HIGGS, terence. (higgles) wrote in lazarustheic, @ 2017-04-18 20:21:00 |
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Entry tags: | !thread, character: siobhan davies, character: terence higgs |
who ? siobhan davies and terence higgs
when ? tuesday evening, 18th april
where ? higgs’ house
what ? an evening in
rating ? nc-17
status ? complete
The last four months have been in many ways exactly what Higgs had hoped for and not at all what he’d expected. Even when Higgs had suggested that the three of them consider dating, all three of them together, he hadn’t quite imagined it going the way it had. Mostly because it had gone really well so far. There was, undoubtedly, at least some awkwardness still there, but Higgs felt that they were doing alright at managing it, or at least trying to manage it. Nonetheless, whatever Higgs’ expectations had been, the actual relationship truly had exceeded them. Especially Max. And that was kind of what Higgs’ mind was stuck on for the past few weeks. Max, bless him, was really trying so hard and it was hard to miss, but Higgs felt that it almost overshadowed Siobhan.
When they’d first started this, Max had been the one who’d been most unsure, who’d just about had started to accept his sexuality, who had still found it difficult to recognise that Siobhan wasn’t going to leave him, that she loved him. To recognise that Higgs did find him attractive, wanted him in both a sexual and more than a sexual way. So both Higgs and Siobhan had poured a lot of energy in making Max comfortable. Now, though, Higgs was wondering if that had, perhaps, given them different difficulties.
He’d first noticed it a few weeks back. All three of them had been on the sofa at Higgs’ house after a dinner, Higgs’ hand against Max’s leg and Siobhan’s fingers against Higgs’ neck. There’d been a hesitancy, though, one which Higgs wasn’t sure Max had noticed at all, and Higgs certainly hadn’t brought it up. It had then disappeared as fast as it had appeared and Higgs had forgotten about it. Until it happened again. That was, somewhat, how it came to him tonight, too, if perhaps in a completely opposite way.
Siobhan had come over, honestly mostly to help Higgs figure out what he wanted to do with his curtains. It was a pretty ridiculous reason and the answer had been ‘just throw these in the bin and buy new ones’, which Higgs suspected Siobhan had mostly advised because she’d thought the ‘but I could trim them’ was so ridiculous Higgs shouldn’t bother with it. As a reward for being sensible about his house decor, Higgs had offered Siobhan a glass of wine, which ended abandoned on the coffee table as Higgs kissed down Siobhan’s neck, a hand running over her side and brushing against her breast, layers of cloth between them.
There was a sound that Siobhan made in response that seemed so very keen and that, in the end, was what triggered Higgs’ memory to how sometimes she didn’t sound like that. Higgs let his hand drop to Siobhan’s side, another kiss against her jaw before he shifted just enough to look at her. “You’re stunning,” he told her before anything else even came to mind because she was. “Are you--” Higgs started and then stopped. “Do you want this, Siobhan?” He asked finally.
--
Siobhan knew that she was more hesitant when it wasn't just herself and Higgs. She knew how difficult it had been for him in the beginning and, though more time had passed and he seemed more comfortable, she worried about undoing all the work that had been done. She wanted to touch Higgs more often when they were a trio, but she felt a tingling worry in the back of her mind that Max might take her attraction to Higgs as a negative towards himself. It wasn't that she wasn't attracted to her husband or that she felt anything more for Higgs than she did for Max, but she certainly didn't want him to feel as though she did.
She'd hoped that it wouldn't be noticed and that, eventually, she would find some sort of happy medium where she felt more comfortable and less concerned. Thus far, she thought she'd done fairly well at being somewhere in the middle of absolutely pouncing Higgs in front of Max and completely ignoring him.
She wasn't thinking about any of that, though, when Higgs was there with her alone, kissing her neck and letting his hand tease her breast through her blouse. She couldn't have kept the sound in even if she'd tried. When his fingers shifted and he pulled back, she thought it was just for the compliment that made her smile. The smile flickered out, though, with the question that followed. "What do you mean?" she asked him, blinking. "Yes, of course I want this." Had she seemed uninterested? "Did I do something wrong?"
