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August 21st, 2004

silver_dragon

02:33 pm Got this from sabrichan REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE New York, NY 6:00 PM - Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell 6:30 PM - Pledge of Allegiance 6:35 PM - Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment) 6:45 PM - Salute to the Coalition of the Willing 6:46 PM - Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really Necessary?" 7:30 PM - Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan 7:35 PM - Trent Lott - "Re-segregation in the 21st Century" 7:40 PM - EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner 8:00 PM - Vote on which country to invade next 8:10 PM - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh 8:15 PM - John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children 8:30 PM - Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only) 8:50 PM - Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future 9:00 PM - Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' That Man" 9:05 PM - Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders" 9:10 PM - EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires 9:30 PM - break for secret meetings 10:00 PM - Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas 10:15 PM - Carl Rove Lecture: Doublespeak Made Simple 10:30 PM - Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: How to Squint and Talk Macho Even When You Feel Squishy Inside 10:35 PM - Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare and how to screw up the English language 10:40 PM - John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt 10:45 PM - GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell & Condi Rice 10:46 PM - Ann Coulter's Tribute to "Joe McCarthy, American Patriot" 10:50 PM - Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy 11:10 PM - Hilary Clinton Pinata 11:20 PM - John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult 11:30 PM - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again 11:35 PM - Blame Clinton 11:40 PM - Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage" 11:41 PM - Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore 11:50 PM - Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself 12:00 PM - Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

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