He nodded at the accusatory words in the very-nearly-mom voice. He'd kissed her. He'd sat around for days stewing in his own shit, trying to come up with the right words to tell Mary everything that had been on his mind, and then when that failed, he'd kissed her. He'd thought that it was the best way to convey what he was feeling, a spur of the moment thing that hadn't been given very much consideration. And now, now he was sitting in a bar, wondering what had happened.
"I know." Johnny said, feeling that the truth was still the best route here. "I know that in the future..."
He waved a hand. That hand, were it able to actually talk, would have conveyed his knowledge of what Jo would become to Mary. The vast and complicated story of it all. It might have even let slip that he was also in that future. Thankfully, though, the hand could not speak and it just appeared to waggle in the air.
Johnny knew, rationally, that Mary hadn't run off to try to find a way to let him down easily, and that she'd left so that they could both consider what was happening, not everything that he'd been beating himself up for. Yet he couldn't help but wonder if at the root of all of it, he was the cause of her disappearance. Logic was not at home in his head right at that moment.
"It's worse." Johnny said, standing up again. This time, instead of a bottle, he came back with a newspaper and set it before Jo. He'd been doing his best to not think about what he'd read, but now it was swirling around in him. The front page splashed his current fears. "I know Mary can take care of herself." He repeated this again, too. He was like a broken record today. "She fights a lot of shit and comes out on the other side. But Jo, she doesn't know how to handle humans any better than you do. And this is out there."
It wasn't an insult, he didn't mean it as such. He had a feeling Jo would understand that. Mary and her family were good at monsters. Johnny was good at people.
The revelation of the newspaper to Jo made him sink back into the darkness of his glass, where he'd been when she'd walked in. If Mary was in the hands of a serial killer right now, he'd never forgive himself. His brain kept pulling him back to Katie and Mandy. Making connections and taunting him. He couldn't help but imagine Mary's fate being theirs. It ached in his heart.
Johnny took a moment to himself, as if Jo wasn't even sitting beside him. She'd said they needed to look for Mary, and she was right. He knew that. He just needed one second of wallowing in the worst. One second to let out the agony and horror of the worst possibility. He needed to sit in it before he jumped to action. He poured himself more whiskey and took it down in a long swallow.