Liz Griffith (veileddarkness) wrote in lab_rinth, @ 2015-08-26 17:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | !week twelve, letha silivasi |
It's swallowing me whole
Who: Letha - Narrative
When: Week Twelve; Sunday Feb 22nd - right before sunset
Where: Pierdut House
Summary: Letha is thinking everything over and writing in her journal
Warning: None
It was early yet. Early for a vampire, but yet Letha was finding herself up earlier than usual. She sat in a chaise lounge by her bedroom window, the curtains drawn back enough for her to see the sun outside getting ready for the descent to the horizon.
It was one of Letha’s favorite things to do, to watch the sunset with night reaching out to play with day for a few moments before finally taking over. Tonight other thoughts distracted her from enjoying the view, in fact though she was ‘seeing’ it she wasn’t actually seeing.
With a sigh she turned her attention to her bed where Jeremiah slept soundly. Her eyes roamed over his sleeping form, softness upon her face in doing so. He was her childe and her lover, which sounded strange to those who were purely human, but for those of the supernatural breed knew exactly what it was; she had turned Jeremiah, giving him new life out of need, want, love… She had been hurt by him for leaving but he had come back into her life. She loved him still, but things had changed.
She wasn’t sure if the change that had happened with her were for the better or not. She shared a past with Jeremiah; the years between them had changed them both. With Phineas, she had shared something else; a little bit of her soul, perhaps? She didn’t know.
As if sensing the turmoil within, Onyx moved from the bed to Letha’s lap. “It’s alright, darling,” she spoke to Onyx softly so not to disturb Jeremiah just yet. She stroked the black kitten a few times until it fell into a purr at her side, curling close into her as if to try and comfort her.
There would be no comfort for her, she thought. Not any time soon.
Another small sigh left her lips and she picked up the leather bound journal that Seven had given her at the previous Christmas, turned it to an empty page and started to write. I know it has been a few days since I have written; strange things have happened in the past few days that I think my mind is still trying to make sense of it.
For the first time in my life, that I can recall, I have been left confused and uncertain. I am Letha Silivasi, leader of the Pierdut Clan, vampire, mistress of the night; I do not ever feel confused and uncertain!! Alas, but I do.
Rinth always has some cheap trick up its sleeve; something to torment the lives of the residents that live here. Not long ago I was able to walk in the sun and lost interest in blood but gained interest in actual food. It was a pleasant time for me, somewhat. I still did not care for the sun as much, I don’t think I ever will.
In Rinth’s lasted episode, it decided to mess with people’s minds and emotions. Some became lustful for others, afraid of some, and even more were angry for no reasons. For me, it was possession. Not possession of the one I’ve claimed to love, my childe, my Jeremiah, and not even the possession of my clan and family members. No, Rinth had to take it further and give me possession of another man; Phineas Lockhart. On top of that, he was given possession over me.
It was odd how drawn I was to him, how unsettled I was within my very own skin, until I went to his shop and laid eyes upon him. Everything made sense. I knew, then, that he was mine and I wished to have him all to myself. I felt giddy as a school girl knowing he felt the same.
We spent two full days together. I pushed away all thoughts of Jeremiah. I…I believe I shared a part of my soul with Phineas in a way that I never have with another. We shared each other’s blood…and his bed. None of it was…sexual. I think there were moments where it could have and at the time I would have been happy for it, but it was so much more than that. We laid there and we talked, each sharing a bit of ourselves in ways we never had before. I felt a peace deep within me.
When the spell broke, I was aghast in what I had done at first. I left quickly with not so much as a word of ‘good bye’. Not only had I shared moments with another man, I had simply cut the link between Jeremiah and myself off within moments of having put eyes on Phineas.
I quickly found out how that had affected Jeremiah. He has always been rash and unpredictable, jumping to conclusions and acting without thought and this time was no different. Jeremiah had decided to hurt himself, to…end his life. He cut himself with silver, drank whatever concoction he had made that had silver flakes in it and then went to sleep in an open grave to let the sun do the final damage.
It made me furious, though I’ve kept that bit to myself. Did he not know how his death would affect me? Does he always need to be so…rash? Instead of the comfort that I wished to have, it was I who was comforting and taking care of Jeremiah. I understand his hurt, I do, but he took it way too far.
I found him, which he wasn’t happy about at first. His moods shifted quickly from loving me to wanting to die back to loving me. He wanted to be left alone, he didn’t want to be left alone. I was in a tailspin from my own mind having been out of my control for three days and before I could make sense of anything I had to deal with his antics. To say I was displeased is unnecessary. But…I love him, he is my childe, and I needed to save him.
Once he realized what had happened, that Rinth had basically taken my mind hostage, he fell back into his flirty, sexual, self. I wanted to be held, to be comforted in which he responded that he would do so but fingers may wander after a while.
Sigh.
I was able to get Jeremiah home. The silver had weakened him greatly, but it’s been two days now and he is feeling better I think, growing stronger, anyway he was up to his usual sexual escapades yesterday. I fell into bed with him, but I have to admit that my mind wasn’t fully there.
I messaged Phineas yesterday, we spoke at length. I told him I want to see him again and he agreed. In a few days, when I know that Jeremiah is stronger. For now I will take care of Jeremiah until he is well, take care of my clan, and try to figure out the deeper consequences of what has happened.
I don’t think I will ever be the same; I don’t think I want to be. Phineas has to be in my life, we just need to figure out how deep it goes; I can still taste him...
Shutting the journal, Letha stood from her seat and quietly headed out of the room with her journal clutched to her chest. Maybe a drink would help clear her mind.