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Piotr Nikolievitch Rasputin (iskupit) wrote in lost_world,

"It usually depended on the situation in which they were discovered." Piotr shrugged. "While it is most preferable to be able to interrogate them always, sometimes time or moment did not let us. Sometimes, they just needed to be killed immediately."

It was always regrettable, but a little difficult to ask questions in the middle of a firefight, or while dangling off of a ledge somewhere. There were a few regrets that Piotr had, and he knew other agents had them as well. He also knew that the same was true for the opposition. They'd gotten a few of their own spies past the front gates.

He nodded with extreme amounts of understanding when Cas began to talk about not understanding emotion and what to do with it. And it just furthered the feeling of camaraderie and strengthened the bond that Piotr was beginning to form with the man. He'd never known anybody else in his life that knew what it was like to not have a grip on something as human and normal as feelings and emotions.

"When I got to the school the KGB dumped me in, I discovered a lot of things that I did not understand. Personal relationships, when it was best to stay quiet about something, what might hurt the feelings of friends. How to have friends at all, really. Trust. Love. Even the more intimate things were not a concept that I really get. Sexuality I understood, that is simple, that is basic nature. But to be more involved than that was not something I had any experience with. They did not, after all, raise me to be a person. I could affect the things that I saw, the subterfuge that I was trained in. And I think that I am still awkward in most things." He smiled a little in the direction of the ex-angel-now-honorary-mutant and poured out more vodka for the both of them. "It takes time, and it takes the help of others, but it is possible to learn. Since it seems like you have the desire to, I think you will have no problem in doing so."

He took down the poured drink quickly. "The best thing that I was taught when it comes to what goes on inside is to just let it happen. Feel it when it is there. Do not try to analyze it or interpret it. Even if it feels like it will crush you completely, it is better to have it in the moment. A lot of the time it will diminish by itself and then you will be able to work out what needs to be done. And I have learned through that method that even the ugliest of emotions is a beautiful feeling."