Link could feel his body tense while he waited for Daniela to speak. He hadn’t been this anxious in years. Even his fingers began to nervously tap the table until he realized what he was doing and stopped. He felt like he could throw up right there, but luckily he still had control over his gag reflexes. He didn’t know what he was hoping to hear. Honestly, that was kind of a lie. Somewhere deep inside him, he knew what he wanted. He wanted to hear that Daniela had really loved him, at least in some part of herself and that she still thought about him. He had long ago reconciled himself to knowing that because she hadn’t gotten an abortion, she had at least felt something for him at the time. That used to be enough.
He drank his coffee in silence as she started to talk. Wow. Daniela had used his given name. He felt like his stomach had dropped through the floor. Whatever she had to tell him must be serious, but he wanted to know. He had to know. It wasn’t enough anymore to just wonder and suppose. He needed answers. He needed concrete facts to sort out who he really was.
He listened intently to the beginning of Daniela’s story. She was in the military, in Iraq? He couldn’t even imagine going through that. Link had friends and even colleagues who had enlisted, but it was so far from his own world of privileged society that he couldn’t come close to trauma on that level. When she paused, Link nodded his head slowly. “That’s really brave,” he said, feeling totally inadequate in her presence. “Go on,” he pleaded. “Please. I really need to hear this stuff. All of it. Whatever you’re willing to share with me.”