[Well, your friend is joining the party about halfway through, though it might not be immediately obvious who it is -- considering as his face, and in fact half of him, is hidden under the massive pile of books he's carrying. There are titles of all kinds: astronomy, chemistry, some books about martial arts, a book of 501 must-drink cocktails; basically everything he could find in the bookstore that he thought might interest Porthos.]
[... yes, those are your birthday present. He's not going to start shooting melons off anyone's head, so you'll have to do with this.]