Seren Arslan (monarching) wrote in landvik_logs, @ 2013-05-09 19:59:00 |
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Entry tags: | !faerie, rian, valentina |
Who: Valentina Nolan-Quinn glitzernd & Rian Quinn monarching
When: After Evan's death was announced. [backdated]
Where: Their apartment.
What: Val has feels. Rian is still kind of a douche.
Warnings: None.
Rating: PG - 13
The news had been a shock to Rian. Walking back into the apartment he shared with Val (and he had shared with Evan), things seemed empty and heavier at the same time. He let his bag drop to the floor and PhiPhi looked up at him from the couch, gave a wag of her tail and then rested her head back on her paws. He walked past her to scratch behind her ears and looked towards Evan's room. He hadn't known him very long, but he'd always seemed like a nice guy. He put up with Val splendidly - letting her teasings roll off of him easily. He cooked for them, saving Rian's food in the fridge for later so he didn't have to join them if Val was feeling particularly unimpressed with his presence that day and he'd been there for her when Minjung had taken off to Fuling. Evan was the peacekeeper. And occasionally he brought home a hot witch. The apartment felt strange now that Rian knew he would never come back. His bed was left just the way it was since he'd gone missing - sheets rolled halfway down. The book he'd been reading rested on the nightstand still, waiting for its owner to come and finish it. There were so many things waiting for Evan to come back, a thought that made Rian sadder than he'd expected. He started towards the kitchen, but a noise from Val's bedroom made him pause. He hadn't expected her to be home. Abandoning his thoughts of grabbing a quick drink and watching some mindless reality TV show, he headed towards the room. He knocked once on the doorframe and leaned against it, waiting for her response. He couldn't imagine how she was feeling or if she would even want to be bothered. "Hey." He said softly, testing the waters. "I heard about Evan. I'm sorry." --- Val heard Rian come home from whatever he had been doing before and pressed her face into the pillows some more with a quiet moan. Ever since she heard that Evan was dead, Val had been lying on her bed -- alternatively crying and just staring at the ceiling. She hadn’t been overly close to Evan, but they’d gotten along just fine and Val had enjoyed his company a lot. He’d been so calm and hadn’t taken shit from her and that were just some of the things Val had liked about him. Now he was gone. A moment later Val heard Rian knock at her door, but she didn’t respond. She just wanted to lie on her bed forever and be left alone. “Yeah, I’m sorry, too” she replied bitterly after looking up from her pillow (she was lying on her stomach) “What do you want?” --- He tensed up a little and immediately wanted to back out of the room, give her her own space and be done with it, but something in her voice (and on her face) stopped him. He started to speak and then shut his mouth just as quickly - hating that his first reaction was to petulantly snap back I don’t want anything. She looked different, the fire in her eyes was still there but dimmer. He knew that look well - he’d never experienced it himself (not a permanent loss, anyway) but it was a look that most of the people had when he had to report to them on Academy duty. He sat down next to her (uninvited) on the bed and stayed silent for a little while. Cautiously he reached out a hand and rested it gently on her shoulder. “I just wanted to see if you were ok.” --- Maybe backing out of the room would have been the better alternative, but deep down Val appreciated him staying there. He was right, the fire was still there, but it died a little when Minjung left, and some more when Evan died. “As you can see, I’m fine,” she replied rather snappily. Even in the worst of situations, Val managed to sound as sarcastic and aggressive as possible. The faerie didn’t actually plan on being that snarky - the words just slipped out of her mouth. She tensed a little as Rian rested his hand on her shoulder, but welcomed the touch somehow. To know that he was there calmed her a little and she felt more secure. In a twinge of affection, Val looked up and said: “Don’t ever leave me, okay?” She was so sick of everyone around her disappearing at some point. Why couldn’t people just stay with her? --- Her sarcasm hadn’t been lost on him and he wanted to react so badly - because that’s what he always did, but with everything going on - everything feeling so broken, Rian didn’t let himself. A reaction wouldn’t solve anything and he was especially glad he hadn’t gotten sulky and snippy when she looked up him and showed him a different part of her. Something softer and far more vulnerable than he’d ever expected she’d allow him to see. Without saying anything, he slide her towards him and prompted her up a little so he could wrap his arms around her. It was strange to be doing this - for this to even be happening, especially when he thought they’d both wanted the other to leave. Instead he was holding her, hugging her to him, hoping that being this way gave her some warmth and safety for at least a little while. “I’m not leaving.” He murmured into her hair. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” --- Val secretly was grateful that Rian hadn’t reacted and had just ignored her sarcasm and snippy tone. She was aware that she was a handful, but admired Rian for his self-control and calm. Maybe this was the reason for showing him the softer and rather vulnerable side of herself. Maybe there was something like trust developing between the two of them, or at least some sort of acceptance. Val wrapped her arms tightly around Rian and quietly started to cry again. With the tears she’d shed in the past days, a field could be watered during the dry season. There was no shame that she was crying in front of someone who could make fun of her for it, just gratefulness. It was strange indeed, but Rian was the last person who was a bit like family to her, even though she hadn’t wanted him to join her family first. Val now acknowledged that it wasn’t his fault that they were married against their will and she stopped hating him for something he hadn’t even done. She was hugging him tight and said I a sobby voice: “Promise me that you won’t go.” ‘I don’t want to lose you’ was the part of her sentence she decided not to say. Despite everything that has happened, Rian didn’t have to know