So, Luther broke the fourth-wall in this log. Shrew and I laughed about it and crowned Luther the King of Awesome until I proposed a crack-fic. Because it's what I do and I adore breaking the fourth-wall more than...um. Cheesecake. And I really like cheesecake.
And I wrote it. And thought I'd post. Because clearly you deserve a laugh at how crazy my brain is. With an experience from yours truly, have Luther breaking the fourth wall:
Were people reading his thoughts as well then? Luther shook his head. "The line between fiction and reality is too thin these days." He sighed though, shaking his head. "I know."
Joanie opened her mouth to reply and froze mid-movement. Luther frowned, yet waited...though nothing changed. "Joanie?" he asked, putting a hand out to her shoulder. Not a slightest movement from her was made and he realize she wasn't breathing either. "What the fucking hell-"
A sudden crash to his left pulled him from his thoughts. Instinctively, he bent over to pull a knife from his boot, then pushed himself to his feet. He wasn't going to let anything happen to Joanie, she couldn't get hurt and what the fuck was that noise- and he found himself staring at where a pile of plaster was. The wall that normally had been the edge of the building seemed to have vanished, revealing another room that was nothing familiar. His grip tightened on his knife and he stepped forward - not into the other room, but suspecting this had something to do with the building's magic. Great, couldn't they ever catch a break?
In the room - which with its bunkbed and clothes strewn across the floor could be a bedroom - a girl was typing furiously at a laptop. Though she faced him, even her spazzed out hair couldn't hide her headphones or how absorbed she was at whatever she was writing. Great, whoever she was in the building was unaware of it rearranging itself. "Miss?" Luther called, toeing the line between the rooms. "Miss?" She didn't look up and he glanced back to the frozen Joanie before cupping his hands around his mouth. "HEY!"
It was enough to make her jump, banging her knees against the desk as she looked up. She yanked the headphones from her ears, looking over her shoulder, "I'm coming, I'm coming - I'm coming-" And then she looked back and saw Luther. There was a long drawn out pause before she facepalmed. "You broke the fourth wall, fuck, I can't believe you broke the fourth wall. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO REPAIR THAT AFTER IT'S BROKEN?"
Luther could only stare. "The....fourth wall?" Nonsense then. Probably one of the newer residents who thought the building was only crazy instead of supernatural and crazy. Even better. "I didn't have anything to do with this, this was the building-"
"Nope," she interrupted. She got up from her desk, walking over him to eye the line between them. "You did it, I didn't think you'd break it that much when writing the scene but as I tell people I don't control you half as much as you'd think." She looked up to him and he realized she seemed vaguely familiar. From where? "Anyway, Luther if shit blows up when I step over I blame you. Though frankly it's not that surprising considering Bellum lately." She muttered, "Stupid people off trying to kill themselves." She stepped over the line, reaching a hand out to Luther's good wrist. Nothing happened.
"I don't understand," Luther said slowly. None of it made any sense, because he was his own person - this was part of the building's crazy obviously. He hadn't been doing anything, just debating whether they were fictional or... It dawned on him. "Fuck."
She gave a slightly apologetic smile, patting his wrist. "Sorry. You might want to sit down. Joanie-Baloney is going to be out for a bit as she's not mine. Usually when this happens, you end up crossing over into my brain...but considering the chaos there at the moment it's better if you didn't." She paused. "Though frankly, you're more likely to get laid if you go there. Menthe would adore you. She goes for the unloved, unlucky, and …some other un-word types." He had no idea who Menthe was or what it meant to cross over into someone's brain, but Luther sputtered anyhow.
"You don't - this is - I'm my own person, and I shouldn't have to realize you're my author-" Or whatever it was called. His head began to hurt from it all. Fuck, it had just been a random train of thought - it didn't have to be serious. He looked over the girl once more, taking in her messy hair and age. And he didn't mean to be sexist, but how the hell was his author a woman almost young enough to be his daughter? It was mortifying. He took a seat, laying down the knife on the couch next to him while the author sat criss-crossed on his coffee table.
