InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Everything you know is wrong."

lily evans (ungilded) wrote in loremrpg,
@ 2011-04-24 01:16:00

Entry tags:

james potter, lily evans, sirius black

Characters: Lily Evans, James Potter, Sirius Black, various NPCs
Setting: Hospital Wing, night of Saturday, 23 October
Content: PG-13
Summary: James wakes up!...only something's a little off.

Lily had realised...well, about a month ago, really, that she cared a great deal for James Potter. It intensified when the pair of them got together, but it took her until this incident for all the implications of that to hit her. Sure, caring about someone was all well and good when the pair of you were both happy, but when the other person is lying in a hospital bed, well, that has an effect on you. For Lily, it meant she was positively sick with worry all the time, from that night when Professor McGonagall had woken her up, until now.

At first, she had thought it would be temporary. Yes, James looked absolutely awful as a result of what the Whomping Willow had done, but the Healers said that he wasn't in any real danger, and he should be awake soon. Then, the deadline they had given him had passed, by an hour, six hours, twelve hours, a day, two days, three. The sick feeling in Lily's stomach only increased as time passed, and she was fairly certain she would have actually gone mad if not for Sirius.

Perhaps that was a strange thing for her to think, considering that Sirius Black was usually more involved in driving her mad, but it was true. He understood precisely how she felt to see James lying in that bed, and not only that, but as he had told her the day before, he was blaming himself on top of it. He'd been there for Lily when she cried, he'd completely reassured her when she found an apparently faked love letter from James to Mary MacDonald in the common room, and she wasn't sure she could have handled all of this without his support. In addition, she knew James would be glad to see the pair of them getting on when he woke up.

If he woke up, that is. Lily certainly hadn't seen much of a change in him, except that his bruises and wounds had gradually healed. Of course, that was not including the fact that the Healers had taken James off of most of his pain potions to try and wake him up, starting Friday evening. For the last day, James had appeared to be in a great deal of pain, which had only made Lily, Sirius, and James' parents more upset and on edge than they had been before.

At the moment, things were relatively tranquil, the sort of awful normalcy that the four of them had fallen into. Madam Pomfrey had checked on James about five minutes ago, and nothing had changed for him. The more-or-less permanent residents of the room were avoiding looking at him in his painful state as much as possible. Mr. and Mrs. Potter-or Charlus and Dorea, as they had asked Lily to call them-were having a quiet discussion over the Evening Prophet, and Lily was beating Sirius at wizard's chess, though only by a little. She tended to win their games often because he made rash moves and she was more strategic.

Out of nowhere, James made a noise. The four immediately turned to look at him, but after a moment of tense silence, returned to what they had been doing. This had happened several times since the removal of his pain potions, so it in itself was no cause for alarm, but they all looked at James whenever it did, just in case.

Suddenly, it happened again, and then his eyes opened.

Lily and Sirius were sitting closer, and Lily was faster, but only by a second. She took James' hand, and on his other side, Sirius had snatched his glasses off the nightstand and slipped them on his face, well familiar with how blind his best mate was. As Dorea and Charlus rushed towards the bed themselves, Lily asked, "James? Are you awake?" the hope in her voice clear, but desperation biting at the edges of it as well. There wasn't much more she could take.

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1/2

stagswagger
2011-04-27 07:26 am UTC (link)

Over the past several days he’d been back and forth between an unfathomable hell and hovering near the ceiling of the hospital wing looking down at his unresponsive body. Who he was didn’t matter. All that he knew was the excruciating pain surging throughout his body with every rise and fall of his chest. He was trapped in a nightmare, a seemingly endless bout of Crucio cast at him both night and day. That’s how it felt anyway, though in reality he was only trapped in that alternate reality for the past half an hour. Time dragged on when it was unbearable and one didn’t know anything save the pain. Still this was a sign the boy was coming around. To where he wasn’t too sure, but he hoped he’d get there soon.

As each minute passed, the pain medications burned through their course. The Healers were no longer taking measures to provide him with comfort for fear the boy would never arouse. The fears of the others were lost on him. All he knew was the bitter, cruel pang of loss. He felt sorry, but for what he wasn’t sure. The lingering guilt was overwhelming, and with each impulse gone awry and tensed nerve, he knew he deserved this. That didn’t make it any more bearable though. The closer he got to waking, the more his body began to sweat and his skin grow clammy. Of course he didn’t know anything of what was going on outside of his person. He only felt the sensations in the context of the realm he was currently in. The sweat was like bullets of acid pelting against his skin in the context of that world. What he’d done to receive the punishment, the boy wasn’t sure. All he knew was that constant, incessant reminder: “you deserve this.” He succumbed to it.

