sam evans ( werewolf ) . (tamest) wrote in light_of_may, |
As a general rule Sam wasn't in the business of doing what he wanted to do because it had been years since he had really known what that was. It was much more comfortable for him to do what others wanted him to do, that was much easier to figure out, not only because they were in the habit of telling him but because he could usually read their body language -- and therefore their intentions -- much easier than he could decipher his own emotions and desires, both things he had been taught not to indulge in or pay much attention to. He knew when he felt like reading or something else like that, things he could do on his own that didn't detract from anyone else. It was when someone else was involved that things became more complicated. Sam shook his head and glanced up at Jo for a moment, showing her without words that he didn't feel like she was demanding it of him, that he would like to do it. It was for her benefit though, there was no doubt about that. Sam was getting the impression that Jo didn't want him to feel pressured but if anything he operated better that way, being told what to do rather than asked what he wanted to do. It was simpler that way.
You're not going anywhere. Sam had been about to reach out and accept the offer of the paper when she said that and he couldn't help the hesitation, the way the optimism in Jo's voice gave him pause. Was she really so certain of that? How could she be so certain of that? Sam didn't even know if he would be able to stay, if various people would allow him to do so, but Jo sounded so confident about it. If he had been capable of the emotion he might have envied her for that certainty. A hint of a smile touched his face, just for a moment or two, when she told him she had signed it and he looked down at the drawing again, at the image of himself she had made while he was sitting there.