"Most of my kids do," she said. And then with a grimace she shook her head. "You're not quite a..regular character either. I guess you could call me an author though you're not in a book. You're...in another medium. Which I would explain except I think we should get the basics down first." A hand went out and Luther took it gingerly. "Hi, I'm Kore and I'm your creator. Mom. Sister. Something or other." Her nose wrinkled a bit. "No, I don't know who your father is though technically it could be Victor Hugo. Though the idea of that kind of sex is kind of horrifying. Ew, necrophilia."
Luther blinked and she went on. "You're...um, well currently in a scene with Joanie Wicker. As you know. And while you may be thinking that you've lost all free will it's isn't likely. It's kind of like a God person, if you believed in that-"
"I don't," he said firmly. She rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, I know, I created you and you're not musical-verse. Trust me. I'm reminded often enough, because I need you to sing Stars one of these days, just to appease the musical fans in my head. Blame Erik and Lotte."
Erik rang a bell, though from where he didn't know. He frowned on Lotte. "Lotte is the Christine on the twelfth floor who defends the Phantom, isn't she?" His mouth tightened into a grimace. The Phantom was still his choice for who had gone and tortured Ella...
"She is, but she's not doing that anymore." Her tone grew stern and despite himself Luther's back straightened. Fucking mother figures. "And you're not to go blaming as the world's going to end this week. You wouldn't get a chance to catch him anyway and much as I love you, I kind of need Lotte to not have that level of brain-breakage. Give the cute one a break. She never did anything to you aside from fangirl from afar."
"Wait, he did do it?" Luther nearly rose to his feet, grabbing his knife again but Kore reached for his wrist. "I mean it, don't. Look, you're not even supposed to know that. I hate breaking the fourth wall, aside from Lotte you guys had all been good about keeping it up."
It took him several intakes of breath to calm down, but he did manage it. He settled back down, pulling his wrist from hers before giving a glare. "How can I have free will? And why this building - fuck, why any of it?" She was responsible for it all then - everything that had happened. "Criminal," he muttered under his breath, though he made no move to attack her. Kore sighed. "I created you, yes, brainstormed you, begged for a premade and wrote it up with Maira-" She looked up, adding. "She's another writer. We call ourselves 'muns' short for 'mundane', because compared to you lot, we really are. She's got Nina who is Eponine." She grinned going on, "The girl's bad ass and a third of the game's Charlie's Angels with Hannah and Joanie. At least that's what Shrew and I..." She trailed off, frowning. "I'm rambling, shoot."
He raised a hand to rub at his temples. "Go on. I'll ask questions after. If I can process it." His grimace said otherwise, but he had the sneaking suspicion she would know if he told any lies - not that he did it that often.
"We-ell, I think you have your own free will. I didn't think you were going to kill yourself after the Full Moon but you did. I think you're fully formed and I'm kind of...the camera man on the set. If we're talking movies, you know? I'm just following your moves and recording them. Making them look all pretty. You do your own thing, I might poke you in direction or the other but you're pretty much independent." Despite himself, Luther's shoulders became less tense. That was reassuring in a way that was...frankly indescribable.
Kore cracked her hands before going on. "A group of people write online with their characters. Every character in the building has a different author - no more than four have the same one. I have you, Lotte, Joss, and Xavier." At Luther's confused look, she added. "Joss got bitten by a vampire, Xavier is 1003. And to keep my sanity, you're not learning anything on him. Now that boy doesn't listen to me at all."
She pointed to the frozen Joanie. "Joanie's got Shrew who's pretty Goddamned awesome. Hell, everyone at Bellum is but Shrew gets bonus points as she pushes me out against my paranoia." Luther could only raise a brow at that. "You don't seem to have that issue," he said slowly. The girl snorted. "Because I can be honest with you and not worry about you hating me secretly. It's no secret."