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stagswagger
2011-04-27 07:26 am UTC (link)

Just when it began to feel like the darkness was inevitable, that he had possibly already died and passed on beyond what he thought he knew, a deep breath caught the boy and brought him back to reality. It felt something like that of having the wind knocked out of you, a scary experience he never wished to repeat. With both hands clinging the sheets, he tried to sit up, but to no avail. Perhaps it didn’t work because his brain hadn’t caught up to him yet? His eyes weren’t focusing properly, so something had to be off. It was then he realized he wasn’t alone. A redheaded female said something, though he couldn’t quite make it out at first. His senses were just becoming aware of this new reality. He could feel her hand, though, and his eyes shifted down to look at their intertwined hands as best he could without being able to move his head. Then another hand came near his face, causing him to jump slightly. In a way it was a relief to see his reflexes were kicking back into their natural state, but he still didn’t like this. Clearly this wasn’t him waking up from whatever horrible nightmare he’d been stuck in, or else he would know where he was and who these people were. The pain, though unforgiving and brutal at best, was still more tolerable in the presence of these individuals, who he assumed were supportive of him or else the concern wouldn’t have been so distinguishable on their facial features. When the glasses were placed over his eyes, the boy’s gaze shifted to the tall, lanky boy who owned the hand that had brought his vision back. His own eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the face curiously, wondering how he knew exactly what was needed to help him see. He opened his mouth to ask where he was, but nothing came out. His thought process was sidetracked by the surge of pain once again. Jerking in his bed at the unexpected jolt, he closed his eyes briefly again before mentally focusing on calming himself down. A few deep breaths, and he was able to loosen his grip on the ginger girl’s hand. He didn’t release it just yet though, enjoying the comfort it brought him in the midst of all this strangeness.

When his eyes fluttered open again, the boy noticed two other faces peering down at him. They didn’t look any more familiar than the first two, but they had similar looks of curiosity and concern, relief and pain written on their features. The woman seemed to bear a slight resemblance to the boy who had placed the glasses on his face, so he assumed they were kin. What was beyond that, he couldn’t be too sure. Shifting his eyes away from the brunette woman’s bloodshot eyes, he glanced back to the young girl nearest him. She seemed to be the most attached to him at this point, at least physically, so he figured she was a good person to address. Stifling another bout of pain, only allowing the evidence to creep up in his jerky words, the boy forced something intelligible out. “Is this real?” It didn’t make much sense to ask such things because he had convinced himself even if it were a dream the characters would tell him whatever his mind wanted to hear. Even so, it was worth a shot.

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ungilded
2011-04-27 07:38 am UTC (link)

Lily's first thought upon James' awakening was that he looked confused. Sure, it made sense that he would be disoriented-he had been out for days, after all, and he'd been through a lot. But he seemed to be seeing their faces as if for the first time. Still, the nagging worry his confusion caused was nothing compared to the relief she felt at having James back with her. It was as if a giant weight had been lifted off her shoulders; she felt like floating.

When he jerked, suddenly, Lily was jolted out of her worries. Immediately Lily squeezed his hand back with equal ferocity to his own grip, her other hand coming to grasp his hand too. He was apparently still in pain. Lily wanted to get Pomfrey, and get him a potion for that, but she couldn't bear to tear herself from his side just yet.

Lily felt James' shudder of pain through their connected hands, and furrowing her brows in concern, reached up the hand not linked with his to gently cup his jaw. His words confused her, though. "Jamie, of course it is. You're back, thank Merlin, you're back." The relief was audible in her voice and apparent from the grin that nearly split her face, and though she sounded close to tears, they were clearly tears of happiness. Just to hear James' voice after sitting here wondering if he would ever wake up for what felt like years was a huge comfort for Lily.

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chienderace
2011-04-27 07:55 am UTC (link)

For Sirius, James' trip to stay in Mungo's and subsequent stay in the Hospital Wing was an excellent exercise in guilt. Sirius was, for the most part, pretty good at eliminating all sources of guilt from his life, justifying things with "[s]he deserved it" or "I was honest, I didn't do anything wrong". In this situation, though, where he had come terrifyingly close to ending two of his best mates' lives, well. There was just no justification for what he had done.