--
“No,” Higgs replied easily because Siobhan really hadn’t done anything wrong at all. He also was careful to stay close to her, to not pull back further or do anything that might make her question it further. “You’re lovely,” he added since she really was and Higgs thoroughly enjoyed the way her body felt against his. Higgs did rub a small circle with his thumb against Siobhan’s side, shifting on the sofa so he’d be both closer to her but also at the same time less sexually atop of her. “I don’t really mean right now,” he admitted, though perhaps that wasn’t necessarily the full truth. Unlike with Max, Higgs questioned it less if he was being too pushy with Siobhan, mostly because he felt that she actually was more comfortable with sex in general than Max was. That didn’t, however, mean that he didn’t always feel like he was being pushy.
After a moment, Higgs gave a small sigh, but it wasn’t really a sigh of frustration, more just of genuine wish to express himself well with what he wanted to say. “I’ve noticed, lately, that you’re cautious,” he explained. “Not all the time, hardly, but sometimes, when I touch Max or he touches me you... well, don’t,” Higgs explained. “Am I mistaken?” He kind of hoped he was but wondered what that would imply about him if Siobhan really had no idea what Higgs meant.
--
Higgs's clarification made Siobhan look down because, no, he wasn't mistaken. She'd thought she'd been better at hiding it, but it was clear now that she hadn't been. "No," she admitted, letting out a breath before lifting her eyes to meet his again. "But it's not because I don't want this," she said firstly, needing him to be certain of that more than anything. "I just worry," she went on, not sure how to explain her worry without feeling as though it were an entirely silly thing to be concerned about.
"It was so difficult for Max, and in many ways it still is. I just don't want him to think that it's so easy for me to just fall into you, even if I want to. I don't want him to feel that he was or is inadequate or that I'm more interested in you than in him or that you're more interested in me than in him," she explained. She felt she was doing a poor job of getting the words out the way that she wanted them to. She didn't think she was really making a good case for what she was trying to accomplish. If anything, she'd worried Higgs by trying to not worry Max.
"I want to touch you. Now when we're alone and anytime we're not as well," she assured him. "I just don't know how much is too much and it's obvious I've misjudged how much is too little as well."
--
Oddly, Higgs didn’t really feel much better for being told that he wasn’t mistaken, he thought it’d be better than being told he was, but it didn’t really feel better. He did give a soft now when Siobhan admitted that she worried, mostly because Higgs thought they all did. But perhaps him and Siobhan more so, or at least differently, from Max. Max was lovely but Max was also easy to convince of things if you repeated it enough. The doubts Higgs had, and evidently the doubts Siobhan had, were less easy to overcome just by knowing something was true.
As Siobhan started to explain, Higgs moved on the sofa so he could pull her into his lap, mostly because Higgs wanted to assure her that nothing she said would make him want her any less, but also because he just wanted her close. He nodded along her words, fingers sliding upwards from her hip and brushing against the skin under the hem of Siobhan’s blouse. “I think it’s different for you and me than it is for Max,” Higgs offered. “Max loves you but he can’t help that the physical attraction he feels for me is stronger than the one he feels for you,” Higgs commented. It wasn’t something he much wanted to point out but it was still true. “But I don’t, honestly, think he’d feel offended if you expressed wanting me the way he does,” he added, hand sliding from Siobhan’s side to her stomach, fingers doing a very weak attempt at unbuttoning Siobhan’s blouse from inside. It was far more to occupy his hands with something that wasn’t necessarily sexual (though undoing Siobhan’s shirt probably did count at least a little as definitely sexual).
“I get it, though,” Higgs offered softly when Siobhan said she wanted to touch him and that she worried she might misjudge it. “I think I feel that, too,” he admitted. “That I don’t want to somehow make Max feel left out so I try extra hard with him?” Higgs said and then frowned. “I don’t mean not to try with you, though.” He really didn’t. Higgs found both Max and Siobhan equally sexually attractive, but he could see how perhaps physically he was much more conscious of expressing his attraction to Max rather than Siobhan when it was all three of them together. “Sometimes, I also don’t know what to do with the space between you and Max,” Higgs added truthfully. “I don’t know what’s okay and what isn’t.” What Max wanted and what Siobhan was willing to have.
