who ? Max Davies and Terence Higgs. when ? Sunday 19th November, early afternoon. where ? Beech Tree Corners, Godric's Hollow. what ? Tea and cake. warnings/rating ? SFW. status ? Completed in gdocs.
Since Higgs had been working the previous evening, Max had decided to invite him over after lunch. Siobhan was out with her parents, and Max had spent the morning baking and decorating a fairly simple cake - just to keep his eye in. Once he'd let Higgs in, and provided him with tea, Max cut a slice and offered it. "I apologise in advance if the cake is very dry," he said. "I tried to make some changes to the recipe, but there's no way to be sure they worked until someone eats it." Of course, Max could have served himself the first slice, but Higgs was the guest, and that felt rude. He did cut a smaller slice for himself, taking a bite so Higgs could see he wasn't unwilling to be the experimenter. The cake was better, but still probably not good. "Maybe I should learn to make chocolate cake. Then you might not be so able to tell it's not really good."
He took a seat next to Higgs on the couch looking out over the garden. "Your parents trip abroad has saved me spending my weekend learning how to build a shed," he observed. While he was a little nervous about the actual shed-building part, he was looking forward to spending time with Terry. "How was work?" he asked. He and Siobhan had had a nice time at Marcus's, but Max knew they'd both felt something was missing. "Siobhan and I noticed your absence, yesterday."
--
"I'm sure your cake will be as nice if not nicer than the cakes my nan makes," Higgs said with a small laugh before taking a bite of the cake. It was slightly more on the dry side than presumably Max would've liked, but Higgs didn't think it was bad. "It's nice," he promised Max and took another bite, before reaching for tea, because there was no denying he would need something to wet his lips with. Higgs gave a small chuckle when Max told him he didn't have to learn how to build a shed this weekend. "It's not very hard," Higgs promised. "And dad will be more than happy to give you instructions, for a Hufflepuff he sure enjoys bossing people around." Probably because he never got to boss Higgs' mum around.
Setting his cup down, Higgs gave a small nod. "Work was alright," he replied. "Quiet. How was the party?" Higgs asked before frowning slightly at Max's words. "Noticed my absence," Higgs repeated like he was trying the phrase out before he shook his head. "I missed you, too, Max," Higgs said. It had only been one evening and honestly, Higgs hadn't been that bothered by missing the party, not particularly interested in Marcus Flint or his new house. Still, Higgs could appreciate that Max and Siobhan would've preferred him to be there, just not so much they'd mind him not taking a day off work for it. Siobhan missed plenty of things because of her work schedule, so Higgs didn't imagine it to be much of a problem.
--
Max smiled, pleased to have his cake praised, even if he knew it wasn't the best a cake had ever been. He knew that mattered less to Siobhan and Higgs than it did to him. "Thank you." He took a sip of his own tea, which definitely improved the cake experience. "I'll welcome the instructions," he promised. "I just hope I'll be able to follow them." Max would certainly be willing, so he knew that wasn't going to be a problem. "You did well enough, teaching me how to build a wall. I'm sure I can do it. I'm slightly more dubious about the greenhouse, but if we put some unbreakable charms on the glass, it should be alright."
In Higgs' line of work, quiet seemed probably a good thing, at least to Max. Higgs probably felt differently, since he'd actually chosen to be a hitwizard, which was not something Max could imagine wanting for himself. "We did miss you," Max agreed, leaning in so his arm could rest against Higgs'. "It was strange, being there as a couple when we're… not anymore." He and Siobhan still loved each other, that had never changed, but they weren't two anymore, they were three and it felt strange to - in a way - present themselves otherwise. . "Chloe asked where you were, so I think that helped." At least most of the guests had known about Higgs.
--
"You'd manage," Higgs promised. "Arran manages, and I've been trying to convince him he's as smart as a cow," Higgs pointed out. Given, that was rather unfair, because his brother was actually pretty good at following instructions. Higgs had heard all about how Arran had planted trees and given up when his dad informed him that it was more than just digging holes. Higgs wasn't convinced it was, but whatever. "You know you don't have to, right? Dad isn't going to like you any less if you don't help him build stuff in the garden." Higgs really didn't want to make Max feel like he was obliged to help out just because he was dating Higgs.