Remus' forgiveness, unexpected as it was, had been a helpful salve. That, combined with the surprising rapport he and Lily had struck up when forced to occupy close quarters, had helped Sirius maintain some semblance of good humour. For once in his life, he was actively thinking of others, and he knew that the last thing anyone needed right now was him in a strop, so he followed Lily's suggestion and did his best to try and keep everyone's spirits high.

For most of the week, it had worked. He was letting Lily win at wizard's chess (or that was what he was telling himself) on Saturday evening, trying not to let the rain hitting the windows dampen his falsely cheerful mood, when out of nowhere, James was back. Sirius knew that James would be confused, and also that he was going to be absolutely blind, so while Lily rushed to grab his hand, Sirius had the presence of mind to get his best mate's abysmal vision taken care of. He was glad to see the looks of relief on Dorea and Charlus' faces as well. Everyone was just so happy to have James back with them.

The first thing James said, though, struck Sirius as odd. It would have been more like James to swear at the general state of the world. Instead, he questioned reality. "C'mon, if this were all your dream, Lil would be naked," Sirius joked as usual, shooting a cautionary glance towards Charlus and Dorea. They didn't seem to have noticed; instead, they were having a moment of silent communication. Sirius was well used to it, for it was what he often did with James, but he wasn't sure what it was about until Charlus pressed a soft kiss to Dorea's temple and strode off quickly, apparently to find Madam Pomfrey and get a potion for James.

After noticing that, Sirius returned his eyes to James. Almost casually, he tried to force entry to James' mind, with the leglimency they had been practising. What he found was almost nothing except confusion. He certainly didn't see any of the linked memories that were usually so prevalent in a mind. Sirius decided he must be doing the spell wrong, and shrugged it off, instead allowing himself a proper smile at the fact that maybe he had cocked things up massively, but at least he hadn't actually killed anyone.

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stagswagger
2011-04-27 08:35 am UTC (link)

As the soft hand cupped his jaw, James involuntarily winced before locking eyes with the redheaded girl once more. It was then he began to pick up on some of the most captivating features he'd ever seen, at least he convinced himself of that much. Surely if he'd ever experienced a girl with such beauty equal to hers he would have remembered! His eyes still sought hers out, as if desperately hoping to find more information behind those piercing emerald eyes, but no such information came. Still the boy smiled, mostly because they were and he thought that meant it appropriate. When the girl addressed him as 'Jamie' he caught on that this was his title. "Jamie," he repeated softly to himself, squeezing her hand again. The name didn't ring a bell, but he figured whether or not this world he currently resided in was legit, he needed to play the part to ensure his optimal level of comfort. Jamie forced out an elongated breath as he strived to keep his cool about the pain. Though he didn't know who these people were, he could tell they didn't need any more stress added to whatever was plaguing them at this point.

Then the long-haired boy interjected with a statement Jamie found rather uncalled for. He wasn't sure who this 'Lil' was, but judging by the look the boy had given the couple at the foot of his bed, it appeared to be one of those two. He assumed his counterpart was referring to the woman considering that's who he kept looking to and 'Lil' seemed more of a feminine name. Still Jamie couldn't quite piece it together. Why would he have dreamed for the older lady to be completely in the buff with someone like the girl currently holding his hand as another option? He did the reasoning, and from what he could gather thus far either he was a creep who messed around with taken women or he wasn't quite understanding. Shifting his eyes back to the boy, Jamies' body jerked again before he grimaced and suffered through his next words. The boy knew better than to just ask people their names because they'd just think him loony. Still he had to know! These people had been waiting for him. Surely they had a reason for waiting there, right?

"So sorry, but... do you mean to tell me I fancy her?" Jamie retorted, motioning with his head in the direction of the chatting couple the other boy his age had glanced to just earlier.

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chienderace
2011-04-27 08:45 am UTC (link)

Sirius' laugh at James' question was far from his usual bark-like, raucous laugh. Instead it was tentative, uneasy. James had first repeated Lily when she said his name, and then asked if he fancied his own mum? As if he didn't know perfectly well who he fancied and that that was his mother he was asking about?