--
Siobhan had been slowly coming to terms with the fact that Max was more sexually attracted to Higgs and so that being pointed out didn't hurt her the way it might have earlier on. She knew that Max loved her and that he was emotionally and mentally attracted to her. That mattered more to her, honestly, than the sexual bit. Navigating how to show her attractions for Higgs, though, without upsetting the balance they'd found had proven more difficult than just accepting how Max felt. "I just worry," she said softly. "And I know I should talk to him about it, I just don't even know how to broach the topic without it coming out all wrong." Siobhan bit her lower lip as her attentions shifted slightly to those fingers underneath her blouse. "I should talk to him, though," she said. That much was obvious.
"I want you both to be happy and satisfied," she told him. "Fulfilled. In every way." Emotionally and physically. She wanted both of her men to feel that they were one-third of a relationship, not a confused outside party to a couple. "I suppose it's more difficult than I thought it would be to manage the feelings of not only myself but of two men who are so very different," she admitted. "I don't want to not try with you either," she said. "I'm sorry if I made it seem as if I were disinterested. That's not the case, I can promise you that."
She lifted her hand to rest against his cheek, pulling him in close so she could kiss him gently. "Fill it up," she told him, the words whispered softly against his lips. "That's what you do with that space." She smiled gently at him as she pulled back to look at him. "I'll talk to Max about how I've been worrying. It's probably over nothing. I guess I just need a little reassurance."
--
Higgs wasn’t sure he could fill the space between Max and Siobhan up, that was part of the worry he had. But that didn’t mean he didn’t want to try. He wanted to make Siobhan happy as much as he wanted to make Max happy and perhaps Higgs needed to reevaluate whether he was showing that enough. “Tell Max you don’t want to let him down,” Higgs advised Siobhan. “Tell him you worry that if he saw that you were as attracted to me as he is, he might feel left out,” he added. “That’s what Max feels like, too.” Not that Higgs could really claim that since he wasn’t in Max’s head but sometimes Higgs felt like he at least understood how Max thought. Mostly because there was logic to it. Siobhan’s feelings and thoughts were far more challenging to figure out. Not any less appealing, though.
Running the hand that wasn’t currently under Siobhan’s blouse over her body, Higgs shifted his hip, pushing up against Siobhan before his hand settled on her arse. He tilted his head back to give Siobhan and easier access to his lips, letting her kiss him gently and then briefly sucking her lower lip between his teeth before he pulled back, hand squeezing Siobhan’s arse. “Do you want to fuck?” Higgs asked her raising an eyebrow at Siobhan.
--
Siobhan nodded because Higgs's suggestions were good ones. She knew that he was right and that Max likely felt just as much worry as she did. Talking about it would reassure them both and she needed to do it. She fully intended on doing just that the first chance she got. She shouldn't have kept her worries to herself as long as she had. "I'll talk to him," she promised. "We'll sort it out and things'll be better. I promise."
She was distracted from the conversation by his hand on her ass and the way that he pressed up against her. She swallowed at his question, the mere sound of his voice roughly scratching over the words making her clench her thighs together as if that would somehow keep him from realizing just how much the question had flooded her panties. "If I didn't before, I certainly do now."
--
Higgs believes Siobhan when she said she’d speak to Max. He also felt confident in that Max would put Siobhan’s worries at ease. As much as Higgs tried to assure her, he did also think it’d sound more convincing coming from Max, not only because it was about Max, but also because Siobhan knew him better. They’d been friends, lovers, spouses, for much longer than Higgs had known either of them, and Higgs thought that mattered a great deal. For now, though, he let the conversation rest, making a mental note to revisit it next time the three of them were together. Or at least ask Max about it once Siobhan had spoken to him. This was definitely something they could manage between the three of them.
Siobhan’s confirmation that if she hadn’t before then she definitely did now, especially with the way Higgs felt her legs physically tighten against his, made Higgs smirk at her. “Good,” he confirmed, before bringing his other hand out from under her shirt and over to her arse, picking Siobhan up in an easy move. It wasn’t something Higgs could or would try with Max, which in itself made this somehow more. Knowing his house well, Higgs did not find it very difficult to both kiss Siobhan and carry her to the bedroom at the same time, only pulling back from the kiss once they were close enough to the bed for him to carefully drop Siobhan atop of it.
