It's true that it's a bit hard to give concrit when you haven't been around for very long. My one criticism would be that I don't think Kazahaya was wtfing enough at the face that he's in a different world. Having said that, it didn't particularly bother me. I'm going to mention this because I've seen other people fall into this trap before, both when RPing and writing fic - please don't make him too much of a uke. Just a note for future reference or something. And I hope you get a Rikuou soon.