It's difficult for all of us. [He can't stress that enough. He's seen all of them cry, their hearts broken and strained. It had only been due to prior experience in losing their friends that Ian and Ucchii had managed to keep everyone together.]
At least for me, I'd already been through it before. The rest of you...
[...Ian really would do anything if it meant never having to see those looks of anguish on his friend's faces again.]