Jason Todd [Red Hood] (fallenrobin) wrote in knowhereic, @ 2017-07-25 07:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | dc comics: au: jason todd |
who: Jason Todd (DC AU), Ace the Bat-Hound, Bruce Wayne (trope character)
what: Jason finds a message that Bruce left for him, because Batman plans for everything.
where: Jay's apartment
when: This morning
warnings: sad feels, symptoms of depression
status: narrative; complete
How Jason had missed the USB drive set on the top edge of Ace's leash rack by the door, he didn't know. He supposed he'd been distracted. Bruce, however, had not been subtle. The drive was a Batman themed fashion USB stick that could be found at almost any store in Gotham. It was gaudy yellow and black, and Jason had bought a whole shelf of them just to annoy Bruce. He'd even put a few in his utility belt for his Red Hood costume. Apparently, the old man had gone digging while Jason had been out of commission.
Jason sighed, and pocketed the drive. Ace still needed to go out. As much as Jason wanted to stay buried under his covers and ignore the rest of the world, he wasn't in the mood to clean up accidents on his floor, or to smell them. Besides, it wouldn't have been fair to Ace, who was diligent about letting Jason know when official canine business could no longer wait.
The trip outside lasted a matter of minutes. Ace left his doggy mail, then set himself between Jason and the rest of the world, took Jason's hand gently in his mouth, and walked his fragile human back inside. Jason ruffled Ace's fur once the dog released him after they'd returned to the apartment. He spared a moment to hang up Ace's things before he pulled out his laptop and carried it to the bed. Jason braced his back against the wall in the corner. Ace dutifully took up a position at Jason's feet, where he could shield him from the rest of the room.
Startup lasted only a few seconds. Jason had upgraded the run-of-the-mill laptop from Earth with better hardware and a few proprietary Bat tricks so it could run some of the family's standard programs and security measures. As expected, those measures were needed to unlock the USB drive after Jason plugged it in.
Bruce had left a single video file in an encrypted folder on the drive. He'd named it, "Jason, please watch." A voice in the back of Jason's mind urged him to rip the drive out of the computer and smash it against the wall until it was in pieces. He shook his head to dismiss it. That voice wasn't him. It was the person he had been, back when he'd tried to take the cowl, and Dick had felt forced to lock him away. Jason couldn't be him anymore. It would only get his brothers, and him, killed. He took a deep breath, buried his fingers in Ace's fur for comfort, and double-clicked the file.
"Jason, I don't know if I'll still be here, in Knowhere, when you find this." Bruce's voice echoed from the laptop's modest speakers. On the screen, he stared into a camera, under fluorescent lights that did nothing to hide the wear and tear of years etched into his expression. "I'm not sure how long it will take until you're well enough to go looking. But no matter how long it is until you see this, or if I'm there to watch it with you, I need you to understand one thing.
"You're my son. Nothing can change that. I know I don't say it enough, but I hope that saying it now will help remind you that you always have a place in this family.
"This may be hard for you to hear after everything that happened, but I'm proud of you. Don't argue with me on this one, please. You've come a long way. I've never seen anyone face hardship and attack it head on with the same single-minded determination as you do.
"I know that you can do the same now. You aren't alone in this. You have your brothers, and your friends. You have me and Alfred, your team, your sister, Stephanie and Barbara ... Even if we aren't all in one place right now, we all want to be part of your life. Because you are an extraordinary young man, and worth every sacrifice." Bruce smiled, and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He'd never been good at the whole emotions thing, though Jason remembered nights when the older man had gotten it right: taking off of work to take Jason to a baseball game, skipping patrol to stay home when Jason was sick, bringing Jason to Wayne Enterprises with him and letting him sit in on the board meeting for one of those take your kid to work days.
"Look after your brothers," Bruce continued, after a moment. "Make sure Dick listens to the doctors, and don't let Tim work too hard. Remind Damian that it's okay to be a child. Take Ace for plenty of walks. Talk to someone you trust, if you don't feel safe talking to family just yet. Be careful with that leg, and let it heal." It was Jay's turn to shift uncomfortably. The leg ached, probably had some new damage that he hadn't bothered to check, but it seemed a fitting punishment for what he'd done to Tim. Not nearly enough for what he'd done to Dick, though. Bruce, however, carried on, as inexorable as the turning of the planets.
"Promise me that you will remember this, no matter what. I love you, and I wish that I could do more for you as your father. I'm sorry that I haven't always been there for you. I'm sorry for all of the bad calls I've made in the past, and the ones I'll probably make in the future. Don't let my mistakes hold you back. You deserve to fly, Jaybird. You will again. You just need time, and someone to help mend your wings." Jason almost shut off the video right there, but Bruce, damn him, somehow managed one of his dramatic pauses, and it sucked Jason in, just like it sucked in everyone else. He waited, holding his breath, for what Bruce would say next.
"By the way, Alfred says you owe about $300 to the swear jar. I told him I'd take it out of your allowance. Oh, and check your bookshelf."
Jason released his breath in a surprised huff of laughter. Shaking his head at the lame dad joke, he muttered, "Sentimental old man." Still, he backed up the video to his hard drive, then carefully ejected the thumb drive and set it in the same safe that held his most valuable gear and a small set of family photos. His bookshelf occupied the same wall. Jason ran his fingertips over the spines of hardcovers and paperbacks, arranged by author and genre, until he found one that was slightly out of place. Emily Dickinson. The book came free of its neighbors easily. Jason thumbed it open to where the pages parted around a strip of red paper. Batman needs his Robin, the paper said, in Bruce's angular script. The poem it marked was familiar.
Part One: Life
VI
IF I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.