Max Davies (familylaw) wrote in lazarustheic, @ 2017-05-28 16:20:00 |
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Entry tags: | !thread, character: max davies, character: siobhan davies, character: terence higgs |
who ? Max and Siobhan Davies & Terence Higgs.
when ? Sunday 28th May, after lunch.
where ? Beech Tree Corners, balcony.
what ? Important discussions about the future.
warnings/rating ? SFW.
status ? Completed in gdocs.
Sadly, it wasn't often that Max, Siobhan and Higgs were all three free for the whole of a Sunday. Max, obviously, took normal weekends, but both Higgs and Siobhan worked less predictable hours at their jobs, so even if a weekend was supposed to be clear, it wasn't unusual for something to come up. Today, though, they'd made it all the way through roast pork with trimmings and dessert, and had moved to take tea, or coffee, on the balcony. Max was happy, which was becoming the usual state of things for him again, after the upheaval of the beginning of the year. He'd always felt privileged to have Siobhan in his life, and had pushed aside any guilt that came with knowing she deserved better than he had been able to offer her. He'd genuinely believed that he'd done a good job of it, because the thought hadn't consciously troubled him often. Still, the guilt had evidently been there, because what Max felt now - what made him feel light and glad - was its absence. Siobhan knew everything, and Max didn't have to wonder whether she would choose differently if she knew the truth.
Higgs, in his own right, brought a great deal of contentment into Max's life. He could push Max, gently, to be more open, and the rewards of that were self-evident. Not only that, but Max was pleased for Siobhan's sake too, knowing that she cared for Higgs just as much as he did. "We've come a long way," Max observed, pushing a plate of biscuits (the kind Siobhan had taught Max to make) towards Higgs. They'd come an incredible distance, Max felt, since January. "And there's still more to come," he added, because having shared something as traditional as Sunday lunch, Max couldn't help feeling, in some small way, like they were making a start on their own family life. It turned his thoughts towards the future, the things that were still yet to be.
--
Sunday lunch wasn’t something the three of them did often or particularly regularly, both because Siobhan and Higgs’ work schedules didn’t always agree with it, but also because often Higgs went for Sunday lunch at his parents house or at his nan’s. He did think that he should, in near future, ask if Max and Siobhan would like to join him. Higgs still hadn’t told his parents about them, though mostly because he just hadn’t, not because he actively didn’t want to. There was no reason Higgs thought they would disapprove, even if he did somewhat think they might worry. Which was fair enough, because he worried about his siblings at an equal measure, only ever wanting them to be happy. They both seemed to be, which pleased Higgs a lot.
He, too, thought himself quite happy. Max and Siobhan were a great deal of nice and they made Higgs feel better about... well, most things, really. It wasn’t anything particular (though, he probably could’ve listed particulars if asked) but rather just everything felt all that much nicer by having Max and Siobhan in his life. The Sunday lunch, the domesticity that came with it, made Higgs think back on the conversation he’d had with Arran. It hadn’t been one Higgs had wanted to have all that much, but he almost felt like he had to do something with it, just because Arran of all people had brought it up. Worried. That felt like a worthwhile reason to do something about it. Even if Higgs wasn’t all that sure how or, perhaps more importantly, if.
Reaching for one of the biscuits that Max pushed his way, Higgs grinned at the other man. “We have,” he agreed, pleased with how much that statement was true. The suggestion that there was much more to come did, Higgs suppose, lead into the things he should ask, almost too conveniently. “Arran asked me something a while back,” he offered as a starter, even if it wasn’t quite the best of introductions (it was one, though, so Higgs gave himself credit for that). “Apparently him and Roger were talking about having kids,” he explained and then chuckled. “Separately, not together, I did ask,” Higgs specified, since all three of them knew how close the friendship between Max and Higgs’ brothers was. “This is a very roundabout way to get to my question,” Higgs admitted, fingers pressing tightly against his cup. “Do the two of you plan to have children?” He asked finally getting to his point.
--
Siobhan was pleased to have both Max and Higgs in her life. They brightened up all the dark patches and accepted her, even her flaws, and just their presence had a way of making all the roughest days seem like nothing. Max's words about coming a long way were very true and they made her smile. "We have," she agreed, nodding.
Her attention moved to Higgs as he started to speak. She chuckled a little at the clarification that Roger and Arran didn't plan on having children together, amused by the thought. When he got to the question that seemed to be the focus of the mention of his brother and Max's, Siobhan glanced at Max. It was something they would need to talk about, she knew, and it was as good a time now to talk about it as any.