Taking another bite from the cake before setting his plate down, Higgs gave a small nod. "I get that," he commented, because he did get that going out as a couple might now seem strange. Of course, Max and Siobhan were married and thus, Higgs assumed, would be treated as a couple. It certainly would be different if he and Max went out together instead. "I don't know if me being there would really make it--" Higgs started and then shrugged. "Never mind," he said instead, because it seemed unnecessary. "So were there parlour games? I feel that Marcus is the sort of man who might have parlour games."
--
Max raised an eyebrow before deciding he'd probably never really get the relationship Higgs had with his siblings. His own with Roger was different. At least, Max had never been comfortable with where the line between teasing and genuine insult was, so he'd never really tried. It would, he thought, be weird to start now. "I know I don't have to," Max agreed. "I want to. At least, I don't particularly care to build a shed, but I want to spend time with your family, get to know them better, and building a shed seems like a way to make that happen. Better than me just going over for dinner." Because no matter how hard Higgs' family tried, Max felt less awkward when he had something to do. He assumed it had to do with taking up enough of his attention that he didn't spend the whole time aware of being awkward.
"Make it what?" Max asked, frowning when Higgs told him to never mind. "If you'd been able to come, I'd have told Marcus why I was asking him to invite you," Max said. "Which would've meant almost everyone there would know." Not the rest of Marcus's teammates, perhaps, but most of his other friends. Chloe, and Arran, and Kip. "No, no parlour games. Just food, and drinks, and Marcus's dog." He smiled. "Siobhan and I assumed you'd have enjoyed the dog."
--
"It's nice, that you want to spend time with my family," Higgs commented truthfully. He liked that Max wanted to get to know his parents better. Of course, Higgs thought his parents were pretty well worth getting to know, but even so. They also liked Max, Higgs knew both his mum and dad appreciated the effort Max put into getting to know them. Especially when sheds were to be built. "Well, just know you can say no to my dad," Higgs advised with a shake of his head.
Honestly, Higgs hadn't even really thought about the fact that Marcus didn't even know that Higgs was dating Max and Siobhan. In general, Higgs spent very little to no time thinking about Marcus Flint and what he knew. "I would've definitely enjoyed the dog," Higgs agreed because he did enjoy all dogs. Reaching to take a sip of his tea, Higgs set the cup down again before speaking. "I don't think people would get the impression that we were dating, if they saw us at a party," Higgs said, giving a small shrug. "Whether they knew we were or not."
--
"They make me want to get to know them," Max said, genuinely. "I hope I would make the effort anyway, I tried to with Siobhan's parents, but yours -" Max sighed, uncertain if there was a way to communicate what he wanted to without accidentally being insulting. "Would it make any sense to you if I said they make me feel a little jealous, but in a good way?" Max didn't know if it was something Higgs - who'd grown up in a solid, welcoming family - could really understand. "It means a lot that your parents would allow me to be a part of it, even with things being as unconventional as they are." He paused before adding, "It feels like it would be ungrateful, to say no, unless there was a good reason."
Higgs made a good point, one that reminded Max of how nice it had felt to know Higgs had no problem with his parents knowing he and Max were affectionate, how Max had wanted to be able to share that feeling. It did still feel somewhat scary to do so, especially when Max didn't know how Marcus's teamates would react - but they knew Marcus was gay, so Max felt reasonably sure he was safe in that respect. "That's something that could change," Max said. "I don't want you, or Siobhan, to feel like I'm ashamed of this." Of course, Max had been ashamed of his desires for a long time, but he was getting over it.
--
Higgs did actually understand what Max meant, so he gave a nod. "It's different," Higgs acknowledged, remembering how last time this had come up, Max had asked him to change the subject. Higgs did get it, though, Max's dad wasn't somebody who'd ever been particularly fatherly, and having lost his mum so young had also obviously affected Max's feelings about family. Higgs was quite glad that he could offer Max at least a version of a family. His parents, Higgs knew, had a lot of sympathy for the Davies boys. "You're not going to be thought of as ungrateful for refusing to build a shed," Higgs promised Max. "I just want you to do things you actually want," he explained.
Max's suggestion that them appearing as a couple (or whatever the appropriate word was) in public could change, Higgs shrugged. "I'm not very keen to push something on you that will make you feel uncomfortable," Higgs said with a shrug. "It's fine. I don't--well, I suppose that's not true, I can't say I don't mind, but I do understand." Higgs did. It wasn't like dating a man was something Higgs had done before either, so he could, at least somewhat, relate. "I'm just getting used to what is and isn't okay to do in public." Higgs felt he was getting quite good at it, too, it was rare nowadays that he actually touched Max when they were out. Or Siobhan for that matter, though it was easier to pass his touches as casual with a woman.