Crawling on top of her, Higgs placed kisses against her neck, this time unbuttoning the buttons from the right side of the blouse, finding it much easier. Every bit of skin exposed by an opening of a button received a soft kiss as Higgs moved downwards across Siobhan’s body, when he reached the waistband of her skirt, Higgs brought his hands down, carefully sliding the skirt off her body, before placing a gentle kiss against Siobhan’s stomach. “You really are stunning,” he informed her looking up across her.
--
Siobhan gasped softly when he picked her up so effortlessly. Both Higgs and Max had a way of making her feel so small and delicate when they were around. They could move her so easily and there was something so very hot about being carried about as though she weighed no more than a feather. The sureness with which he moved through the house served to make her that much more aroused because he didn't so much as break the kiss as he walked.
Once he'd set her on the bed, Siobhan sucked in a breath, trying to remember how to breathe when he was making it so difficult to even think. The way he touched her, the way that he moved to unbutton her blouse as though he wanted her unclothed only furthered her eagerness to be touched. She arched up against him, desperate for his kisses on any part of her body that he wished to press them to.
"You're gorgeous," she replied, and he was. Surely he knew that, but she wasn't going to resist telling him that she thought so. With the buttons undone, she slipped her blouse off and flung it aside, lifting herself up enough that she could undo the fastenings of her bra. There were far too many clothes between them, she decided.
--
The way Siobhan sounded and moved beneath Higgs’ touch was so incredibly hot that Higgs almost had to pause briefly just to take it all in and not actually become overwhelmed by it. She was so wonderfully different from Max and yet just as eager for Higgs’ touch. It was amazing and he wanted more of it. All of it. When Siobhan’s bra came off, Higgs moved one of his hands up to brush over her breast, thumb rubbing against Siobhan’s nipple and Higgs gave a small groan of satisfaction as he felt it harden under his touch.
He pressed another kiss against Siobhan’s stomach and then with his free hand, slipped fingers under the material of her knickers, dragging them down, kisses following where the skin became exposed until finally, Higgs brought his other hand back down against, sliding it under Siobhan’s arse and using his arm to push her legs apart. There was no grand pause before Higgs licked against her, giving another pleased sound at just how wet and hot she felt beneath his tongue. The sounds that accompanied his efforts were so rewarding that Higgs had to move his other hand down to undo his trousers, feeling uncomfortably tight in them.
After a while, during which Higgs drank in every sound Siobhan made and every movement she gave, he finally kissed his way back up across her stomach, pausing briefly to suck against one of her nipples and then kissed up to her neck, teeth scratching lightly against the skin. “You taste amazing,” he whispered, breath brushing against Siobhan’s ear. One of Higgs’ hands pressed between them, a flinger slipping into Siobhan as he nipped against her neck, his other hand pushing his own underwear off.
“Do we need protection?” Higgs asked pushing another finger into Siobhan.
--
It was different than it was with Max, something that was thrilling to Siobhan but didn't make her intimacy with Max any less. Being wanted, fully, though, was something she couldn't deny that she enjoyed. Where Higgs could give Max something that she couldn't, Higgs could also do the same for her. She chose to push away any flicker of guilt for the thought because Max likely had thought the same himself.
His hand against her breast and thumb against her nipple made her shudder and lean into his touch. She was starved for it, she realized. Starved for seeing the arousal in his eyes and hearing it in his voice. It came naturally and there was little worries to concern herself with. She didn't question that he wanted to touch her the way she had often found herself questioning Max before the reason came to light. And just when she thought that just the look on his face was enough to make her feel like she was going to burst, he pushed her legs apart and found his way between them with his mouth.
Siobhan didn't think that she'd made noises quite like the ones she'd made while he dwelt between her thighs ever in her life. The way he made her wriggle very nearly pushed her over the edge. Just when she thought she was going to fall over, he kissed his way up to her neck and she had a moment to catch her breath. Only a moment, though. His whispered words had her bucking up against him instinctively as if that would somehow pull him in more quickly. It succeeded in getting him to slide his finger inside of her and that was good enough for now. It made her whimper.
