Witch Weekly Gossip #1
Oh, what a lovely week and a wonderful web that the Ministry weaves, but while their party went off with everyone who has been hitched, it certainly didn't go off without a hitch....
Valentine's Day was celebrated quite publically by the Towlers -- Kenny and Eleni were caught with pants down, dress up, in a no-so deserted alcove. Did anyone tell the Werewolves it was a full moon tonight?
And hold your hearts, ladies George Weasley is apparently officially off the market. And who has apparently been paired with his heart's desire? We got the scoop -- none other than the elusive Susan Bones. A match made in heaven? We didn't even know she was still in the country. And now she's snagged herself a Weasley -- how nice for her. Good luck, George -- we hear things.
Frosty the Snow Bed seems to be more likely for one the Ministry's so-called success stories in Mr. and Mrs. Draco and Hermione Malfoy. The once pureblood family was as purist as they came before Draco tied the knot with heroine and muggleborn, Hermione. And still -- nothing to show for it? Perhaps things aren't as 'successful' as the Ministry claims it to be.
Speaking of the Ministry we have it on good authority that Kingsley Shacklebolt, despite all indications otherwise, will actually not be running for re-election this year. What's this? A vacuum of power? That always ends well, doesn't it? A reluctant force behind the pairing program, some say the Wizengamot is not happy with the fact that birth rates have continued to dwindle and that perhaps the Time of Hope may as yet prove...hopeless.
Harry Potter was seen in the company of a beautiful young red head, if by company you mean with his tongue down her throat and hand up her skirts. And beautiful -- well, she really was lovely, but we could not see her face. Is this why he has yet to tie the knot with one Miss Pansy Parkinson? Has the savior of the wizarding world turned his back for the sake of love? Or is it just lust. Judging by the way they quickly snuck off to Knockturn Alley, my galleons are on lust. Oh how far the mighty have fallen.