I know. [... Pulls away a bit, but just so he can lift a hand, brushing at his hair if only for something to do with his hands] I -- I know.
That's why you're an idiot. [And it hurts to think about you just waiting and blaming yourself when it isn't your fault, damn it. And he just... doesn't get it, doesn't understand how he's worth it, how it could ever be worth it.] That's why--
[...] [Breathes out, trying to not let his voice shake as he looks down and away a little] Merlin.