Either James was playing an awful joke which was not even the least bit funny, or there was something very, very wrong, and Sirius didn't think that a joke like this was James' style at all. A feeling of dread began to wash over Sirius once more, but as usual, he tried to brush things off with a joke, hoping James would cut it out.

"Prongs, what are you on about? Lil," Sirius said slowly, gesturing toward the girl holding James' hand (and if her features were any indication, she was thinking the same thing Sirius was). He gestured next to Dorea as he continued, who was heading back over to the bed once more as he spoke. "That's your mum you're talking about. I'm the one who hits on her, remember? Knock it off, mate, it isn't funny. We've been worried sick about you. You've been out nearly a week."

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stagswagger
2011-04-27 09:03 am UTC (link)

Jamie was confused by the laughter, but not near as much as he was by the next title the boy bestowed upon him. 'Prongs, now what the hell could that mean? Does it stand for something?' With his free hand, he reached up to his forehead and pressed his fingers hard against his skull. Try as he might, he couldn't will himself to piece things together. Judging by their reactions to him, he should have known a lot more than he did, and frankly he was concerned himself. This dream certainly wasn't going according to plan, if it was in fact a dream. If what they said was true and this was reality, he had a right mess before him. "Lil. Short for 'Lily,' no doubt?" he questioned the redhead this time, giving her a slight smile in an attempt to encourage her. The look of dread on her face made him feel sick to his stomach. As the other boy chimed in again, James looked toward the older woman he was gesturing to. "You hit on her? My mum? But I thought-" James' hand dropped down to his side again as he looked back and forth between the aged woman and the young boy speaking to him. He wanted to ask who the boy was at this point, slightly concerned about the fact his mum was under the boy's pursuit. Though initially he thought the shaggy haired boy to be on his side, this made him question his judgment. Clearly if the boy messed around with his own mum it was serious!

There were so many things flooding his mind at this point, questions that had currently been left unanswered. Where he was, for starters. Why was he there? What exactly had managed to cause this confusion? "That's my mum, my dad just left, you're... not my brother? And Lil, she's my... girlfriend?" Jamie pieced together, glancing back to the ginger girl to try to make sense of it all. With his free hand, Jamie reached up to her face to run his hand over her cheek, hoping that would provoke his memory. At least he was getting somewhere in recognizing he was completely lost, but that didn't help him get there any faster. "What happened to me? Why was I 'out' for a week?" he finally asked again, allowing his hand to drop from Lily's skin before turning back to the boy.

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ungilded
2011-04-27 09:21 am UTC (link)

Once James seemed confused at Sirius' typical teasing, Lily knew something was off. The more he spoke, though, the more the realisation seemed to hit her, and it made her feel sick all over again. So James couldn't remember them. They were some of the people closest to him, so if he didn't know who they were, he likely didn't know anything. Lily bit her lip, unable to get any solace even from James gently caressing her face. The strange mix of that familiar touch with his clearly confused expression was nothing short of heartbreaking, and she let the hand on James' face fall so she could wipe away a tear that fell from her eye before she even noticed it.

It was as if all the hope she had been feeling was wiped away in an instant. Sure, James was both alive and conscious, which was a drastic improvement, but he didn't remember anything. She couldn't help but feel hurt all over again. Bitterly disappointed, Lily swiped at her eyes with the back of her left hand, her right hand still tightly clinging to James'.

She was distracted by a sudden noise. Sirius had stormed out of the hospital wing. Lily sighed frustratedly and ran a hand through her hair, pushing the loose waves out of her face. Of course Sirius felt awful, they all did, but his tantrum was really not going to help the situation. That, and now answering James' questions fell to her, because Dorea and Charlus were having a conversation a few feet away. Apparently Dorea had heard enough of the conversation to assess the situation and seemed to be growing increasingly frantic.

As always, as the world collapsed around her, Lily rallied her strength, and forced a smile for James. "Um, well, Sirius, the one who just left, he's-he's as good as your brother. Those are your parents, yeah, and I'm-well, it's complicated right now, between us, but I was your girlfriend," she explained, trying to keep herself from crying more as she glossed over the events of the past few weeks. "I think your dad went to get Madam Pomfrey-she's the nurse-to get you a potion. I'm sorry none of us moved quicker on that," Lily apologized, running a hand through her hair again. "Sirius is the only one who really knows why you're here, I think. All he's told me is that it's his fault. The rest of us just know you were in a bad accident. That's why you're in so much pain right now."

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