[How is that even a logical conclusion, man, what]
Uh, no? I'm one-hundred percent real awesomeness, okay? You, on the other hand, are from a book written by Alexander Dumas, based on the life of a real musketeer who actually lived but whose life was nothing like what it's described in the book, just so you know. To recap: France? Real. Musketeers? Real. The Three Musketeers? Not real.