His question was one she knew would be coming and when he posed it with another finger pressing into her, she gasped out, losing her response briefly on the moan that escaped. "I take potions," she told him. She worried little about pregnancy because of those potions and because of the fact that her body had been so tormented over the years. She trusted Higgs and she doubted that she had any concern where he was concerned and he had little for her because she'd only been with Max.
"If it would make you more comfortable, we can," she decided after a breath. "But I trust you."
--
It was equal levels of distracting and enjoyable, the way Siobhan wiggled beneath Higgs, seeking out more contact, something that he was more than happy to offer. He kissed her jaw and then dragged his lips over the skin up to her lips, half swallowing up the way she told him she trusted him. Higgs wanted to point out how maybe she shouldn’t, how really there were no guarantees he’d given that should make her trust him, but he also knew that he hadn’t had sex with anyone but Max and Siobhan in a really long time, and they hadn’t even had penetrative sex. Perhaps he’d been raised too well, it all of the sexual health advice in the world, but Higgs trusted Siobhan, too, trusted Max. So still in the kiss, he pulled his fingers back, positioning himself against Siobhan.
The thrust Higgs gave, a low groan escaping his lips at the hotness of her, was almost soft, gentle and he paused enough to let her body adjust around his before letting one of his hands hitch her leg up more and then give another thrust. Finally, when they settled in a pattern of equally slow but deep movements, Higgs brought his other hand down to Siobhan’s other leg, fingers pressing into her skin before he rolled them over, back flat against the mattress and hips thrusting upwards into Siobhan. “Gorgeous,” he half breathed against her lips, a hand running upwards from her leg, over her ribs until he could cup one of her breasts again, fingers eagerly teasing against Siobhan’s nipple.
--
Maybe she shouldn't have trusted him, but Siobhan did. She hadn't known Higgs long in comparison to some, but what she did know was that he cared for her and would never do anything that he thought would harm her. She may have been uncertain about many things, but she didn't so much as question Higgs's intentions where she was concerned. Outsiders looking in may have thought her a fool, but Siobhan didn't really care because that certainty was something she could hold onto, something she could believe in.
As he pushed into her, Siobhan let out a sound that she didn't realize she could make. It was somewhat muffled by the kiss, but even that couldn't stifle it completely. He was so gentle in his movements and even allowed her a moment to get used to the way he felt before he shifted again. It was a silent sweetness, but it didn't go unnoticed. The second thrust was just as perfect as the first and she hitched her leg up when he guided it higher on his hip. The slowness made the moment that much more intimate. Every little touch heightened in intensity because he took his time.
When Higgs rolled them over, Siobhan was a bit surprised at how much she wanted to please him and how easily she began to move against him. She shifted her hips, rolling them to meet his every thrust in hopes of making him whisper more of those beautiful words. She moaned as his hand found her breast and arched into his touch, pulling back from his lips so she could press herself more firmly against his hand. Siobhan let her head tip back, her hair falling messily around her face and over her shoulders as she bit her lower lip to try and stifle some of the sounds that he kept pulling from her.
--
Siobhan’s body felt amazing both atop of Higgs and around him, the heat and the movement combined made him push up more, steadily enough to ensure pleasure, but still controlled enough as not to be harsh. When Siobhan moaned, arching towards his touch, Higgs groaned and pushed his body more up so he could draw her into another kiss, rocking his hips in motion with hers, harder and stronger each time. One of Higgs’ hands travelled around to Siobhan’s back, sliding over the skin as he drew her in closer, pushing her body up enough to take one of her nipples in his mouth when they broke the kiss.
Teeth lightly grazing against the soft skin, Higgs settled in a steady rhythm of movement, letting her dictate it more so than him, wanting her to enjoy herself, wanting her to just be. The steadiness of the rhythm, though, meant that Higgs could feel his own pleasure building up, pulling his mouth back from Siobhan’s breast, to seek out her lips again. She really was gorgeous the way she moved against him, the way she felt and sounded. Higgs didn’t slow the pace, but he did break it up a bit, angling his hips to seek out a position which made Siobhan moan louder, the sounds escaping her in ways that Higgs was sure he wanted to remember forever.
