WHO: Millicent Bulstrode and Draco Malfoy WHEN: Backdated - Last Wednesday Evening WHERE: Millicent’s Townhouse SUMMARY: After years, Millicent comes clean with Draco WARNINGS: Adult language, mentions of infidelity, and sex ahead. STATUS: Incomplete/Closed
There weren’t many times in her life that Millicent Bulstrode was nervous. Not really. She watched from the shadows and then acted when the time was right for her. However, this was one of the rare situations where she was. Legitimately nervous. And she had reason to be - if she was honest with herself. Looking back, her choice had been wrong. So very wrong. Telling Caleb that Gwen was his daughter. Not leaving him when she was pregnant with another man’s child.
But putting things back into context - it made a bit more sense. She and Draco had been in a totally different spot in life. He was trying to make it work with Astoria, she was trying desperately to save her marriage. How either of them thought those goals would work while they were still shagging each other and spending their free time working on ‘projects’ and ‘debating over tea’ - she still wasn’t sure. But then there was Gwen.
And leaving Caleb at that point - she stood to lose access to Alex and that was unthinkable. So she tried and tried to hold out. But when she left Caleb, she and Gwen had had a chat. And Gwen knew she wasn’t Caleb’s and now - so did Caleb. Her son was of age and still in her life. But Draco’s wife was in poorer health than ever. And telling him then wouldn’t have helped anything or anyone. So it was her and Gwen - and they were more than okay. But now Gwen was of age. And she had promised - when that time came - she would tell her.
But first - to tell Draco. So here she sat, in her sitting room. A book on the dark potions of the Middle East lay open on her lap. A fire danced in the fireplace, casting shadows on her and the glass of whiskey on her side table. Gwen was off on an overnight for the evening, and Millicent wanted to get this done while her daughter - their daughter - was out of the house.
Draco was hardly surprised to be invited to spend the evening at Millicent’s; even with Astoria effectively having moved out of the Manor, there was always the risk of discovery. Millie’s was a far safer bet in that regard. He was more casually dressed this evening; shirt open at the neck, a jumper to ward off the chill, more casual trousers. There was no fancy dinner he needed to look his best for, and evenings spent together on Millie’s couch were altogether more pleasant when he was comfortable.
He stepped out of her hearth, smiling as he bent to kiss her cheek.
“Good evening,” he murmured, his fingers skating along her jawline.
Giving him a somewhat distracted smile, Millicent pressed a kiss to the palm of his hand, “Good evening to you as well.” Did she let this wait? Did she take the easy way out again and just not tell him at all? Chewing on her lower lip, Millicent could see this - her one lasting relationship - the one person in the world that understood her - and she could see him walking away from her and she wouldn’t blame him.
But she was praying he stayed.
“Sit down Draco, I have some news I need to share with you.” Everyone - other than Caleb, Gwen and herself - thought that Gwen was Caleb’s daughter. He hadn’t wanted the scandal that his wife had cheated and gotten with child - and if she didn’t say a word about it - well, he made keeping a relationship with her son that much easier. But now, now she was going to break that promise to Caleb.
Draco’s good humour faded slightly; Millie was distracted, and worried. It was rare that she chewed on her lip like that, he’d hardly seen it since school. He sat down on the couch beside her, one foot tucked under himself, his arm along the back of the couch. He was relaxed; at home here.
“Will I need a drink for this news?” He said, only half-joking. It had to be serious for Millie to bring it up like this; to be waiting for him like this.
“I think a drink might help yes.” Without really thinking about it, she got up and made him a drink, then rejoined him on the couch, still seeming distracted and not entirely herself. Handing him his drink, she turned and sat cross legged on the couch, facing him.
“Okay I need you to go back in time with me a bit Draco. Do you remember when I got pregnant with Gwen? Astoria was getting worse? That truly rough period of time?” She met his gaze, and hoped he followed along because she still wasn’t quite ready to say what she had to say aloud.
That was rather ominous. He’d been joking, and she hadn’t even smiled. Taking the drink from her, he turned to face her a little more, balancing his drink on a bent knee. He nodded slowly, not sure precisely where Millie was going with her choice of conversation.
“She was ill,” he murmured quietly. “Complications from having Scorpius.” That had reared their head, again and again. Not something he wanted reminded of, particularly. “I didn’t see you for...months.” And he’d been entirely miserable the whole time.
“And when you did - I was pregnant. And we ended things briefly so I could try and save the sinking ship that was my marriage.” Massaging her own temples, Millicent stood up and began to pace, “I need you to understand Draco, that I...that what we had and have - it’s amazing, it makes me happy, it completes me in a way - I honestly didn’t know….” Her voice trailed off as she paced by the fire, running her fingers through her hair.
“When Gwen was born, there were...complications on my side. The Healer said it was because she was my second and sometimes it happened. But you know me….I am not completely happy till I have all the answers.” She pinned him with a look, “So I started doing some investigation on my own….”
Draco inclined his head. Yes, he knew Millie. She was never satisfied until she had all the answers when it came to anything in her life; Draco doubted she would have been any different with her children. Or herself, for that matter. The only part of her life she’d ever been lax in was taking care of Caleb, and Draco could hardly fault her for that. The man was a pig, and Draco had done wonderfully well out of that fact.
“What sort of investigation?” He asked.