"Max and I always wanted children," she said, nodding. "It was an impossibility for quite some time because of my health. We'd pushed it off because we wanted everything to, of course, go as smoothly as possible." She smiled gently at Max because there were likely other reasons that played into the fact that they had no children presently, but Siobhan wasn't unhappy with the way their lives had moved thus far. "Now we have even more to consider," she said, her eyes moving to Higgs. "It's not just the two of us anymore."
--
Max raised an eyebrow at the mention of Roger talking about having children. It wasn't something Roger had ever talked to Max about, though they'd talked about the inevitability of Roger spoiling any nieces and nephews that Max might provide. Still, Max supposed it made sense, seeing as Roger was with Daphne now and had asked her to move in. It was a sign of a more serious relationship than he'd ever had before, and talking about children and the future sort of came with the territory of that. When Higgs finally got to his question, Max frowned, unsettled by the phrasing. He didn't speak up immediately, aware that Terence's past experience required a certain level of delicacy in regard to these things.
He nodded when Siobhan said they'd always wanted children, and then again when she added that it wasn't just the two of them anymore. That had been what troubled him about the way Higgs had posed the question. 'The two of them' didn't really have plans anymore that didn't include Higgs. "I still want children," Max said, finding it easiest to speak clearly about his own desires, rather than the nebulous current state of any actual plans. "Obviously, not immediately." While he might have felt ready when it was just the two of them, it seemed ridiculous to contemplate bringing children into the world together when they didn't live together. "Ideally, we'd all share a house before we took that step." He glanced at Higgs, because he didn't want to sound like he was pressuring Higgs to feel ready to move in. "We haven't even been 'the three of us' for a year yet," he pointed out.
Siobhan, as the only one of them who could get pregnant, was more of a time-sensitive concern, but as a witch with a longer lifespan than muggles, Max didn't think they needed to start hurrying just yet. He frowned slightly, worried it had sounded like he was shutting down the conversation. That wasn't what he wanted at all. "I'm excited to make a new plan," he offered honestly. He didn't think they needed to iron out all the details now, because that seemed premature, but he was more than happy to start having conversations about what might happen in the future. "If that's what you want," he added, glancing at Higgs. Max assumed that if Higgs had been eager to have children once, he probably still was, though he also understood that of course he would be nervous about it given his past experiences. "If you never want children… that's something we'll have to talk about." Max did want children, and he knew Siobhan did, but he did wonder whether either of them were truly prepared to sacrifice the happiness they'd managed to find with Higgs for it.
--
Higgs nodded when Siobhan confirmed that her and Max had always wanted children, that was basically what he'd expected to be the answer. It also made a great deal of sense for why they hadn't yet. The addition that it wasn't just the two of them anymore made Higgs frown slightly. Especially when Max added that ideally they'd all share a house before they had kids. It took Higgs possibly far longer than it should've to realise that Max meant him, too. It was something Higgs had thought about, even back before proposing the arrangement to the two of them, however, that didn't really mean that he had presumed that Max and Siobhan might agree even with the idea. Higgs did nod when Max added that it seemed too early to be discussing it when they'd been together for such a short time. Higgs did recognise that, but he also didn't want to be in the way of any plans Max and Siobhan might've made.
Max's comment about how he was excited to make new plans made Higgs give him a small smile. "I've always wanted kids," Higgs offered honestly. "After Sara and I broke up, though, I never really thought that I'd have a chance to have any." There was the fact that they'd lost a baby and that had been hard, for many reasons, really, but more so than that, before Max and Siobhan, Higgs hadn't really thought he'd ever meet someone he'd want to be with long enough to have kids. "I guess, I just--" Higgs started and then stopped, trying to figure out how to voice what he wanted to say best. "I don't mind if the two of you want to have kids together," Higgs said finally. "But I don't think, I could--" There he paused again not much wanting to voice his worries but recognising that he had to. "I’d like to know where I fit into that, if at all,” he finally admitted. “And it’s fine if not, but I’d just like to know?”
--
Siobhan listened to Max's point of view and could admit that he had some good points. They hadn't been together as a trio for very long presently, but Siobhan could see the future for them already. She thought they'd be going further if things continued on the path they had been thus far. The plan would, of course, need to change from what it had been before with just herself and Max, but she was looking forward to a new plan. She also agreed that she'd like for the three of them to live together if they were considering children, but that was just something that would need to come out as they spoke more.
