Chosen by lightning (likepudding) wrote in knowhereic, @ 2017-08-15 10:59:00 |
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Entry tags: | dc comics: au: jason todd, dc tv: canon: barry allen |
Who:Barry Allen and Jason Todd
What:Getting him out on his bad days.
When:Sometime before Tim vanished
Where:Around
Warnings:mentions of depression but otherwise nothing too bad?
Status:complete;log
Barry kept his word, dropping in on Jason every so often. He worried about him. He didn’t know the pit first hand like maybe his alternate universe self might have, but from what Jason said it sounded awful. Nobody should have to go through awful stuff on their own, even when they’d made mistakes. Barry wasn’t about to let Jason condemn himself for said mistakes. He knew that game all too well himself to let someone else suffer through it. If he was honest it was part of why he was so damn overwhelmed with the world as it were. He didn’t want Jason to cope with that feeling too.
He’d stopped and got something to eat, a couple to go plates of some sort of asian inspired noodle dish that he figured would be easy on even someone who didn’t want to eat’s stomach. Rice and noodles. They were an easy thing to digest. And hey, if not he’d eat them both-but he wanted Jason to have a go at it first.
He was still intending to take that trip down to Earth, but first he wanted to make sure his friends would be okay, as much as he wanted to or not. He wouldn’t go if they were about to fall off the edge or something.
It didn’t take him long to find something for Ace too. A few hamburger patties he knew the dog would want. Maybe Jason wouldn’t want company, but Barry was determined to help him anyway. The bats had become important to him. Like a second family. He knocked at the door “Jay, it’s Barry. You home?”
--
Jason had spent the morning in bed after he’d watched Bruce’s video. Ace roused him a little after lunch to go back outside, but even that small excursion seemed exhausting to the second Robin. He’d been in this place before. He knew all of the signs, and he knew how to cope with them. The trouble was that he didn’t want to. While Bruce’s message had brightened his outlook for a little while, Jason found himself swiftly settling back into the depression that had slammed into him full force when he’d woken on Sunday and realized what he’d done.
Back home, Alfred, Roy, or Kori would have coaxed Jason out of his self-imposed isolation. One of them would most likely have forced him to go see his brothers. Alfred would have given him that look that said how much Jason’s stubbornness hurt him. Roy would have irritated Jason until he got up, or dragged him out of bed by his feet. Once, when Jason had been at a low point and feeling particularly contrary, Roy had threatened to text pictures of him in his Wonder Woman boxers and boot socks to Diana. Kori prefered a more direct approach. She would have lifted him like a baby and dropped him through Dick’s window.
The up and down cycle of his depression was familiar to Jason, and instilled an insidious pattern of feeling well enough in small spurts that he could talk himself out of asking for or accepting help. He excelled at seeming far more functional than he actually was.
Barry’s knock swam through the folds of a restless pseudo-sleep that had left Jason tossing and kicking out at the covers for a little more than an hour. He wasn’t entirely awake, but he couldn’t claim to be asleep, either. Dozing would have been too generous a description, one that required Jason’s mind to have stopped plaguing him with should-haves and might-have-beens. Jason responded to the speedster’s call by muttering something unintelligible and putting his pillow over his head. Ace barked.
--
Barry knew depression well lately, while his experience with it hadn’t been nearly as bad as Jason’s had to set it off, he could still understand. Self isolating was something he’d done on several various occasions that mostly involved getting everyone around him nearly killed, he too had to be forced out of it by social interaction, so that was his plan here. Even broody people needed to eat, and he was pretty damn sure if Jason hadn’t been seen anywhere he also hadn’t been eating anywhere.
“Don’t be naked.” He finally said as Jason did not emerge from the door, he heard Ace barking and phased his hand through the lock itself. Sure he probably could have phased through the entire door, but that would have taken more energy than he currently had to spare. “Hey boy.” He said to the dog, kneeling down to give him a cheerful ear rub. “How’s that master of yours hm?” Not good by the looks of things, it seemed like Jason’s apartment was fairly untouched. Most people usually at least left a glass of something out when they lived somewhere.
