[this is unsurprising. rachel has always loved his body even when he hasn't been able to feel the same because of what it's done to him, because of how it gets wracked with sickness. how sickly it has always been. even now, it's only becoming an angel that likely saved him to begin with.
of course, she believed. of course, she was right too. it's rachel. she always, always believes, fights.]
I know you didn't. You were that light in my life as a kid. You didn't see me that way.
[and she made him eat dirt, and then her father died, and he never saw her as that girl that lost her dad that way either. they're both so familiar with hospitals from their lives, but it was never the way they viewed each other. never what they were about. noah swallows, looking down at what she says. he knows it's true.] I know. I know, and I'm... going to stop. I promise. [he looks up at her slowly.] I'll try my best. I mean, it doesn't... happen over night.
[not when he has been doing it for so, so long, but he-- he knows what happens if he doesn't stop. this.]