I can’t shake the feeling that despite having just gotten here, I’m trapped. The island itself doesn’t seem like the worst place in the world to be stranded for presumably what will only be a short while, and yet I have to constantly stop and take a deep breath to keep from panicking. The circumstances certainly aren’t ideal, but things could be worse. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I fared a lot better than some of the others, and because I’m mostly okay, there’s no time to stand around and feel sorry for myself. I have to keep moving: keep helping, because if I don’t, I could easily drive myself crazy with worry.
Truth is, I’m not as strong as I pretend to be.
Someone will come looking for us. Planes don’t just disappear out of the sky. We crashed, and when entire flights go missing, there are searches for the survivors. My sister and the families of the other passengers won’t let us all vanish without a trace. Someone will eventually come for us. We just had to wait it out until that time comes.
So why do I feel as if I’ll never leave this place? Better yet, why do I feel as if I’ve already been here for ages? It ‘s an unsettling notion that terrifies me despite my efforts to appear as calm and collected as one can be in my situation. And why do I feel as if I know some of these people already? More specifically Kate and the unconscious man we’ve been tending to together. There are others too: this one sandy-haired blonde guy in particular. It’s funny that the very sight of him relaxes me and nearly brings a smile to my face each time I see him, even if it’s from a distance.
There’s another man … he’s also been unconscious for an alarmingly long while. Strangely I feel both drawn to and repulsed by him, and I don’t have the slightest idea why. To the best of my knowledge, we’ve never even spoken. Or have we? Either way, I’ve kept a close watch on him as well.
These individuals continue to stir up a wave of emotions that confuse me immensely and at the same time make me all the more curious to discover exactly why I feel so connected to them. Do we share a history? And if so, why can’t I remember? Or maybe I do … maybe I can remember if I try.