--
Luckily for Barry, Jason at least kept up with showers and clean clothes when he was feeling terrible. Not that Barry could tell right away, since Jason was thoroughly buried under a pile of tangled covers. The second Robin groped under his pillow for the knife hidden there. He was only half-awake. It took him a few seconds to figure out that Ace had jumped out of bed, and was happily thumping his tail against something. Whoever had come inside had to be a friend, Jason concluded, or Ace would have been busy enthusiastically turning them into shredded chicken.
“Go away,” he muttered. “I’m sleeping.” He let go of the knife, though. Barry wouldn’t have to waste any energy on rapid healing of a knife wound.
--
“Hmm, nope. I think you’re getting up and having dinner with us.” He hadn’t been doing all that great himself lately, so honestly focusing on someone else who needed help was a good thing. It made him feel less overwhelmed with things. He probably shouldn’t have just shown up to someone’s apartment like the Robin’s who prided themselves on ninja like skills, but he had faith in them not to stab him. Even Jay in spite of recent events, he still believed in him.
“Hungry Ace? Got something for you too. Bet you can’t guess~” It was pretty obvious Barry had no plans in leaving in spite of the muffled attempt to ward him away.
--
“I’m not hungry.” Jason pulled the covers over his head and prayed that Barry would leave. Maybe Ace could con him into going outside and forgetting about Jason. The truth was, the second Robin had emotionally exhausted himself watching Bruce’s video that morning, and mulling over it as the day progressed, not to mention that conversation with the youngest of the Gambits. The idea of so much as making eye contact with Barry felt like climbing Mt. Everest after running the Chicago marathon four times in two days.
“You can feed Ace and take him for a walk if you want,” Jason offered, before he turned onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow.
--
“When was the last time you ate anything?” He looked up over at the sad pile of his friend mixed with blankets, he’d be damned if he let him drown in depression if he could help him. He at least had to try. “Small steps Jay. Ten minutes at a time.” Maybe that would be less daunting then the idea of a full day ahead. Sometimes Barry had to do things like that, because time was an endless stream for him. Full days could seem like an eternity. “You get up and eat lunch with us. I’ve got rice. Everyone can eat rice.” There was also curry if Jason decided to feel ambitious, but if he didn’t, rice.
---
The last time he’d eaten something? Jason wasn’t sure. The day before, maybe. He recalled grabbing some bread when he’d been feeding Ace, but wasn’t sure if it had been around breakfast or dinner time. He’d at least been drinking enough that he hadn’t turned into a pile of sand. Jason wondered if he could get away with lying to Barry. Probably. He was a Bat. But why complicate things?
“Told you. Not hungry.”
--
Barry frowned at the stubbornness of Jason Todd. He remembered Kara saying that if they weren’t there was probably a negative chance in hell that they’d be in the same business, but all the same Barry worried. He wished he could do more for him. If he could take his pain he would. The speedster sat on the edge of his bed for a minute in silence as he peered over at him. “When was the last time you got up?” Nope, there’d be no lying to him. Even if Jason remained in that bed, Barry was still determined to keep him company for a little.
--
Jason kicked at Barry in a half-hearted attempt to get him off of the bed. With no real force behind the blow, he might as well have just gotten up and moved, but that would have required him to leave his currently prefered cave. “Don’t know. Ask Ace. Took him out. Ace, when did we go out?”
The dog cocked his head. His expression fell somewhere between, “I’d like some bacon,” and, “You’re an idiot.” After what seemed to be a moment’s consideration, Ace leapt on top of Jason and yanked the covers down.
“Damn it!” Jason swore, quickly grabbing the pillow and putting it over his head, though he made sure to slap the knife onto the end table first so he didn’t stab himself in the face. “I didn’t mean we’re going out.”
But Ace would not be deterred. He continued to pull and dig at the covers until he had them bunched around where Barry sat, the excess hanging off the side of the bed. Then he laid down across Jason’s back and gave Barry a doggy grin. Luckily for the two humans in the room, Jason was indeed fully dressed, in black lounge pants and a well-washed charcoal gray shirt he’d grabbed at a thrift store on an Earth run.
