20th March 2017 • The Wizarding World's Beguiling Broadsheet of Choice • 5 κ
BIL QUIDDITCH DOPING SCANDAL
Thomas Wallpurge
With four players from The Holyhead Harpies having tested positive for performance enhancing drugs last week, we were already preparing ourselves for more positives, but perhaps no one could have anticipated today’s revelations! First off, we have two players from The Chudley Cannons test positive, with a third needing to retest! Certainly puts Cannons’ rise to the top of the league table in perspective! Or so you’d think!
It would be easy to just write the Cannons off as a cheating bunch, but hold your brooms! More players have tested positive across the board! Puddlemere United has had four results test positive, The Appleby Arrows come it with three players testing positive and The Kenmare Kestrels boosting the lead with five players testing positive for performance enhancing drugs! It is possibly the most underwhelming game of whodunit, since apparently everyone has!
Perhaps less surprisingly, The Falmouth Falcons lead Chaser Gemma Higgs has also had her results test positive. Only one off the team (the others are being sent for re-testing)! Of course, Higgs’ age might be the factor to consider, aged thirty, it must be coming to a point where competing with younger players seems like a daunting prospect! Not that we find it a good excuse to cheat! Of course, all the Falcons deny they’d taken anything, but Harpies’ Potts has been forecrying the same woes for a week now!
The Department of Magical Games and Sports has noted that all players who have tested positive will be barred from their upcoming game(s) until the investigation into the doping accusations has concluded!
With many of the top scoring teams coming out drugged up, what will this do the the League table? Will we even have players who still can play? The Prophet will keep you updated with the newest developments in the BIQL doping scandal!