--
Max shook his head slightly. "I don't for a moment think your parents would find it ungrateful," he agreed. They seemed far too nice to actually expect shed-building as payment for their including Max in things. "But I am grateful to them. For making an effort with me, when I know I don't always make it easy. And it's that that makes me want to spend more time with them, get to know them better. So, I suppose, being willing to build a shed seems like something I can offer them." Max shrugged. "I feel fairly neutral about shed-building, in that it could just as easily be gardening or baking cakes or volunteering, if those were the things your parents were interested in. But I want to do things with them."
With a slight frown, Max hummed. "A lot of what's happened over the last year has either made me uncomfortable to start with or at the very least been something I thought would make me uncomfortable," he pointed out. Being with a man at all had not been something Max had felt able to imagine for himself. "But that's changed. For the better." Being with Higgs certainly no longer made Max uncomfortable. Quite the opposite. "You say you're getting used to it, but what if I want to change it? Despite the fact that may mean… well, working out what the line is between touches that feel affectionate and touches that feel sexual." Max was well aware his line between those was likely to be drawn differently than Siobhan's or Higgs'.
--
Max's explanation sounded fair and honestly, Higgs didn't want to discourage Max from helping his parents, especially not if Max enjoyed it. So Higgs nodded. "Well, I'm sure you and my dad will build a very beautiful shed," Higgs teased before finishing his slice of cake. He assumed Max wouldn't be too offended if he didn't ask for another, it really was a bit dry. But at least there was tea to wash it down with. And it had looked very well decorated.
Higgs gave a small nod when Max said how just because he assumed something might be uncomfortable didn't always end up being so. Higgs could definitely accept that, because this whole relationship had been something Max had been cautious about. They all had been, Higgs supposed, just perhaps for different reasons. Max's last comment made Higgs chuckle. "I think it's safe to assume that if I brush my hand over your back or arm in public it's not meant to be sexual," Higgs promised. He'd never seen appeal to public sex related things. Plenty of people did, Higgs was sure, but he wasn't one of them. And there was something very uncomfortable about the idea that people who weren't him or Siobhan would see Max, almost possessively so. Though, Higgs didn't imagine Max would object. "Unless public sex is a kink you have failed to disclose so far?" Anything was possible.
--
Max snorted, not so very convinced that their shed would be beautiful, but it would certainly get built to the best of Max's ability - however limited that might end up being. "Don't set your expectations too high," he suggested. "It'll probably just be a shed." Though, that wouldn't stop Higgs' dad showing it off, not if their wall was anything to go by.
Looking more serious, Max nodded, wondering if he had the words to explain. LGBT book club was, he thought, going to be a help here. He'd talked to more people who had experiences like his, and read about others, and that was going to help. "I know you - and Siobhan - wouldn't mean them to be sexual," he said carefully. "But for years I was frightened of showing any sign of attraction to men, and in trying to guard against it, I suppose I became too vigilant." It was the same reason he'd jumped at shadows, seeing more in Arran and Roger's relationship than there was. "So sometimes things feel sexual to me that shouldn't, or make me think of sex when they don't need to. That might take some adjusting to." It was an adjustment Max was willing to make, because he did want to be able to share with Siobhan and Higgs that feeling of being accepted. He snorted at the suggestion public sex might be a kink of his. "I feel we can safely say that it's not."
--
Higgs hadn't really considered the explanation Max gave, which was, perhaps, fair, since Higgs had never been in the position Max was. "I'm not sure that makes me feel like it's going to make you not uncomfortable if I touch you in public," Higgs admitted. What it did do, though, was make it slightly easier for him to accept that he couldn't touch Max in public, which hadn't really been the point. Higgs really didn't want to make Max feel like he had to force himself into this, especially when 'this' was something as little at a brush of hand here or there. Mostly, Higgs just found it difficult to control himself, but that was, he was willing to accept, his failing rather than anything else. He could just discipline himself better, that had never been a problem.
"You touch Siobhan," Higgs said. "I don't think either of you really realise it, because you've been together for so long, but there is a... intimacy, I suppose, between you," Higgs explained and then gave a small shrug. "I'd like to have that," he told Max honestly. "But I know that because of how long you've been together, it's not something you really plan." Or well, it never came across as that. "It's not that it makes me feel excluded," though perhaps there was an element of that, too. "But more that..." There Higgs gave another small shrug. "It reminds me that I might never be able to catch up."
