You've been through so much. Everyone has things that they don't like about themselves, reminders that tell them that they're not as good or perfect as they think or might wish...
But so many people aren't able to face those demons and get to the other side stronger for it. But you were able to do just that, here and back home... and able to face it in a more physical way than most people ever are able to. That makes you so strong... and I'm so glad that you were able to get through that.
Of course such a thing would upset you. But you made it through, and you're so brave for doing that. I'm proud of you.