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Captain James T. Kirk (jimtkirk) wrote in labyrinth_rpg,

It really was too bad that Kirk couldn't spend his entire day in the planetarium. The fake stars had offered a little bit of comfort and the occasional laser light show was really a lot of fun. Sure, it was slightly lonely without anyone else there and for the first half hour he really, really missed Bones and after that he still missed Bones but there was a large degree of homesickness that went along with it. Honestly, he didn't know what he missed about home. He'd hated Iowa, hated the dead farm, hated Frank, and, yes, at times he even hated his mother and her willingness to abandon him. He should've been happy to be in a place far seperate from them and the possibility of ever seeing them again. He hadn't felt this way when he enlisted in Starfleet nor did he think he'd feel this way anytime during their upcoming five year mission. The only difference he could honestly think of was Bones.

Sure, the older man was here and Kirk really had no interest in being angry anymore but his stubborn pride kept him away. It probably would've been better if he had made some kind of comment in retort before lapsing into a sort of angry silence. That way, at least, Bones would've known why he was angry and he would've made up for it. They could've gone back to teasing and maybe he could've spilled his entire life story about stars and his brother and everything else he hadn't heard yet to Bones instead of some Crown Prince.

Toying with the invitation he received from his place on the floor surrounded by pillows and blankets (he'd grown bored of the fort pretty quickly) Kirk looked up at the sound of a knock. Curious as to who it was he began to rise when the first knock was followed by a second. Couldn't this guy wait a second? Once he heard the voice he realized that no, no he really couldn't. Crossing his arms over his chest (and realizing that he looked terrible, loneliness did the worst things imaginable to him it made him so pale looking) he stood in silence for a moment before slumping his shoulders and pulling the door open. "Once was enough, you impatient jerk. You don't have to beat my door down." His voice lacked the force or the anger that should've gone along with a statement like that. He just sounded tired. Tired and a little sad.

There was the strongest, strangest urge to throw his arms around the older man and drag him back into the room... back towards the bed. To manipulate the situation into one where Bones had to focus upon him, had to hold him, touch him, pretend to love him as more than just friends... It was a type of physical comfort he'd grown used to over the years. Sex momentarily filled that void in him that loneliness tended to rip wide open. He wasn't loved much in his youth, he tried to make up for that as soon as he could. Instead of attempting any of that with Bones (because Bones was important, too important to turn into another meaningless source of physical comfort... who'd just hate him or abandon him in the morning) Kirk wrapped his arms around himself and shrank away from the door to go sit upon his pile of pillows. He left the door open to allow Bones to enter if he wanted.