“Into the reasons for the complications...and that’s when I came across something. Something that ….” Crossing her arms over her chest, she stopped and stared into the fire, “Have you ever made a choice that is so very hard to make, made a choice that you regret but do for the reasons - and at the time it seems so clear. And over time - the reasons that were so clear become hazy…”
“Draco, I made a mistake so long ago….so very long ago and I need to make it right. And I don’t know exactly the best way to do it…”
Taking a large sip of his drink, he set his glass aside.
“Honesty may be a good start, as foreign as that may feel to Slytherins,” he said, only half-joking. He tilted his head, watching her as she stared into the fire, the light flickering on her face.
“And of all the people we know - you know I understand regret. And difficult choices.” She had been the one he had gone to after getting the Mark, after all. The first he’d told.
“I had a child that wasn’t my husband’s Draco. I gave birth to a child and let him and the world think it was his. And part of me knew the entire time….the pregnancy, the birth...but I didn’t say a word. Because then it wouldn’t be true.” She ran her hands over her face and licked her lips.
“I had a baby with the one man I didn’t think I would ever have a child with, I hid it from him and the baby and I kept it a secret so that Caleb wouldn’t try and turn Alex against me….and now….” She threw up her hands, “Now it’s eating me alive more and more every day…”
Picking up her glass, Millicent took a healthy sip of the amber liquid, “I don’t know how to make it right….”
Draco sat very very still. He watched her, not a flicker of emotion showing on his face as she spoke. She was dancing around the truth now, and though he suspected what the truth was, he needed to hear her say it.
“This is one of those times,” he said softly, silkily, “that I need you to be very clear.” He was more alert now, far from the relaxed picture he’d presented when he had first arrived. “You’re saying that Gwen isn’t Caleb’s, yes?” He waited for her to nod before continuing. “Who’s her father, Millicent?” She would have heard this tone of voice before, but it was very rarely directed at her.
Millicent looked him in the eye, “Gwen is not Caleb’s daughter.” She shook her head, “And you can’t tell me that you haven’t thought about this - how different her attitudes are from Caleb and Alex. How more in tune she is with myself….and her father.” Hearing his tone her brow shot up and her lips thinned slightly.
“Gwen is a Malfoy, Draco. She is your daughter.” Holding up her hand, “And before you go all ice and fire on me - you need to keep a few things in mind - your wife and son needed you, you hadn’t hinted at more than shagging at that time and I did what I thought was best for all parties involved.” Her eyes flashed, “When Caleb found out - he threatened to keep my son from me Draco. If Astoria threatened to keep Scorpius from you - what would you have done?”
“Does it matter?” He said coldly. “We’ll never know. You didn’t give me that option.” He was furious. His voice was brittle, ice-cold. Tension sang through every nerve in his body, jaw drawn taut enough that his teeth nearly squeaked as they ground against one another. He stood, walking over to the fireplace. He couldn’t sit near Millie just now. Not after this little revelation.
“No, I don’t suppose it does.” Her voice was just a cold, just as brittle, “I promised Gwen that when she came of age, I would tell her who her father was. I didn’t want to tell her and have you be in the dark.”
Her glass was loud in the tense room as she set it down on an end table, “I did what I had to do Draco. For my family - and what I thought was best for all people involved. I love you - but I couldn't risk losing Alex. Which turned out to be pointless as his father turned him against me anyway.” Her eyes narrowed at the tense line of his back, “And yes, it’s one of my regrets, but what was done is done. Don’t take your rage with me out on her.”
Draco gripped the edge of the mantelpiece, his head bowed as he stared into the fire.
“You knew,” he said quietly. “You knew how much I wanted another child. A daughter.” Astoria had been so weak after Scorpius had been born; Draco had barely touched her for years afterwards.
“There would’ve been a way. Damnit, Millie, we could’ve made it work.” His heart was aching with the years that he’d missed out on; he wasn’t angry at Gwen, how could he be? It wasn’t Gwen who had lied to him.
“Oh? Think back Draco, you were with Astoria during that downturn in her health. I was terrified that you would take Gwen. That I would end up without either child. And that….” She crossed her arms over her abdomen, “I did know, and it killed me to hide this. To keep it from you. Especially when she started to have your mannerisms, your attitudes…. She is so your daughter.”
Silent tears leaked out, and were hurriedly brushed away, “But now you know. And I am going to tell her before she goes back to school. So then it will be over and I won’t have to shoulder the burden of this….secret anymore.” Wiping at a stray tear, her voice was soft and a little broken, “Draco, I am so sorry. I know you may never forgive me….but I am so sorry. From the bottom of my heart. I wanted to tell you so many times. But I just - “ She took a deep breath, “With every day and then year it just got harder and harder….and I feared losing you both so much…”
“I was weak and made a bad choice.”
Draco turned, looking at Millicent in disbelief. Did she really think him capable of that? That he might try and take her own child away from her? It made him even angrier to think of it. Millie knew him better than anyone, better than his wife - and with his parents dead, the only family he really had left....for her to think so little of him was far more hurtful than any amount of lies.
“I may be no stranger to bad choices,” he intoned numbly, “but you’re right.” Reaching up, he took a handful of floo powder from her mantel. “I can’t forgive you.” With that, he threw the powder into the fireplace, stepped in, and disappeared.