--
Barry wasn’t really bothered by that kick, but it did cause him to tilt his head slightly. “Are you planning to stay in there forever?” He wasn’t planning on yanking him out of bed, but the thought had crossed his mind. He sighed a little as he put the food down on the floor for now, not entirely sure how to coax him out. He worried about him, he didn’t want to make him feel guilty or something for said worry-so he didn’t say anything, but Jason had been his first real friend when he arrived there. He wanted to do something for him.
Glancing at the dog when Jay asked him English words, he raised an eyebrow and shook his head at the expression Ace gave in return. “Real funny wise guy.” He said to the depressed bat, trying to keep things light for now. The way to get him up he was 90% sure wasn’t through heavy talks if getting out of bed alone was a task.
“Oh good, you’re up. ‘Cmon then. Looks like Ace decided for us.” He gave the dog a head rub again. “ Good boy. Go get your leash.” He laughed at that look and shook his head. “You’re half way there, might as well. It’s this or eat.”
--
“Traitor,” Jason muttered to his dog, but he reluctantly sat up and scrubbed his hands over his face. He honestly didn’t feel like getting up. The combined social pressure of Barry and Ace left him little other choice.
With his tousled hair and bruised face and arms, Jason was quite a sight, and it wasn’t good. Tension sat at the corners of his eyes and mouth, and across his shoulders. He moved stiffly when he got up to find his shoes. Shutting himself in his apartment all day had allowed muscles sore from the fight with his family to stiffen painfully. Jason sat down on the couch to lace his sneakers, the practiced motions slow and deliberate.
“I’m not changing clothes,” he warned Barry. “So don’t go all Alfred on me about it.”
--
Getting a better view of Jason caused him to cringe a bit. Jesus Christ, the fight with his brothers left him in bad shape. What the hell did training with Batman do to people? Tim rarely slept, Dick claimed responsibility for something that in Barry’s mind was on Bruce Wayne, and Jason suffered the consequences for it seemingly having done nothing to deserve it. Sure his methods were a little more...gray than Barry’s own, but he wasn’t perfect either. He couldn’t give anyone lectures on how to do this job anymore considering how badly he’d screwed things up and not just for himself but for everyone around him.
Watching him move with the flexibility of an old man, convinced Barry he was going to stop by and get him to move more regularly. Even if it was only in short periods of time. Jason wasn’t going to heal like this.
“If you’re okay with looking like a hobo, that’s your prerogative.” Barry said with a grin, clearly teasing him. He didn’t really care if Jason got up and dressed or not. Getting up was the achievement here. Barry knew that. There was a spot he wanted to take him, a single place he’d found not too far from their studios he liked to go when things started getting to be too much for him. He was willing to share it if it helped provide a little solace in any kind of way. If not then the view was pretty and that was enough for him. He picked up the food. “Well I’m hungry.” He said simply with a shrug toward any looks, finishing off that much food was a walk in the park. Nobody who knew him would likely even blink twice at that amount except that it was smaller than usual.
--
Ace hopped down from the bed to retrieve his outside items. Jason rarely used a leash in Knowhere, but he did always bring the ubiquitous bags that to dog owners were more important to remember than your own wallet. The German Shepherd’s collection was carried in a convenient dispenser that Jason could clip on his belt or the waist of his pants. Ace put his paws up on the wall and nosed them off of the hook where Jason had hung them earlier.
“You’re always hungry,” Jason remarked to Barry as he moved to follow his dog. “Universal constant.” He took the dispenser when Ace offered it, and started to head out the door, rather conspicuously forgetting his keys, any sort of weapon, or an attempt to look human before facing the public.
“And I know actual hobos. Some of those guys have wardrobes like you wouldn’t believe. Layers, Barry. If you don’t have a roof over your head every night, you learn to collect layers.”
--
He figured maybe Jason would change his mind on something, but if he didn’t-whatever then. Barry could always eat for both of them. With a roll of his eye he smirked. “At least you’ll know if I ever end up being duplicated and that me isn’t hungry. Then it’s probably fake.” And by that point he’d be happy to have Jason shoot his dopple. It was probably a bad sign if a speedster wasn’t hungry.