She looked back to Higgs as he gave his opinions on children and she nodded as he talked about how he'd wanted children. His concerns about where he fit in with children where they were concerned made her features soften. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Max, but as far as I'm concerned, if the three of us were to have a child, however we choose to do that, we would all be parents. No more my child than yours or Max's. That's how I feel about it, at least." She looked to Max to see if he agreed. "I'd want all of us to be equally parentally involved. Fathers and a mother."
--
Max nodded, in full agreement with Siobhan's words. "Of course you'd be involved," he said to Higgs. "Assuming there comes a point that you'd feel… ready to have children with us." He didn't necessarily expect that point to have come yet. He and Siobhan had been together for years, and had therefore had plenty of time to come to the conclusion that they wanted to be parents together. Higgs had known Max and Siobhan, by contrast, for a matter of months. "I realise that's different from knowing you want children in general," he added. "And I realise you might have reservations. About me." Max, as Higgs had met him months ago, had probably not been the kind of person Higgs pictured raising children with. Max knew he'd made progress since then, but perhaps not quite enough yet for Higgs to be comfortable with the idea of Max as co-parent to his children.
"I hope we can talk out those reservations, in time," he offered. Max was hopeful that he could be a good father, and the kind of father Siobhan and Higgs would both be proud to raise children with. "And the details of living situation, and how exactly we'd have children, and what legal measures we'd want to take." Max already had ideas for all those things, but of course he didn't necessarily assume his ideas would be what worked for everyone else. "But essentially, yes, I agree with Siobhan. However we decide to work it out, we want you to be equally involved. If not more so, as I assume you two would be the biological parents."
--
Higgs listened carefully to both Siobhan and Max's answers. Siobhan's words how they'd all be equal if they had a child together made Higgs smile softly because that was a lovely thought. It wasn't something he'd expected, or maybe rather something he'd dared to expect, but he believed her when she said it. Believed that she meant it. The idea, and yes, Higgs was aware they weren't very far into their relationship, but even so, the idea of having children with Max and Siobhan was an appealing one. "I don't have any reservations about you, Max," Higgs told the other man seriously. And truthfully. Higgs knew that Max would try so hard to be the best parent he possibly could be and Higgs had no doubt it'd pay off.
The living situation was something that Higgs didn't much want to go into at the moment, not when they still hadn't talked about the fact that he wouldn't stay the night. It seemed pretty ridiculous to consider any kind of co-habitation when Higgs didn't even trust himself to sleep next to Max and Siobhan. "Okay," Higgs nodded when Max summarised it as him and Siobhan wanting to work things out. He did frown slightly when Max added that it'd be Higgs and Siobhan who'd physically parent any children. "Why?" Higgs asked genuinely confused by the statement.
--
Siobhan listened to Max's comments about reservations and frowned a little. She couldn't speak for Higgs, but she thought that Max had come a long way and any reservations that may have been present in the beginning were likely already gone. When Higgs assured him that he had no reservations, she was pleased to hear it. That, she hoped, would reassure Max that he shouldn't be so hard on himself.
They could always talk about cohabitating at some point when Higgs was more comfortable with the thought. They'd yet to get to a point where he could stay a night over and Siobhan was more than willing to work through those demons with Higgs and Max until they could sort them out.
Max's assumption that she and Higgs would be the biological parents made her blink a little. When Higgs asked him why, she looked to her husband. "That doesn't have to be the case, Max," she pointed out. Even without physically having sex with one another, there were other ways for pregnancy to occur should they want them to. "As little as biological parentage is going to matter, at least to me, in the grand scheme of things, either of you could be the father."
--
Max had reservations about himself, but fortunately he was extremely unlikely to have to turn around and become a father tomorrow. He would have time, while they worked out living situations and everything else, to continue to overcome his own issues. He didn't want to raise children the way he'd been raised, he didn't want them to think there was one set path to being a man - or a woman. And when he did become a parent, he hoped he would have both Siobhan and Higgs to learn from, and to point out when he was going wrong - which he certainly would, but he only had one parenting role model to really attempt to emulate, however unconsciously. "That's very generous," he said, when Higgs said he didn't have reservations. It felt good to know that both of them believed in him, but that was no reason to become complacent, and Max didn't intend to. He would, he could already predict, read all the available literature on parenting.