There was a pause as Luther considered that. "No. I'm confused. Fairly put out but....I have no reason to hate you." Not quite.
The girl stared at him for a long moment before launching herself at him. Luther wasn't that used to hugs and the sudden bear-hug from the girl - along with her monstrosity of hair - made it fairly uncomfortable. "You need to know you're a bad ass then and I'm wicked proud of you." She gave him one squeeze and let go. "You're on my list of most important kids. Top three even." She smiled, something near bitterness in her face. "I've really enjoyed writing you and playing you."
It wasn't something he...expected to hear and he stared for a moment before nodding. "...Proud, really?" After the suicide and everything - it still seemed like a foreign word. The mun nodded tightly before going on, "But I don't want it to get to your head. You have room to grow still.
Hopefully I'll get a chance for that, but if worst comes to worse, you and Joanie will go work at a pizza parlor and you can be Marie's new man."
...and that didn't sound that good. Luther winced, wondering who Marie was. "You were talking about...Shrew?"
"Yeah." She put her arms above her head and stretched. "Shrew has Briax, Gina, and Archer."
Luther raised an eyebrow. "Archer? Archer who I-" He shook his head. There seemed to be something sick about that. Kore nodded, before going on. "Anyway...um, all of us write together. Someone came up with the idea and we each showed up in turn with new characters. I don't really control the big building stuff. And the only things...like deaths I've been a part of are some NPC's. A couple people when you time travelled that's it." She gave a shaky smile. "Besides, I would never do it in real life. I'd probably get caught."
He glared, even though he suspected she was joking. Even if she wasn't smiling. "Then...why wasn't I aware till now? You said some were." And a hint of old jealousy came to mind. Why couldn't he know? Wouldn't this have made life simpler?
"Mainly because I wanted to keep my sanity. The more people on the fourth wall side, the crazier it gets." Kore shrugged. "I think you could head over sometime though. I have this image of a Girl's Next Door reenactment and I think you're adore Bruce."
"Bruce Wayne?" He raised a brow. "You have-"
"The Goddamn Batman?" She smirked slightly before getting up. "Yeah, he's here. Sometimes. Lotte's terrified of him though I don't know why." Her tone was far too innocent though and she patted him on the shoulder. "Come by after this scene. You might remember things then. I'm going to try to write this off as a temporary moment of insanity so Joanie doesn't have a freak out." She glanced at the frozen witch before compulsively going over and hugging her. Luther opened his mouth to protest - and promptly shut it. An exasperated sigh escaped him as Kore pulled away.
"Anyway, swing by. And in case you don't, here's a couple words of advice." She held up one finger. "1. Go to the masquerade and please, please, please go get laid. Two years is too long and I've been told that Maddie will forgive you if you do." Luther raised a brow - Maddie? Why did Maddie matter? He hadn't talked to her in...oh. Something clicked in the back of his mind, a mixture of unfamiliar memories coming too. "Oh.”
She nodded slowly, smile spreading as she raised another finger. "2. You should know that Katya didn't leave because she hated you. Get over it, please. You just have some really bad luck." That was even more surprising but he couldn't say anything. He shut his mouth, before nodding tightly. He'd head over and inquire more after. He was beginning to notice that feeling where Kore was being pulled away - if he glanced to the left, he saw the wall was beginning to build up again.
Kore raised another finger. "3. Realize that a lot of people do love you. You are important, okay?" Her smile grew tight before she walked to the fourth-wall. "Just try and hold onto that. It helps." She raised a hand to wave at him, before stepping over the rebuilding wall. There was a slightly cheeky grin as it grew higher and he gave a slow wave back.
"Good-bye..." The wall hid her from view and like that this knowledge was gone. All that was left was a hint of knowing something more - being slightly more aware of things as he suddenly heard breathing behind him. With sudden speed, he was back in his seat, paying attention to Joanie as she talked about Sam. If his head tipped sideways and he looked at her oddly, there wasn't any reason for it beyond the usual.