--
"I think it depends on the 'public'," Max said. "It might make me think about sex when you touch me in front of Siobhan, or your parents, or Roger, and that might make me blush." It probably would, Max blushed a lot, "But that doesn't actually make me uncomfortable." He gave Higgs a look, remembering the last time Higgs had taken him home after dinner with his parents. Sometimes, thinking about sex just meant Max wanted to have sex, which he assumed neither Higgs nor Siobhan actually had a problem with. Nor did he. "Strangers are where it gets more difficult," Max admitted. "Because I don't know whether or not they're - safe, I suppose. But I do realise that most of society is safe now. So it might just be that it takes some getting used to." He set aside his teacup, moving to run a hand over Higgs' arm. "It's something I'd like to change. And something I know Siobhan would like to change."
Max very rarely consciously touched Siobhan in public, but he was willing to admit that it very likely happened more than he was aware of. "I'd like you to have that, too," Max said. "I feel like I have it, from you, and I like it. I want it to be something I can reciprocate." Max just needed to deal with being uncomfortable, until it became something he barely thought about, just like it was with Siobhan. He gave a small sigh at Higgs words that he worried he'd never be able to catch up. It wasn't something that seemed to lend itself to direct action. "I hope that, because we all want to catch you up in how Siobhan and I are with each other, it will happen in time," Max confessed. He didn't know if that was naive. Possibly. He did think it would require him to get over some of these obstacles, even ones that made him feel somewhat uncomfortable at first.
--
When Max pointed out that he might blush, Higgs smiled, reaching out to give Max's hand a squeeze. "You blush very attractively," Higgs said almost teasingly. That was doubtfully going to help with the 'is it sex' thing, but it was nonetheless true. Besides, Higgs was rather used to Max's blushes, which wasn't something he imagined to ever experience or, really, enjoy. There was something very sweet, though, about how Max blushed. Higgs leaned into Max slightly when the other man ran his hand over Higgs' arm, giving a nod because he did trust Max when he said that it was something he'd like to change, to get more used to things with Higgs. Higgs didn't think they were doing badly so far, really.
Letting his own hand run upwards Max's leg, Higgs leaned in to kiss Max, hand settling high on Max's thigh. "Would it help if I told you that this is definitely a sexual touch?" Higgs asked giving Max a smirk. After a small pause, his smile softened. "Thank you," Higgs said earnestly. "I appreciate how much you're willing to try for me, Max, I really do." And it was certainly true, for all that Higgs had told Max that all he needed to do for this relationship to at least be made into an attempt was try, it certainly appeared to be working out well.
--
Max laughed, the words so unexpected he couldn't help it. "I'm not convinced that's actually a thing," he said. Blushing was not something people generally thought of as attractive, at least in Max's experience, and he couldn't really see a case being made for it on purely physical criteria. "I think you might be biased." Still, there was something nice about Higgs being biased in favour of Max. Not something Max would ever have expected.
Blushing, of course, Max let his legs spread wider as Higgs hand ran up his thigh. "I think I would have guessed that," he answered, letting his own hand venture to Higgs' shoulders, fingertips against the skin left bare by the collar of his t-shirt. He hummed at the praise, which was appreciated but hardly necessary. "It's not just for you," he pointed out. "I want this. A relationship with you and Siobhan. Something that doesn't have to be secret." He was making the effort as much for himself as he was for Higgs and Siobhan.
--
"I might be," Higgs agreed. "But I see no problem with this." Really, Higgs didn't think that him finding anything about Max attractive was problematic. And the blushing was rather sweet, a thought which made Higgs laugh when Max then did blush. Leaning in, Higgs pressed a kiss against Max's jaw, hand venturing higher up, rubbing Max through his trousers. "I suppose there are some clues," Higgs agreed when Max told him he would've guessed this was a sexual touch.
Higgs knew that Max wanted to make this relationship work, it meant a lot to Higgs, both that he did and that he said as much. "We'll make it work," Higgs promised. Maybe now that they'd discussed it, it'd be easier. Or at least it'd allow Max to know how Higgs felt, maybe be more conscientious of it. "So you up to some more sexual touching?" Higgs asked smirking at Max.