I can see the merits in dying in a battle against a foe, should one have to face a knowing end. I cannot say that I would shy away from it myself, should the situation arise where it was demanded. This is not your first time in space? Interesting. There seem to be many here who have not had such luxury or ease in adapting It is good you are not counted among them.
I would not say the process has been...successful. There are many, even here on Knowhere, who do no regard me favorably as a result of the tales they have heard and they are correct inbut being known as The Deadliest Woman in the Galaxy does not often inspire one to think much of a person. There are many things I have done, for many reasons. Few of them I am proud ofI am only pleased now that I became aware of my ability to choose otherwise for myself and did not continue down that path.
...I understand what you mean. Better than I wish I did.