[He just slumps a little, sighing, and looking up at her -- and he knows this isn't what you're asking (or perhaps it is) but he says it anyway,]
I'm sorry, my lady. I didn't... I never wanted to worry anyone. Didn't think the journals would record. I didn't come out here to get hurt, I just... I just needed to take my mind off things. But I was distracted.
But if I stop... doing anything or talking with you or anything like that I just start thinking. And I don't want to think.
[It hurts too much and he knows he's overthinking, but what is he supposed to think when he's left without a word? When whenever something happens, the first thing he asks for is his cross and not for him, when all he wants is a child and that's not something he can give him and -- and it just leaves him thinking, knowing, that he can't truly be the first in this thoughts, never can be, never could be, not with her, not with that child... that he's just an afterthought.]
[He closes his eyes again, breathing out slowly] I'm sorry.