[He can't deny either of those statements, though the latter is less true than the former-- he might freak out, yes, but mainly because he's told you why it can't be and just. no.]
[So he just takes another gulp of the wine] So I'm doomed to a lifetime of pats on the head, great. [His voice is sarcastic enough to make it evident he's not being very serious. (Also watch him step around the topic nicely.)]