southern Florida, which could be anywhere from a condo in Miami to a shack on the Everglades. Still... small world, Ms. Lancaster, small world. And I swear by all that's holy and unholy that my next book will take you down.
Well, not literally, just out of the locals spotlight.
All of this makes a girl ask the inevitable question. What does she have that I don't, other than favorable reviews and higher book sales? If you want my opinion, it's formula. The masses demand predictability in their love stories. I find that utterly depressing. It's the kind of reasoning that makes people buy tickets to chick flicks starring Matthew McConaughey (bleh...gag me, but not sexually). I'd rather write about love developing in unexpected places, like on a space mission or in the midst of a 7.0 earthquake.
Face it, Tiffany. The 'star-crossed lovers in the royal court' riff is over! So are the following themes:
-A civil war spy and a sympathetic field nurse
-A half-breed Native American and the sassy daughter of a rancher
-The captain of a ship and his first mate, who's actually a girl dressed in boy clothes
-The highland warrior and the sister of his greatest enemy, whom he kidnaps
You've been put on notice.
This is Hannah, signing off.