that she kind of liked him and wanted him to stay at her side. --- Rian had never been good around crying girls. They always made his stomach twist and he always felt like there were little thundery fists of rage and panic beating against his heart. He was grateful he never had sisters and that the women he surrounded himself with didn’t cry often. His embrace tightened as he struggled for something to say through the weirdness of the situation. I thought you wanted me to go, was what he wanted to say. Not in a mean way, but because he didn’t understand how or when the tables turned. “I promise.” He finally said. “I promise I won’t go.” --- Val had never been one who cried much, but the recent events had turned her into a moody mess and as her husband, Rian had to get used to her constant mood swings - whether he wanted to or not. Unaware of the panic inside him, Val snuggled closer. She needed the hug and the feeling of another body against her, okay? She appreciated his reaction more than he could possibly imagine. Val knew that she’d been a total bitch to him in the past weeks, and this was just one of the many reasons why she appreciated that he stayed calm and didn’t freak out over her current state. Yes, she had wanted him to go, but that was a thing of the past entirely now. “Good,” she sniffed into his shirt. “And don’t even think of dying. I won’t allow that.” --- Rian laughed a little at that demand. “Yeah, I don’t really spend a lot of my time thinking about dying. Seems boring. So final.” As an afterthought. “And Spectres are lame.” He was hoping to lighten the mood a little, maybe get her to crack a small smile. --- “Yeah. Final indeed.” Val had to think about Evan again. She truly hoped for him that his death wasn’t final and that he would get a second chance to live. That’s how becoming a spectre worked, right? Rian’s hopes were kind of fulfilled because was did smile a little - even if it was a bitter smile. “Thanks, Rian. That means a lot to me.” And shortly after that she added: “Do you have a tissue? I must look like a Panda with my smeared make-up.” --- Rian pulled away from her a little and looked, very seriously, at her face. “You don’t look like a panda. Just kind of like one of those goth metal vocalists or something. It’d be kind of hot ... you know, if it wasn’t tear-streaked.” Not having a tissue, he offered his sleeve. He tended to buy shirts where the sleeves would cover most of his hands - they got cold so easily. Especially in Norway. “This is all I got.” --- This made her smile a little more - more genuine than before. “You don’t have to lie to make me feel better, you know?” There it was again, the spark of vulnerability she allowed him to see. Val didn’t want to use his sleeve and ruin his shirt, but getting up and looking for a tissue on her desk wasn’t an option, either. Sitting there with Rian so close felt nice and she didn’t want to ruin the moment - the sleeve had to suffer. “Thanks. I’ll buy you a new shirt for that,” Val said and used his shirt to wipe away the smeared mascara around her eyes. --- “I’m not lying.” Rian looked at the damage that had been done to his shirt and shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. One of my brother’s is a drag queen. I’m used to getting mascara out of shit.” He tucked a lock of hair behind Val’s ear. “So you feel a little better now?” --- Val was pretty sure that Rian was lying, but she didn’t comment it. Compliments like this were balm for her soul, especially now. “Your brother is a drag queen? For real?” Val asked incredulously. “I am related to a drag queen?” The thought of one of her brothers-in-law being a drag queen made her laugh. She knew so little about Rian’s family, it was almost a crime. “Yes, I feel much better thanks to you. How can I thank you?” She leaned her head against Rian’s chest. The closeness of the moment had to be exploited before it was over. --- Rian just nodded when Val asked about his brother. He was dead serious. His brother was one of the most popular drag queens in London and Rian adored him. His first thought when Val asked how she could thank him, was completely ungentlemanly. He’d almost let the words slip, but on second thought asking for a blowjob was probably not the best way to go about when his normally ornery wife had just opened up to him. Tears and everything. Instead he put an arm around her and shifted a little until he was comfortable, hoping that when he spoke the request didn’t pop out. “You don’t need to thank me. It’s cool.” Good boy. Well done. --- In this case, Rian and Val had to travel to London at some point, because now Val wanted to see her fabulous brother-in-law. She probably should meet the rest of the family at some point, too, but she was still too mad at them all for marrying her off to Rian. His thought wasn’t ungentlemanly, it was downright downright scandalous. If he had said it out loud, Val most likely would have slapped him hard for ruining the moment and being so rude at the same time. “Okay fine. Thank you again.” Even Val had enough decency to thank him properly and she thought about a way to make up for the patience he had shown earlier. “Soooooo. What now?” Now that the crying and the sad part were over, the situation felt a bit awkward - at least to Val. --- It wasn’t just Val - the situation had become awkward. Especially since he was feeling just the tiniest bit like shit over his knee-jerk response (thank god he hadn’t actually said it outloud) and over the fact that he was deadly serious. “Uh -” he started, trying to think of something awesome to say. ‘What now’ was a good question. “You hungry?” he asked. Food. Food made shit less awkward. --- After a moment of vulnerability and sadness, awkwardness always followed. It was like a kind of unpleasant law and Val would have loved to avoid it. Rian was lucky he hadn’t actually said out loud what he had wanted to say because that might have cost him precious parts of his body. “I’m starving,” she replied. It’s been awhile since she had last eaten something. “We could go out or something?” As far as Val knew, only few groceries were in the apartment and their only choices were going grocery shopping or having lunch, dinner - or whatever it was time for - in town. --- Rian nodded. “Going out sounds good.” The kitchen had been Evan’s haunt primarily, as the only one of the three that could make decent meals. Val didn’t need to linger here, not with his murder weighing so heavily on her. Anywhere was better than there right now. |