When he finally felt her contract around him, beautiful as she came, Higgs’ own orgasm crashed over him, a release he hadn’t even realised he’d been looking for. The movements stilled and their breaths came together in harsh tones as Higgs pressed a soft kiss against the side of Siobhan’s cheek. “You’re lovely,” he told her because she was, a hand softly sliding over her back, savouring the moment.
--
Like Higgs, Siobhan hadn't realized how desperate she was for that release. For the first time in a long time, everything that she normally worried about flooded out of her mind. There were no concerns, no what ifs, and no uncertainties. She liked that feeling. She wanted that feeling for Higgs and for Max as well. It made her more certain that she needed to tell Max how she'd worried about what he'd think, reassure him that she loved him just as much as she always had but also let him in on the fact that she was fairly sure she was falling in love with Higgs too.
That realization made her smile softly as she rested her head against his chest, unwilling to move. She wanted to soak in the gentle touch as his fingers stroked over her back. "So are you," she murmured, turning her head briefly to press a kiss to his chest before laying her head right back in the same spot. She looked up at him, the smile still lingering on her lips as she watched him and listened to his heartbeat slowly return to normal. "I don't think you realize how lovely you are and how much you mean to me. And to Max. I won't forget to show you that from now on."
--
When their breathing had returned to somewhat more steady tempo, Higgs lifted Siobhan softly, carefully putting her down on the bed and then stretching out next to her, leaning in to press another soft kiss against her lips, smiling softly when she said that she didn’t think he realised how lovely he was. She probably wasn’t wrong. As for realising how much he meant to her, and to Max, maybe she was right about that, too. This, though, helped. The way her body felt warm and soft and she looked happy, that helped a lot. Higgs laid his hand down against Siobhan’s hip, brushing his fingers gently over it in small patterns.
“I enjoy having you around,” Higgs told her gently because he did. He enjoyed having Max around, too, and he enjoyed having both of them around, but the gentle softness that came with Siobhan’s presence was hard to not recognise as, well, lovely. The way she seemed to just warm Higgs with her sheer proximity. “You going to go home to your husband and tell him how nice a time you had?” Higgs asked teasingly.
--
She smiled at his words. "I enjoy being around," she said. Whether it was just one on one the way it was now or with Max there with them, Siobhan felt a sense of completeness that she knew both she and Max had been lacking. She hoped that she and Max gave as much completeness to Higgs in return as he was giving them. She'd been unfairly keeping her affections towards Higgs from him for fear of hurting Max and that had been wrong. How could they be a trio if there was more giving one on side than on another? She intended to fix that. Higgs deserved to know how loved he was.
His question made her smirk. "Mhm," she said, nodding. "Maybe I'll tell him all about it and he'll want to come over and see what all the fuss is about," she teased. Her smile softened then and she lifted her hand, gently brushing it over his cheek as she leaned up to kiss him softly. "You've made such a difference in both of our lives," she told him. "I'm glad that we found you."
--
“Maybe,” Higgs hummed softly at Siobhan’s suggestion that Max might want to see what all the fuss was about. This, sex in its most physical form, wasn’t something Higgs had approached with Max, unsure how much would be too much. With Siobhan, Higgs found it easier, if only because she knew what it was she was signing up for, even if, perhaps selfishly, Higgs did hope his efforts were recognised for what they truly were - effortless. He wanted Siobhan in a way Higgs doubted Max ever had, not for a lack of want but just because he couldn’t.
The assurance that Higgs had made a difference, that Siobhan was glad for it, made Higgs smile softly at her, hand brushing upwards over her warm skin. “I’m glad, too,” he told her truthfully. “Glad for how much you and Max are willing to give.” He was. It wasn’t something Higgs had expected, even when he’d suggested it, he hadn’t anticipated just how willingly they’d accommodate him. It was unexpected but it was certainly welcome. Leaning in closer, Higgs drew Siobhan into another kiss, a soft, lazy kiss, pouring all of his feelings that he didn’t quite have words for into it.