"I -damnit- I.." He looked at Paul pleadingly. "It's done, but it still, still trips me up. M-makes me more n-nervous if I think I'm under scr-scrutiny.. critisism. It is. It was the only, the only thing and if I. If I lost.." He gave a heartfelt sigh. "Jus' give me, give me a m-moment, Paul?"
He needed to calm down, wanted to get back to their happy picnic, and there was no way he was going to be able to do that whilst he was still wound so tight, whilst he couldn't even talk straight. Paul was here, he was wed, he had his job. He was safe. He just needed his brain to remember that, and stop panicking.