Rita Skeeter (skeetbeat) wrote in lockewood, @ 2009-06-29 02:35:00 |
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James Potter, the local broomstick crafter, has finally released his first fully operational flying broom. He has, for reasons unknown, named it the J. S. Potter Dragonfly. The limited stock has dwindled down considerably and only a few remain, but this reporter wonders just how operational these broomsticks will prove during a quidditch match. Or, better yet, if there will ever be a quidditch match now that Lily Luna Potter, the quidditch team organiser, has departed from Lockewood. *** In lieu of Helga Hufflepuff's departure from Lockewood, Salazar Slytherin has temporarily resumed overseeing the students until a more suitable instructor arrives. Slytherin refused to make any comments. *** For a limited time only, The Ink Well will be slashing its prices in half. If you want to be inked or pierced, now is the time! | |||||
Are you having problems with your partner in bed? Do you want to try something new with your partner, but don't know how to ask? Has your sex become all hum and drum with no fun? Now is the time to seek advice for all things sex-related from the one and only Rowena Ravenclaw! Submit all inquiries to Skeet Beat HQ where they will be conveyed and answered by our brand new columnist. | |||||
Have you missed me, dearest readers? It has been far too long since I've given you all the scoop, but I have much to share! If you're anybody who is anybody, you won't be caught dead at a Molly Weasley party. Unless you fancy switching genders or getting old. It appears that a certain Lucy Weasley has a thing for older gentlemen. Do beware of Orion Black; the man is wasting no time in currying favor to a future dark wizard. Could it be that Albus Potter and Teddy Lupin have decided to call off their secret affair? They aren't the only two who seem to be having love woes. Hugo Weasley still can't accept that he's lost the heart of the woman he loves to Theodore Nott. Louis Weasley fancies the lead Weird Sister, but Kirley Duke seems to have more important matters on his mind. Such as hexing bugs into monsters. On a slightly more positive note, Neville Longbottom has stamina and a preference for loose women, ladies. Oh, and Godric Gryffindor, do report to my office. Be ready for your punishment. |