Higgs confusion was confusing to Max, who frowned back at him. It seemed obvious to him that if Siobhan and Higgs were the only ones having the kind of sex that could result in conception that they would be the parents. Of course he was aware there were other methods, but why resort to those if they didn't have to? "I don't mind," he said, in case that was why Siobhan was offering alternatives. It was, he was sure, partly a reaction against his father. Knowing that Maximilan would mind, badly, Max didn't want to replicate that. It wasn't just that, though. Max genuinely didn't feel he needed there to be a biological connection, for as long as he was involved in raising any children they might have together. "And I thought it might make you feel more secure," he added to Higgs. "Since Siobhan and I are married." If the child - children? - were biologically Higgs', and if their birth certificates stated as such, there would be, Max hoped, less fear that Siobhan and Max could simply exclude Higgs from that. Not that Max and Siobhan ever would, but Max knew that everyone said that at the outset and it wasn't always true.
--
Whatever Higgs had expected of this conversation, he really hadn't anticipated a discussion of who would physically father any children they might have. Partially, because Higgs really hadn't expected for the conversation to get this far but also partially because Higgs wouldn't have really considered that this was something to discuss. When Max pointed out that he didn't mind, Higgs frowned slightly, mostly because he wasn't sure he could say the same. It wasn't that Higgs wouldn't accept any child as his, whether they biologically were or weren't, but he didn't think he could necessarily say that he wouldn't want a biological child, if all things went his way. It made it harder to understand why Max wouldn't mind.
As for it feeling more secure to Higgs, he gave a small nod, because Max did have a point there. As much as Higgs didn't want to think that if the worst things came to worse, Max and Siobhan would cut him out of their lives, it was still a possibility and Higgs wasn't sure what he'd do about that if kids were involved. Or how he'd deal with it at all. It wasn't a very nice thought to concentrate on. "If we had more than one child, we could both be biological parents," Higgs pointed out and then gave Siobhan a look. "I'm sorry, this seems like such a weird conversation, since either way you would have to carry any babies. What do you think, sweetheart? You don't have to." Because she really didn't and Higgs wanted her to know that.
--
While Siobhan could understand, at least partly, that the physical relationship between herself and Max might not be one that would lead to children in its current state, that didn't mean that she wanted to exclude him from being a biological father to at least one child. She didn't want to exclude Higgs from that either, should they get to that point in their relationship. She very much cared for both men and she thought that, even if they would be equal parents despite who fathered the child or children in question, it would likely be a better option that they at least consider both Max and Higgs having at least a genetic link to one child each. Higgs suggestion of essentially the same thing wasn't surprising because she felt the same way.
"I want children," she said. "And should we keep on in the same direction we've been going, I'll want those children with both of you." Siobhan looked between Max and Higgs, then let out a breath. "I can understand, at least from a physical position, that maybe it is more likely that if a baby were to happen, it would be Higgs's child because we're physically intimate, but I think I would rather that each of you be biologically the father of at least one child. I want you both to experience that. I don't think you'll — either of you — will love the child not biologically yours any less, but I think that it's important. I want you to experience fatherhood in every way that you can. If that means carrying a child twice, I'm more than willing to do so when the time comes."
--
Actually talking about things like the number of children they might have made Max feel incredibly hopeful about the situation. As much as he understood there were complications, and things they needed to work out and talk through, it still made his heart leap that alongside that they would also talk about good things - what they wanted, all three of them. It wasn't, Max thought, too early for them to talk in that way - of dreams and hopes and things that might be, without pinning down legal details. He leaned in to press a kiss to Siobhan's cheek, and then mimicked the action with Higgs. "I'm not going to object to that," he said with a broad, genuine smile. He'd always imagined having more than one child anyway. He and Roger might have had their difficulties, but Max still appreciating having a brother, and Max very much wanted to give all the best things to any prospective child.
"I think when it comes to making decisions about how to bring up children, we've proven we can talk through difficult subjects without fighting," he said, looking between Siobhan and Higgs. He gave them most of the credit for that, because it was only from them that he'd learned to talk through anything, really. He wasn't going to go into this assuming what he thought was right. If anything, he was inclined to lean the opposite way and assume Higgs and Siobhan both had more valid experience of happy families to draw from.
--
When Max leaned in to press a kiss against his cheek, Higgs leaned towards him, settling his hand on Max's leg, giving it a small squeeze, before turning to give Siobhan a smile. "Thank you," Higgs offered. "Both of you," he added turning to look at Max as well. "This conversation has gone much better than I expected," Higgs admitted. "Not that I expected it to go badly," he assured because that wasn't true either. He hadn't really know what to expect from it, but both of their assurances had really done a great deal to make Higgs feel better.
"Shall we some cake, then?" He offered. "This is something we can return to when time's more appropriate?" He suggested, since they weren't going to plan having a baby right now, but the fact that at some point they could really did please Higgs. He hadn't expected this, but then he hadn't really expected anything with Max and Siobhan and they both kept wonderfully surprising him continuously.