“Hn. I guess you’ve got a point. Looks like your hair does too.” He smirked and flicked a bit of his messy hair that was sticking up. “Gonna start calling you Alfalfa.” He was going to take Jason not far from his work. There was a nice place that was fairly secluded from people, but the view was spectacular. It didn’t take long to get there, and he avoided the short cut through the market. He’d barely gotten Jason out with him, he highly doubted his friend was going to put up with the various characters of the marketplace so they made a loop in the quieter sectors of the city that wasn’t frequently used, and then up a flight of stairs that seemed to lead to nowhere but had a platform big enough for a dog’s paws to stand on without falling through.
--
“Hands off the hair.” It was a half-hearted scolding. Jason’s hair really was a mess, the white streak at the front standing out like a cornstalk from the rest. Later, Jason might even care that he’d left his apartment looking like he’d gelled his hair while hanging upside down from the shower rod.
Getting out and moving had proved to be just as important to Jason’s recovery after Arkham as the therapist and medication. In fact, it had played such a large role that Jason had gone what Liz diplomatically called overboard. She hadn’t chewed him out for it--probably more diplomacy on her part. She was used to superheroes and their schedules, though, which made it easier for Jason to keep up with appointments by phone or videolink. If he’d been home, Alfred would have called her by now.
The walk loosened up sore muscles, and Jason was able to climb the stairs without feeling like his knees were rusty cogs. Ace sprang up ahead of both of them, tail wagging. This was the biggest adventure he’d been on since Bruce and Alfred had left. The Shepherd turned around at the top to bark encouragement at the humans.
--
Barry smirked. Some of Jason’s sense of humor was still intact so that was promising. He wasn’t working from a complete ground zero, but just the way he walked he could tell they had a lot of work to do. “I thought you were supposed to be some crazy ninja. Not ninety. Keep up!” He called playfully as he seemed to disappear ontop of the slender ledge just a few more feet above them. It was big enough to sit side by side, but not facing eachother. With the view in front of them there was no real reason to want to face eachother anyway.
When Jason eventually reached the top, the world seemed pretty far beneath them. The top beam was sturdy and didn’t feel like one was about to free fall backwards even though it was only a literal support beam for the giant space head made of thick steel so even dog paws could manage.
“Would you look at that view?” He said as he slid down to sit at the edge of the beam, legs dangling over the side as he looked in front of them. There was a large glass window pane not far off in the distance that showed off the inky blackness of space, and a few lone stars. There was even a hint of a green and yellow space storm not far off in the distance. Every now and then shooting stars would streak cross the panel and blink out on the other side.
--
Jason rolled his eyes. “We can’t all be sprinters.” He pulled his hands out of his hoodie pockets just long enough to boost himself onto the ledge. His usual grace might have been absent, but the skill was still there. The ledge might as well have been a sidewalk curb for all the concern Jason showed arranging himself on it, legs hanging over the edge. The second Robin leaned back, bracing his arms behind him.
“You spend much time up here?” he asked after a long silence. Barry was right. The view was something. Despite living part time with a space princess, Jason had never quite gotten over the way the stars looked when you were actually out amongst them, no planet beneath your feet, no atmosphere dimming your view of space.
--
Peering over at him he shrugged. “I’m not even going that fast.” He had been going fast for a long time, he’d been recently forced to take his time. He wasn’t entirely sure he liked it either, but sharing this spot with Jason wasn’t a bad end of things.
“Recently? Yeah. When space gets...overwhelming I seem to end up here” Even to the Flash space could be pretty chaotic. Sometimes even he felt lost, this was the best place to be lost though among the stars. He may have been able to put on a good face about it all, but half the time he was just as lost as everyone else. This whole hero thing was something he was learning on the fly, and apparently hadn’t done a very good job of it according to the speed force. So this place had landed on his favorites list pretty quick. “Plus it’s not too far from work. I don’t really have any reason to go home most of the time so I like coming here instead. Better than tv.” He grinned.
--
A fait smile turned Jason’s lips. This was nicer than he’d thought it would be. He allowed the conversation to lapse as he took in the view. Barry’s company was soothing, uncomplicated and undemanding. Jason let himself uncoil, the stress and worry easing until he could almost forget they were there.
After a while, he turned to Barry, and said, simply, “Thank you.”