At the time, I didn't realize that Lancelot was a shade, summoned by... my sister in order to prevent Guinevere from taking her place as queen, on the throne she felt was hers alone.
... Regardless of whether it was him or not, I'd... long since accepted that, should things have been different, should Lancelot not have sacrificed everything for Guinevere and for Camelot, she would have led a happy life with him over me.