Roy | York
Weren't you just doing what you're told? You're giving yourself too much credit, sir. It wasn't your war. You followed orders. Men die in war. You were told to slaughter children.
You should have said no, you should have refused, but you didn't. You followed your orders like a good soldier. Now you need to make up for it. Alchemists' creed 'Be thou for the people'? What are you doing for the people now?
That's what you live for. Do your damn job, be the Alchemist you should be. Make the woman you love happy, have children, teach them to 'be thou for the people', and they'll change the world for the better. Your kids would be amazing. And smart. And brave. And good. You can fix what you did, sir. You don't have to keep hating yourself. You can make it better. You can help people. Dying isn't going to help anyone.