[Surprised and then just. wraps his arms around him tight and holds him close, one hand lifting to slide through his hair. No, no, that isn't what you're supposed to say - it'll only hurt you more, ultimately. You're supposed to be able to move on.]
Merlin. [He. will never get it. He will never understand and it will always hurt to know that it's his fault you're sad and that he's being unfair and he has no right to also be a little happy to hear it, too -- and has no right to even hear it at all, no right to need to hear it.]