Who had the brilliant idea to open this place in the middle of nowhere Norway anyway? (That's a rhetorical question FYI.)


[FILTERED TO THE DJINN]

Please send help. VERY BORED. DYING OF BOREDOM HERE.

omg.

Ladies. Gentlemen.

I have an idea.

LET'S BRING BACK YERSINIA PESTIS. PLAGUE OF JUSTINIAN. THE BLACK DEATH. BUBONIC PLAGUE.

Remember how FUN that was? OMG the plague doctors. SO CREATIVE FOR HUMANS.

Starkle, starkle, little twink,
Who the hell are you I think.
I'm not under what you call
The alcofluence of incohol.
I'm just a little slort of sheep,
I'm not drunk like thinkle peep.
I don't know who is me yet,
But the drunker I stand here the longer I get.
So just give me one more fink to drill my cup,
'Cause I got all day sober to Sunday up.

Honestly, it's a good thing I don't need to sleep all that much, who has time for that these days.

It's amazing what humans will believe. I've been working on a missing persons case in regards to a couple of teenagers who disappeared about fifty years ago. A young girl thought she saw two older men carrying the body of one of them away, but of course no one believed her. Instead, one of the accused stated he was told by police that the couple were being financially supported by the government and were fine. Someone else thought they'd been kidnapped and forced into slavery. The police investigation at the time was completely inadequate, and honestly if those police detectives were still around I'd be sorely tempted to teach them a very valuable lesson about how to run a missing persons investigations.

The young girl had been right, she had seen the two men carrying the boy's body away, and it turns out they had been forced into slavery (of a kind). They were recently discovered in the harem of a very nasty vampire who had turned them and kept them for food for all of this time. Honestly I don't understand the appeal of drinking another vampire's blood, why would you want that when you could have hot human blood straight from the source? I mean really.

But, all's well that ends well, the pair have been reunited with their family and given support to re-establish their lives. I do wish more of my cases had such happy endings.

I finally got around to viewing The Cabin In the Woods this weekend. And while I think it was a rather innovative horror film, I cannot decide how I feel about the ending. Genius? Infuriating? Perhaps both? Three viewings later and I really cannot form an opinion on it.

However, I can tell you vampires were grossly under represented as a potential Choice and I might have written a letter to Joss Whedon concerning it. Despite the inaccuracies in the stores, we are a classic "villain" in the horror genre. So much classier than zombies in the living deceased category and I am not just saying that because I am biased. Rotting flesh is never an attractive thing, both visually and olfactory.

In other news, I still cannot believe the Pope has a Twitter. I wish he would retweet me. Though I suppose he does have more important things to do with being God's vessel on Earth. I suppose the times they are a-changin'.

No more eye patch = no more pirate jokes, yes?

Also, I'm cleared to go back to work. And the church can go do profane things to itself until I get an explanation as to why this happened to Athanasia and I.

[ filter; angels ]
So... do you still believe He wants us back? I'm not sure I do anymore... how is everyone?